The West
Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "The Gambler"One man's journey west.
28 total reviews
Comment from Writingfundimension
Hi, Thomas
This chapter had a script-like quality for me when you got into the story of the cheating gambler and the justice meted out by the Traveler. Very well written, and a great addition to the previous chapters.
:) Bev
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2018
  |
Hi, Thomas
This chapter had a script-like quality for me when you got into the story of the cheating gambler and the justice meted out by the Traveler. Very well written, and a great addition to the previous chapters.
:) Bev
Comment Written 12-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2018
-
Thanks for reading.
-
You're welcome!
Comment from Sugarray77
I liked how you developed the dusty, dirty characterization of this cowboy. A lot of no nonsense about him and he knows how to take care of himself and the situation. Well done on this chapter.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2018
|
I liked how you developed the dusty, dirty characterization of this cowboy. A lot of no nonsense about him and he knows how to take care of himself and the situation. Well done on this chapter.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2018
-
Thanks for reading.
Comment from nartoonla
Now that cowboy was excellent indeed. I must have you post me a reminder as care to read on as your story continues...
I like westerns and it's no wonder I like your touch. It was as if you were once one. if so in your past life...I enjoyed reading it and well done!
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2018
|
Now that cowboy was excellent indeed. I must have you post me a reminder as care to read on as your story continues...
I like westerns and it's no wonder I like your touch. It was as if you were once one. if so in your past life...I enjoyed reading it and well done!
Comment Written 10-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2018
-
Thanks. There is only one chapter of this story left. It will be posted tomorrow.
-
Ok, thanks will be there...
Comment from Mistydawn
This is a very enjoyable read. The description was perfect I felt like I was there. The characters, the dialogue was believable. The plot really drew me in, kept my attention to the end. I hope you don't mind if I follow you so I can continue with the story.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2018
 |
This is a very enjoyable read. The description was perfect I felt like I was there. The characters, the dialogue was believable. The plot really drew me in, kept my attention to the end. I hope you don't mind if I follow you so I can continue with the story.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2018
-
It would be great if you followed the story, but there is only one more chapter.
-
Darn it.
-
I was only going to read a few chapters a night until I caught up, but ended up reading the whole thing. Except chapter 13, It'd come up as 12 or 14. Great story very interesting. It makes you realize how different things were. The hardships, difficulties they had to face. I love how you introduced the different tribes, gave a brief look into their lives, traditions, beliefs. I especially enjoyed their stories.
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
I got on my horse and rode. I let the horse walk easy on my way out of town. As I passed the sheriff's office, I saw the sheriff running out the door and toward the saloon. He must have heard the gunplay.
"Come on, girl. Better pick up the pace." I galloped away, and never looked back.
This was the west for Jake Silver, a cheating gambler from Boston.' I always adore your writing. This was so exciting, I wait with baited breath for more well done kindest regards Meia xx
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2018
|
I got on my horse and rode. I let the horse walk easy on my way out of town. As I passed the sheriff's office, I saw the sheriff running out the door and toward the saloon. He must have heard the gunplay.
"Come on, girl. Better pick up the pace." I galloped away, and never looked back.
This was the west for Jake Silver, a cheating gambler from Boston.' I always adore your writing. This was so exciting, I wait with baited breath for more well done kindest regards Meia xx
Comment Written 09-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2018
-
One more chapter and this story is done.
Comment from mbroyles2
Every chapter is a scene from a movie or a television series like Maverick.
Each adventure tells a story and this one was the end of the line for old Jake Silver.
Truly enjoy this selection of stories about the old west.
Michael
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2018
|
Every chapter is a scene from a movie or a television series like Maverick.
Each adventure tells a story and this one was the end of the line for old Jake Silver.
Truly enjoy this selection of stories about the old west.
Michael
Comment Written 09-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2018
-
Thanks for reading. Each chapter is a stand-alone short story.
Comment from Bill Schott
That was a neat chapter as the the Traveler gets to dip his wick and take out the trash (Jake Silver) at the same stay. They ought to offer that at Best Western.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2018
|
That was a neat chapter as the the Traveler gets to dip his wick and take out the trash (Jake Silver) at the same stay. They ought to offer that at Best Western.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2018
-
More people would stay there.
Comment from Rasmine
Hello, Thomas, :)
I have a couple of suggestions:
The ride had been so dusty that even my bay horse looked like a gray (are you describing the horse color after the dusty ride?). Jake's deck was broken in. I never saw a deck of cards so worn (you used 'deck' twice. Maybe you could say 'it', because we know what it is.)
Have a good weekend, Thomas.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2018
|
Hello, Thomas, :)
I have a couple of suggestions:
The ride had been so dusty that even my bay horse looked like a gray (are you describing the horse color after the dusty ride?). Jake's deck was broken in. I never saw a deck of cards so worn (you used 'deck' twice. Maybe you could say 'it', because we know what it is.)
Have a good weekend, Thomas.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2018
-
A gray is also what they call a grey horse. Thanks for the suggestions.
-
Is it not 'grey' then?
TC
NKM
Comment from charlene7190
This chapter caught my attention right away which is what writing is supposed to do. I really enjoyed the descriptive way you write, it brings a real mental picture of the scene. I enjoyed this a lot. Well done.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2018
|
This chapter caught my attention right away which is what writing is supposed to do. I really enjoyed the descriptive way you write, it brings a real mental picture of the scene. I enjoyed this a lot. Well done.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2018
-
Thank you for your comments.
Comment from judiverse
Lots of atmosphere in this, and you really give us a sense of the Osceola and the saloon. The use of dialogue increases the interest. The card game is an excellent scene. it shows how well the Traveler was able to read Jake Silver, the gambler. Interesting that Jake was from Boston. Funny that he rides right past the sheriff's office and is on his way out of town, as if it's his due. The Traveler doesn't seem to have any regrets about his actions. Well described. judi
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2018
|
Lots of atmosphere in this, and you really give us a sense of the Osceola and the saloon. The use of dialogue increases the interest. The card game is an excellent scene. it shows how well the Traveler was able to read Jake Silver, the gambler. Interesting that Jake was from Boston. Funny that he rides right past the sheriff's office and is on his way out of town, as if it's his due. The Traveler doesn't seem to have any regrets about his actions. Well described. judi
Comment Written 08-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2018
-
The traveler basically feels he is in the right. dispensing frontier justice.
-
No one appointed him sheriff. I think I was surprised that the Traveler reacted so quickly. judi
