Comment from BermyBye50

Excellent

Tom,

This is an interesting and well-written free verse of a young man in Paris visiting a Parisian cabaret. Congrats on your win.

All the best,

Eugene

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2023

---

reply by the author on 07-Sep-2023

Thanks B2

Comment from Claire Tennant

Excellent

Well, Tom, after the day I have had, your poem was a tonic without the gin. I laughed so loudly our pooch thought I was crazy. A well-deserved win! Congratulations!

 Comment Written 06-Sep-2023

---

reply by the author on 06-Sep-2023

tonic without the gin.
Might Be because I don?t drink except fictitiously
In my composition
Thanks For Stopping by please Come Again

Comment from Jim Wile

Exceptional

This was really good, my friend. So, your dad took you for a night on the town. Cool dad!

Your imagery was great, and I could really picture exactly what you were seeing. I can well imagine how titillating that was for a young man who'd never seen such a thing.

I also liked the occasional rhyme in this free verse poem. They fit in very well. - Jim

 Comment Written 06-Sep-2023

---

reply by the author on 06-Sep-2023

Thank you, but ? the only thing dad did for me other than plant the seed and support the family was throwing a baseball hitting me purposely and telling me it to cry in little league. Shameful seeing he was signed to play for the Philadelphia farm club by Connie Mack

Comment from dragonpoet

Excellent

Hi Tom,
This is a nicely told story in a poem. It tells of a father showing a part of the adult male life to his son on his 21st birthday. I guess it is better than bringing his son to a brothel. Everyone is sorry the next morning when the hangover is felt.
Congrats on winning the contest,
Keep writing and stay healthy
Have a great day.
Joan

 Comment Written 06-Sep-2023

---

reply by the author on 06-Sep-2023

Thank you. As I may have stated, even a blind squirrel finds an acorn once in a while!
P.S. - the brothel was next on dad's list. I was sent back to my room.

reply by dragonpoet on 06-Sep-2023

Hi Tom,
Wow, what a fast and thorough bit of sex education.
I know my dad didn't have to do that for my brother because he was already married and with a child by the time he was 21.
Joan

reply by dragonpoet on 06-Sep-2023

Thanks again, Tom.
Joan

Comment from jenintorre

Exceptional

Congratulations Tom on your first place win. It is so well deserved. I absolutely love your poem. It is so funny and well written. It rocks. Love Jen.

 Comment Written 06-Sep-2023

---

reply by the author on 06-Sep-2023

Wow. I had forgotten. It was some time ago. Not a blue ribbon winner very often though I must say I don't enter many contests but freelance pieces nearly daily. Thank you.

Comment from karenina

Excellent

Congratulations, Tom! You were clearly meant to enter this in this contest...as your first place victory
proves! This is amazing free verse...you ought to send this one out to publisher's. Edgy? Sharp!

Karenina

 Comment Written 06-Sep-2023

---

reply by the author on 06-Sep-2023

Send out? I would not know how.
Once more your comments brighten my day even before the sunrise.
:-)

Comment from Contests

A contest winning entry! A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for posting the winning contest entry.

 Comment Written 06-Sep-2023

---

reply by the author on 06-Sep-2023

Surprise, surprise. It was for me though I hoped one day one effort would be rewarded.

Comment from Nicki Nance

Exceptional

Thanks for taking me on this adventure. This imagery is so vivid that the can-can will be with me all day. Best of all, the "doozy caboose." Such a rich read!

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2023

---

reply by the author on 14-Apr-2023

I must credit where it is due, Roget's a partner of mine finding me the right word at times where a pregnant pause may occur. Doozy was a winner for me, and I am glad you liked it sufficiently to make note.

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Excellent poem about growing teenager's experience watching girls thighs...maybe more. (*<>*) Love this.... "fems below the hem"

The free verse forced flows well.

the structure makes sense, it draws on emotions and it presents strong images.

Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis

 Comment Written 13-Apr-2023

---

reply by the author on 13-Apr-2023

... and I am thinking not overly racy either? Correct? I almost chose Adult but felt it sufficiently gentle no one would be upset. So far, that's the way it has been accepted. Thanks for commenting

reply by Gypsy Blue Rose on 14-Apr-2023

I understand what you mean. I just wrote a tanka about a couple that has sexual overtones but not offensive at all ... it's poetic. Yours it's not racy.

Comment from Ric Myworld

Excellent

Young lads imaginations tend to make things better than they ever could be in real life. But now, that doesn't mean they aren't good enough to fuel a lifetime fantasy. LOL. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 13-Apr-2023

---

reply by the author on 13-Apr-2023

I only visited one bar that had a semi=topless lady twirling them babies in different directions, dancing to Uncle Albert by the Beatles.
Never visited a bar in the Philippines. Stayed virtuous while ashore. Usually in the gym or shagging balls.

reply by Ric Myworld on 15-Apr-2023

We really are similar. I used to spend hours a day either in the gym or playing golf. Never was one for strip clubs.