Sadness envelopes me as I wonder why David lost interest in me. After all, we were close friends for such a long time. Everybody we know is as surprised as I am to discover that he no longer cares for me.

Although we all saw the symptoms of memory loss, none of us thought for a minute that he would lose his love for me so quickly.

Within two weeks he went from showing his affection for me openly to avoiding me and withdrawing into his books. For David, his son couldn’t come for him fast enough.

Since David left it has been very difficult to process why he suddenly changed. I have gone from missing him terribly to being angry with him to slowly resolving the loss of my best friend and lover.

Yes, sometimes I am lonely. But it is mainly because I miss David’s companionship.

I have reasoned with myself why I need someone better and more suited for me than David was or ever could be.

I will always miss our friendship. That is a given. I have learned some lessons that were hard to accept. But by accepting them I am a better person.

Last week, we said our final goodbyes.

I asked for my key and fob back and I said I wanted it sent by registered mail. I am giving him two weeks to send it. If by then I haven’t received it, I will call his son and ask him to make sure they are sent to me.

Maybe then, I will have a final closure.

It still hurts and I cry from time to time.

But slowly I am distancing myself from David and soon all I will have are the good memories to remind me of our great friendship.

David did a lot for me over the nearly 20-year span of our friendship.

I will always remember fondly the many good times we had going to the Elk River Estuary. He would drive my wheelchair between the beautiful trees. I could smell the trees and the many blossoms, especially after a rainfall.

We would also sometimes go nearby close to the bay where we watched the many birds and other creatures that lived there. We had our favorite bench where he would push my wheelchair up to and he would sit beside me. We had many good times on that bench.

I remember one time in the spring when we watched a male seal jump out of the water just a few yards away. It was an amazing sight to see!

David said the seal was displaying for the female of his species to find a mate. It was a mating ritual that was fun to watch.

David knew a lot about animals and plants in the area. He was a plethora of information when it came to so many things.

After meeting David, I found I enjoyed nature so much more than before. He taught me so much about life.

Yep, remembering all of this makes me miss him more.

I’ll bet it will help me gain closure which is the reason why I am writing this now.

I need to move on. If I want to gain my freedom, I need to get over him and move on to better things.

Hearing the crows outside reminds me of David. He loves the crows and ravens, and I prefer the seagulls. He said the crows and ravens were so much smarter than the gulls.

With this, we had an ongoing argument.

Haha, even the sound of a crow reminds me of David.

It will take time, but hopefully, in a while, I will be over him. Not ever completely but enough to let go and move on.

I will continue with my journey on a renewed pathway to completion of my goals for a full recovery.