Constipation in the Colon

“Hello once again. This is Den Drite of Central Nervous System News (CNSN) bringing you the events of our host as they happen. Currently, our host has been stricken with constipation which is now entering its second day. I realize this is a sensitive subject butt we here at CNSN feel it is important to report on all the happenings of our host no matter the subject. Right now let’s check in with our traffic neuron Syd Napse with a back story and update.”

“Hello Den and hello to all our viewers who are with us today.  We have a blockage at the larger intestine interchange where the partially digested food, which we will call waste/stool, normally passes into the colon corridor where it loses water and then to the rectal through fare and finally the anal exit for a smooth ride out of the body.

“Unfortunately, our host recently passed a kidney stone and needed some opiate pain medication produced outside the body in the form of Percocet. This med can cause constipation if one doesn’t stay hydrated, which is the case with our host.  Once traffic entered the interchange here, the colon took any water available and due to our hosts dehydration, there was little H2O to spare which caused traffic to harden up and slow way down.”

“Hang on Syd, we seem to have another take on this issue from our Large Intestine/colon/rectal affiliates. For that we go to Mi-LeeAnn-Sheath. Take it away Mi-LeeAnn.”

“Thanks Den. I have a representative from the Large Intestine, who goes by the name Appendix, to give us a bit more info on how the solid and dry stool is formed. “

“Thanks Mi-LeeAnn. I appreciate you giving me the time to share my thoughts as I don’t always get the respect I deserve from the science folks. It’s only when I get sick do they give me any mention which causes me to get really mad(!) and burst with anger(!) and...! Sorry got carried away there.”

“No problem Appendix. I understand your situation and empathize with you. It’s nice to have you here to give us this vital piece of information.”

“You’re so kind Mi. As I was impulsing, it’s not entirely the fault of the large intestine/colon when it comes to constipation. Many times it’s the host’s lifestyle that interferes with the natural order of things, specifically the Mind/Gut connection. When this is off kilter, the muscles responsible for moving things along slow down, which in turn causes traffic to remain in the colon corridor too long. This coupled with our host being dehydrated caused more and more water to be reabsorbed resulting in the dry and lumpy traffic we have here.

“I appreciate you letting me paint a clearer picture of the causes of this situation, so others aren’t unfairly picked on. It really burns my bridges when I think….(!!!) Sorry again, I had best be going so I don’t cause a scene.”

“That’s just fine Appendix and thanks so much for your insight. We will certainly hook up with Dr. Hip O. Camus, who is our memory expert, and get more info about our hosts’ contribution to the situation at hand. Back to you Den.”

“Thanks Mi-LeeAnn. I do in fact have Dr. Camus hooked up to a neuron and he is now impulsing into our studio. Welcome Dr. Camus.”

“Thanks Den. It’s nice to be here and I always have fond memories of our chats.”

“Appreciate that Dr. In terms of our hosts constipation and Appendixs' comments, what can you give us as to any lifestyle memories that may have contributed to our hosts dilemma.”

“Well Den, first let me say I respect Appendix and their input. While Appendix isn’t always mentioned on a positive note, I will say they do keep a low profile and try not to interfere with our hosts’ daily activities. It’s no fault of theirs that they may cause an uncomfortable situation and I empathize with them on their plight.”

“Well impulsed Dr. and we here at CNSN agree wholeheartedly.”

“Thanks Den. To follow up on Appendix’s input, I was in the process of looking at our host’s previous actions when your producer impulsed me. I've come up with a few that certainly played a part in all this mess.

“First is the previously mentioned lack of hydration. Despite receiving information from his health care team to drink, and I quote, ‘lots and lots of water so you don’t get plugged up,’ our host neglected to do so.

“Secondly, and maybe most importantly, our host is under a lot of self-imposed stress due to work related issues as well as caos at home due to both he and his wife working and trying to balance that with raising 3 kids. As a result our host has been diagnosed with mild forms of depression and anxiety.

“That is very insightful Dr. Camus. How do stress and depression contribute to this issue?”

“Good question Den and we have Appendix to thank for the answer. Stress and depression disrupt the Brain/Gut Connection and, as Appendix informed us, this causes slower muscle movement and thus more time for the colon to absorb water.  Not to blame the colon mind you; that's their job.”

“Now that we have causes what about treatments? What has our hoist done to solve this traffic problem?”

“Well Den, initially our host had a hard time dealing with this as he worried about the slowdown, which only made matters worse. However, in the past few impulses he has recalled the memories from his health care team and has increased his fluid intake.

“With our host becoming more hydrated there will be a reduction in the amount of water needing to be absorbed in the colon corridor. In addition, my cellular layers are also giving him relaxing and entertaining memories to counter the Gut/Brain interference and help initiate muscle movement on the intestinal highway.”

“Once again, I and all our viewers thank you for your keen insight into this complicated situation Dr. Camus. I look forward to impulsing soon. “

“Thanks Den, I couldn’t do it without all my cell layers so an impulse out to all of them. “

“Indeed. Please let them know our appreciation for their input.”

“Will do Den. Happy memories.

We now go to MyLee-Ann for an update.”

“Thanks Den. I must say those cellular layers are fast impulsers as I am receiving news that our host has already received info to help him relax. I will share them with you now though I must warn you this info contains corny and silly jokes. We here at CNSN do not support or condone such information. We are here to inform only. Having said that, I must say the info is definitely helping me stay on the positive impulse. Hope it works for our host.

“Here we go: ‘From the Bowels of Corny Jokes” we give you; What is the German word for constipation? Farfrompooper(insert your own German accent.) Why does Piglet smell bad? He plays with Poo. And…What did Mr. Spock find in the toilet? The Captains Log.

“How are we doing Den?”

“Well Mi, according to Syd things are beginning to relax around the sphincter interchange and we may have movement. Keep going.”

“Ok. Why was Tigger on the toilet? He was looking for Pooh. Again we here at CNSN do not take responsibility for this content. If you have any issues contact Dr. Hip O. Camus, Director of Memory.”

“Hi My LeeAnn, this is Syd. Whatever you’re doing it’s working. I can see traffic sliding towards the anal exit. It seems the ‘humor’ has helped to repair the Gut/Brain connection. There’s been a release of endorphins which has allowed the smooth muscles to do their job and move things along.

“And with our host becoming more hydrated, there is less absorption in the colon corridor making traffic much softer. It is definitely sliding along just fine. Almost there…”

“Ok one more…In breaking news, a toilet was stolen from the police station. They report they have nothing to go on. It is a crappy situation indeed.”

“That may have done it Mi and Den!!  The interior and exterior sphincters are working, and our waste is on its way to the anus exit. I’m also detecting movement in the arms and visual confirmation that our host is reaching for toilet paper. The clean-up has begun which signifies an end to this traffic malady. Quite a series of events. Back to you Den.
 

“Well impulsed Syd and MyLeeAnn. That was something to witness firsthand. Well done everyone. This was certainly a group effort. From constipation and digestion to drug interactions and beyond, our talented staff here at Central Nervous System News has you covered. This is Den Drite thanking you once again and until next time have pleasant impulses.”