Exceptional A man has to make an agonising decision. For The Love Of Jessie by Janilou      Contest Winner  Have you ever loved anyone this much?

Category:  Romance Fiction   Posted:  October 30, 2008      Views: 865

ABOUT JANILOU  Janilou is a woman who loves God. Much of her work reflects her faith. Christian music often inspires her work. She is honored to have been named FanStory's Short Works Author Of The Year, in 2007 and 2008, and thanks all of her wonderful fans for the ranking. Their comments and support are her inspiration! She writes whenever her dairy goats allow her to escape the milking barn. If she's not on FanStory, you might find her on Facebook, using her real name, Jan Anderegg. Quote Of The Day: "Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight: Always try to be a little kinder than is necessary." Sir James M Barrie She has won several contests. The contest submission Death By Taxes was the first place winner in the contest . Boys Will Be Boys was the first place winner in the contest . Twas The Night Before - Say What? was the first place winner in the contest . She is a top ranked author and is currently holding the #41 position. The Seal of Quality committee has rewarded her with 2 seals. Portfolio | Become A Fan Ben gasped as the acrid odor of the collapsing airbag seared his nostrils. His left arm hung, a lump of flesh,  useless by his side. Pain pulsed through the nerves and muscles, screaming for attention. Shoving the heavy fabric away from his face with his good arm, he wiped blood out of his eyes and reached for his wife. "Honey, are you okay? That lunatic hit us head-on! I think my arm's broken. Jessie? Can you hear me?" He patted the seat and his stomach sank. Reaching in his pocket, he felt a narrow metal object. "Jessie, talk to me!" Pulling out the flashlight, he pressed it against his leg, willing his shaking hand to hold steady while he switched it on.  The narrow beam of light revealed an empty seat and massive hole in the windshield. Ben's mouth dropped open in a guttural scream. "Are you all right, sir?" A man ran to the side of the vehicle as sirens shattered the night air.  The car shook as the would-be rescuer tried the door. "Hang tight, buddy. It's jammed, but we'll get you out of there in a second." Ben leaned back, ignoring the throbbing pain in his arm as tears raced through the bloodied maze of his face. "What do I care?" He gulped back a sob. "Jessie's dead."                                                                  The male nurse guided the wheelchair out onto the enclosed balcony. "There you go. Look at that light show!" He pointed in the direction of the northern Minnesota border where the Aurora Borealis was giving a spectacular display. Shimmering curtains of light danced across the evening sky in a gamut of colors. Ben's foggy breath mingled with the glow, blurring the view, and he shuddered. Ben looked up. "Is the wheelchair really necessary? I can walk with a cane, you know." The young man smiled. "You know the rules here at the rehab center, Mr. Hart. The therapy is going well, but you're damn lucky you can walk at all. Doctor Ash explained the nerve damage you suffered, correct?" He set the brakes on the chair and draped a blanket over Ben's legs. "There you are, sir. I'll be back in about fifteen minutes to check on you." Ben stared across the horizon where rivers of emerald cascaded through the crisp November sky. Swirling and twisting they danced on, ignorant of his pain. He closed his eyes but couldn't stop the memories flooding back. Jessie was laughing . "Close your eyes, Ben! You can still see them!"  They were standing in her parents' yard, celebrating their first wedding anniversary. Ben smiled and stepping closer, put one arm around her shoulder. Jessie laughed and slipped underneath, skipping just out of reach. "Come on, baby. Let's celebrate!" She swayed and twisted, hands in the air, following the rhythm of the lights streaming across the sky. "I love them, Ben! Almost as much as I love you!" She ran up and kissed him. "Once I take that position with the new firm, we won't see them much anymore." Jessie's face fell. "Oh, Ben, Los Angeles? I don't know if I can adjust to such a big city. I'm a country girl at heart, and a northern one at that. Besides, I really wanted to go on that mission trip to South America next spring. I want to help those people. Make a difference." "You can't save the world, sweetheart. Besides, this is a huge opportunity. My salary will be tripled." Jessie rested her head on his shoulder, and gazed up at the sky. "What will you do if I refuse to come with you? Hold me in contempt of court?" He kissed her head. "Silly girl. Only the judge can do that. But I could file a motion. . . ." She spun around, eyes shining, hands on her hips. He laughed at her mock outrage. "You'll come. You can't live without me." Throwing her arms around his neck, she hugged him. "You know it's true, baby." Ben shuddered as the memory faded. Tears welled in his eyes. He glanced around, hoping no-one noticed, but the area was deserted. "Why, God? Why did you take her?" The irony of her death still haunted him.  "Jess, get me a soda, will you?" "Can't reach them! Hang on, I have to take my seat-belt off. Don't crash." She giggled and then turned around to lean over the seat.  Her perfume lingered across his face and he smiled. Looking ahead, he saw headlights and his smile faded. "Jessie, hurry up. There's a car coming at us and . . . " He never finished the sentence before the impact took away his entire reason for living. He glared up at the sky. The lights were fading, leaving a black emptiness behind.   "Just like Jessie's dreams." Ben coughed, wincing from the lingering pain of four broken ribs. "She would have made a difference, you know," a voice said. Ben felt a hand rest on his shoulder. He twisted his neck and looked up at an oddly dressed man in an emerald green suit, complete with top hat. "Who the hell are you and what are you talking about?" "Jessie, of course," he said. "If you'd let her go to South America, she would have saved lives. Thousands of them." "Kind of a moot point, now. She's dead." Ben spat out the last two words. "It was my fault, too." He didn't care who knew or what they thought of his confession. He could never ease the self-blame that tortured every breath he took. "How did you know she wanted to go to South America?" "Ah, yes, an excellent question, young man."  He wrinkled his nose. "Not particularly important, but interesting, all the same. Of far greater consequence, is what you plan to do about it." The stranger tipped his hat and dropped a gold leaf envelope in Ben's lap. "Read this, and let me know what you decide. I'll be back tomorrow." He turned in a circle twice and vanished. Ben blinked and rubbed his eyes. The letter lay in his lap. Hands shaking, he opened it, and began to read. The next night, Ben was waiting when the man in green walked through the door. "I thought maybe you'd just appear out of nowhere, like you did last night," Ben said, his voice quivering. "I'll do it! Are you sure it will work?" He smiled. "I feel like I'm dreaming, but this is for real, isn't it?" The man nodded. "It won't be easy." Ben laughed. "You don't know how easy it will be. Jessie will be mine again. I don't care how long it takes." "You can't stand in the way of her life. If you interfere, fate will twist on itself and she will die. The second time doesn't bring a second chance." Ben's eyes narrowed. "I'll move away. Wait until the right time." The old man shook his head. "Not immediately. You must be there for her, and for her husband, for the first year. Only then, can you leave them. But, be warned: Even leaving won't be as easy as you think." Ben looked him in the eye. "I love her. For the love of Jessie, I can do anything." "Even give her back her dreams?" "Yes." The old man folded his hands and smiled. "Very well. There's just one more thing: When the day comes, Jessie will still be given a choice. She may not choose you." Ben thought back to the night in her parents' yard. "I hope she does." Clapping him on the shoulder, the old man said, "It will depend on you." "What's that supposed to mean?" Ben asked.  The balcony was empty. "Ben! Wake up! It's the big day. C'mon, man, we've only got three hours until the wedding."  Ben opened his eyes and rolled over in bed. Peering at his friend standing in the doorway, he shoved back the satin sheets and yawned. "Geeze, Stevie. Don't you knock? What are you talking about, buddy?" Steve laughed. "Are you kidding me? How much did you drink at that stag party last night?" Ben reached for his jeans. "Is someone getting married? Is that why you're all dressed up?" Steve stepped over to the mirror. "Help me with this tie, will you? I can't get it. Must be last minute nerves.  Hope you kept the rings safe. Jessie will never forgive you if you've lost them." Ben's stomach sank. He felt his arm. No pain. Pulling his shirt up, he stared at his chest. No surgical scars for a repaired lung. "Steve, did I have an accident?" Steve tugged at his collar. "No idea what you're talking about, but hurry up and get your suit on." He grinned.  "Am I the luckiest man on earth or what? To think, by this time tomorrow morning, Jessie and I will be on our honeymoon." Ben stared at his best friend. "Jessie's alive." Steve grabbed a comb and ran it through his thick, blond locks. "What did you say?" "Nothing." Nothing summed it up very well for Ben. He survived the wedding, and the honeymoon, alternating between ecstatic joy to see her alive once more, and the pain of having her so close, and yet not having her at all. What seemed so easy that night beneath the Northern Lights, became unbearable when lived minute-by-minute, day-by-day.  Each season brought new pain. He wanted to die, the hot summer night they left for a weekend lover's get-a-way on Lake Superior, their faces aglow with lover's secrets. As autumn spread across the nearby park, Ben's desolate heart shriveled,. like the brown leaves falling through the crisp air, leaving naight but the bare skeletons of man and tree behind. By the time snow blanketed the lakes, only the barest flame of hope hibernated deep in the dark caverns of his soul. For a year, he stayed nearby, waiting for the moment he could leave this torture behind. He would never forget the tears in her eyes when he told them he was moving away. "But, Ben, you won't be here to see our baby boy born!" Jessie said, hugging Steve, as they chatted one evening around a barbecue in their backyard. "You're Steve's right arm. What will he do without you at the office?" Ben's smile hid the agony of his aching heart. He wanted to hold her, proclaim his love, make love to her.  I need her so bad. She's not mine anymore. What if she never chooses me again? The feelings and emotions swirled inside his brain like a tempest. He sighed and lifted his glass.   "What will Steve do? Win lots of cases and make heaps of money. Probably make senior partner by this time next fall. Here's to a new future!" "A new future!" Steve and Jessie chorused.  "We'll miss you," Jessie said. "Won't we, darling?" Steve nodded, sipping his wine. "Why are you going back to school? I thought you loved being a lawyer." Ben shrugged. "I do. I just feel a different calling, now, that's all." Jessie's eyes shone. "I know what you mean. I'll have to put off my degree for a year or two, but I have so many dreams of practicing medicine." I know you do. Ben feigned a yawn. "I'm beat. See you tomorrow at the airport, guys. I'm heading home to pack." He didn't see them. He flew out the next morning on a rescheduled flight, knowing if they'd come to see him off, he might have changed his mind. Over the years he received post cards, letters and pictures of a baby boy held by two beaming parents. He moved and so did they, and somewhere in the midst of the packing boxes, they lost touch. He finished school again, and went back for his Masters and then his PhD. His reluctance to date even the most beautiful women led to rumors, but finally, everyone decided he was married to his work and left him alone. He worked sixteen-hour days, slept six, and for the rest of the time, waited. Time slipped by with all the care of a narcissistic sociopath and one morning Ben woke up with silver strands in his hair. Stepping out onto the floor mat, he pushed the mosquito netting aside, and pulled on his shoes. He glanced at Jessie's photo and offered up a prayer for her, Steve and their family as he did every day when she crossed his mind. "Awey, my bru," a voice shouted from outside the tent.  Ben smiled, pulling on his coat. "Good morning to you, too, Dakarai." Exiting the tent, he scanned the medical camp. "Is the new doctor arriving today?" "Yes, just now. Her name is Nyaga," Dakarai said.  "She's here? Already? Very well. I'm interested to meet her."  "The team from Somalia speak highly of her." "Good to hear. We need more qualified help." The two men strolled over to the camp office. "Here she comes!" Dakarai exclaimed, pointing to a jeep plowing up a plume of dust along the road. "You said she was here," Ben said, reminding himself that "just now" in Africa could mean eventually, or even never. The vehicle came to a halt and Ben stepped forward as the door opened, extending his hand to the woman as she climbed out, clutching a broad-brim hat.  Taking his hand in a firm grip, she shook it.  Good, she's not afraid of hard work. Ben judged a person's strength for working under the conditions he lived with by their handshake. "Welcome to Doctors Without Borders, Haiti Base Camp Number Two. Come with me, and I'll show you to your tent." "Is that any way to greet an old friend who's traveled halfway across the continent to find you?" Lightning bolts of emotion electrified Ben's body and he peered beneath the hat. "Jessie?" Laughing, she threw her arms around him. "Ben, it's so good to see you." He held her close, burying his face in her soft hair and the scent of Lulu perfume. "You haven't changed a bit."   She pulled back. "Oh, you liar! It's been thirty years since I saw you. I've changed." Patting her waist, she winked. "I don't have the girlish figure you remember." "But, your name. They told us to expect a lady called Nyaga." "I wanted to surprise you. I often go by my adopted native name over here. Makes things easier in some of the villages. It means life is precious." "I know." Ben fought to control his emotions. "How is Steve? Your son?" Waving a surprised Dakarai aside, he picked up her bags and walked toward the tent where she would stay. A shadow flitted across her face as she hurried behind him. "Steve passed away two years ago, last June. Pancreatic cancer. He never forgot you, Ben. I miss him so much. He was a wonderful husband." Ben swallowed hard. "I'm so sorry, Jessie. When I went away to school, you moved. I thought of you, I . . . ."   "It's okay, Ben. Steve understood." "Really?" Did he know how much I loved and longed for his wife? "He said you were a workaholic, just like him." She laughed. "I think it rubbed off on Ryan Benjamin. He is going to UCLA next year to study medicine." "Ryan Benjamin?"  "Our second son. He was born two years after you left." Ben placed her bags inside the tent. "Here you are, then. I'll send Susan over to help you unpack, and then I'll show you around." "Ben, wait," Jessie said as he turned to leave.  He hesitated. For thirty years he'd dreamed of this day. The words of the stranger still echoed in his mind. When the day comes, Jessie will still be given a choice. She may not choose you.  He'd imagined their reunion in a thousand different locations, but never this one. Crazy as it seemed, he needed time to figure out what to do. Jessie tilted her head. "Can we talk in private? Just for a moment?" Nodding, he waved toward the door and they stepped inside the small tent.  She put her hands on his arms. "Oh, Ben. Where do I start?" Tears filled her eyes. "I loved Steve with all my heart. I love my boys. I've had a wonderful life, the perfect life, until three years ago, when Steve's cancer was diagnosed. I've been working with Doctors Without Borders ever since he died. He told me if I ever found you, to give you this note."  Ben looked at her beautiful face, streaked with dust-stained tears as he took the note. "Open it, Ben." Ben unfolded the paper. To the best friend I ever had, Ben Hart.  Ben winced.  If you're reading this, I'm no longer here, not on this planet anyway. Last night, I had a strange dream, almost like a vision. A man in a green suit and top hat walked into my hospital room. You probably think I'm crazy, and it might have been the pain-killing drugs they're pumping me full of, but I can't forget what he said.  I wondered for years why you abandoned our friendship, but now I know. I can't imagine what you went through. I don't think I could have done it. I can't be there for her anymore. Please take care of her. If you have a family, please, at least, be her friend.   Your buddy,  Steve Ben folded the note and tucked it into his shirt pocket, before glancing at Jessie.  Twisting her hands like a nervous schoolgirl, she brushed a stray wisp of hair back from her cheek. "The drugs made him a little crazy at the end. Look, there's no easy way to say this, but --" "Jessie, don't. You don't have to explain anything. I know you loved him." "Please, Ben. I've waited so long to tell you this. I did love Steve, and he gave me a wonderful life and two fabulous children. We traveled the world, doing disaster-relief work once the kids were grown. You never married, did you?" Ben shook his head. She took his hand. "When we were in college, you were both my best friends. I liked Steve a lot, but I felt like your soul mate. Every time you looked at me, I'd melt in the power of the love I thought I saw there, but you never made a move.  Finally, after a year, when Steve asked me out on a date, I said yes. Then I cried all night when I got home. I wanted you, Ben." Ben exhaled with a low whistle. Jessie covered her mouth. "I'm sorry. You must think I'm--" Stepping forward, Ben took her in his arms. He felt her body melting against his. He rained tiny kisses all over her hair until she lifted her face and their lips found the passion thirty years denied, for the love of Jessie.   Contest Winner Recognized Share your own writing! - Information on our membership for writers. Author Notes This contest, Strange Romantic Story, called for a strange short story, with an element of romance, something you might have seen on Twilight Zone in the old days. I didn't see too many Twilight Zone shows, but I hope I've made this strange enough, while still understandable. Let me know if there are errors. I will correct them! Thank you so much! It's been called to my attention the contest states the story should only be three typewritten pages in length. When I joined this contest and wrote my entry, the requirements were for a minimum of 1000 to a maximum 3000 words. I find the idea of 'typewritten pages'to be very vague. I followed the original instructions! Jani Pays one point and 2 member cents.

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