Comment from I am Cat

Excellent

'Yet, hope has no meaning in certainty.
And belief without evidence is folly.'

Have you ever read, "The Praise of Folly" by Desiderius Erasmus (I think I spelled that correctly?) You really should if you haven't... but with your wit... I wouldn't be surprised if you already have. I loved it.

'Hope, love, trust, belief - these I comprehend.
Compassion and empathy have meaning.

But faith flies planes into buildings,
And makes believers drink death's Kool-aid.'

(oh. oh,... now we're getting somewhere)
lol

'There are no seventy-two virgins, no utopia.
No reward for being naïve.'
(who really wants a virgin? I mean... really? I'd much rather have someone who KNOWS WTF they're doing, wouldn't you?) (you don't have to answer that) lol

'For faith, hope and love abide,
but one is an illusion.'
(the next place I'm going... is to your reviews... I'm dying to know if anyone reviewed this... and if they did, I can't wait to hear what the Bible Belt had to say) lol

I think this is pure genius. Well, actually it's just pure (what was it Spock said?) Logic. yeah. It's just logic.

Plain and simple.
Cat

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2015

---

reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015

I haven't read it - I wasted my youth reading stuff by his buddy, Luther. I'll have to see if I can get it for my Kindle :)

Hmmm, as far as I know, I've only ever had one virgin - and even then, I can't be sure. Sadly, these days I often prefer a nice warm Milo then sleep. Dogs aren't the only things that get old!

I don't recall any super harsh criticism from the Bible belt - if there was, I've put it of my mind.

Thanks for reading - I have to go now, I see someone else has been busy posting stuff ;-)

Comment from Jackarrie

Excellent

I have no use for faith;
the concept has no meaning.

You are a man after my own heart,(an Irish expression) I loved your poem it speaks of reason and truth. I would like to share my poem I wrote about God a while back.

You believe that God is answering your prayers
Because faith is strong and firmly planted
You only need to seek and it you will find
When you ask, your wishes are granted.

So why do I find this blind faith so wrong
Presuming that he will listen to my plea
Faith in God with no evidence He's there
To cure my child, make him cancer free

If I could prove he exists I'd win a prize
I could ask him why he does not care
Should I believe that He's powerful and wise?
As dying children do not see him there

Choosing to suspend belief in favour of reason
After studying facts and all the science
It is a choice that I can honestly make
To go with a verdict of noncompliance


So will I be demonised, for my lack of faith?
Or will my words make sense and resonate?


Mary

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2015

---

reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015

Did you lose a child to cancer? If you did, I'm so very sorry. Believers can't see it, but prayer is a con job, in my opinion. If you get what you ask for, wonderful - God has granted your wish. If you don't - well, he still answered, but his response was "no". Such logic can't possibly be falsified, and therefore there is no reason to believe it's true. I'm very familiar with the expression "a man after my own heart" - it's in very common use where I'm from, and although I'd never thought of it until right now - yes, I can see that would be something we pinched from the Irish! Your poem is heartfelt, and full of wisdom. Thank you so much for sharing.

reply by Jackarrie on 07-Jun-2015

Thanks for your great reply. I lost a sister and brother to cancer, but my niece is at present on a trial for her Cll leukemia, she travels from Ireland to Leeds England. I could go on and on but it is not only cancer, I am watching the news and get horrified at how suffering of the innocent is going on without any help. If there was a God who is omnipotent why can he not do something for them? and if he as so much power why allow the children to develop illness.

Comment from pipersfancy

Excellent

I very much like this free verse work. Your well-chosen words resonate with me, though, I suspect others may find them to be stinging. I find this poem stark and challenging, which I like a great deal.

I shall offer some suggestions in review. Generally, I surround any changes/suggestions with (parenthesis). General comments I've listed under specific couplets. Mostly, I've tweaked punctuation, though I've also added some additional word choices to consider. If you'd prefer no suggestions, please let me know! I like to ask people right up front because (you may observe this as you become more familiar with FS) some tend to take offense, or view suggestions as attacks on their poetry. I wish neither to offend, nor attack... but only offer suggestions a poet may wish to consider.

I have no use for faith(;)
the concept has no meaning.

The assurance of things hoped for(-) (I think an em-dash would work better)
The conviction of things not seen.

Yet(,) hope has no meaning in (false) certainty(.)
And belief without evidence is folly.

What then is this sophistry?
By what trick does doubt become surety?
(A powerful couplet with strong engagement of the reader!)

Do you believe without doubt?
Then(,) for you(...) there is no question. (Added ellipsis for dramatic pause.)

(But, if you are but) three-fourths convinced(-) (Another em-dash)
Acknowledge your indecision.
(I LOVE the calling out of hypocrisy here!)

Hope, love, trust, belief(- no space, also, em-dash) these I comprehend.
Compassion and empathy have meaning.

But(,) (blind) faith flies planes into buildings,
(a)nd makes (believers) drink (death's) Kool-aid.
(I suggest changing 'us' to 'believers' because... that's really who you're referring to... not you, definitely not me, not 'us' but someone blinded by their faith. Also, replaced 'the' with the word 'death's' because the article 'the' felt like a space keeper... without adding meaning or emotion... and also because many will be too young to get the Georgetown kool-aid reference.)

There are no seventy(-)two virgins, no utopia.
No reward for being naïve.

(I still believe) faith, hope and love abide,
but one is an illusion.

Hope you may something in this review of some worth. Best of luck in the contest,
Christina

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2015

---

reply by the author on 04-Jun-2015

Wow - thank you, Christina, so much for all the effort you have put into critiquing my poem! I've only been on the site a couple of days, but in that time I have not received any other response nearly as detailed - it is *very* much appreciated.

As you appear to anticipate (and so did I prior to posting it), the response has been "mixed". I can't say that I'm not a tiny bit peeved when someone says they think it is really good work, then gives it a three because they don't happen to agree with the sentiments expressed - but I'm very quickly learning to get over that ;-) I'm here to learn and improve, not to earn the maximum votes; I don't see any point in being anything other than honest.

Apologies if this response is a bit long-winded, but given the effort you have put into to your review, I thought I should try and give a proper response. I'm going to print out your suggestions and review the poem. I'm certain I will adopt some (but not all) of your recommendations. Again, thanks so much for your kindness, and please feel free to review anything I post any time. I'm not certain if I'm at liberty to sign this, since the contest has not yet been decided, so I won't.... but thank you :-)

Comment from BlueMarble

Excellent

This is very well written and expresses your thoughts well. It reminds me of the words of Buddha when he told his followers to accept nothing on faith but pursue truth for yourself.

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2015

---

reply by the author on 04-Jun-2015

Many thanks for checking out my poem. The Buddha said some wise things! I expected mixed reviews for this (and that's turned out to be the case), but thank you for your encouraging words :-)

Comment from funmom03

Average

Good except I believe I'm Religious but Everyone Has their opinion to day how they feel . I feel it is an expression of the writers view life experiences . But it very well written . It is to the point

 Comment Written 03-Jun-2015

---

reply by the author on 03-Jun-2015

Thanks for your opinion, and for acknowledging that the work is ok, even though you disagree. It would be a strange world if we all thought the same :-)

Comment from sweetwoodjax

Excellent

this is an excellent write, cd Richards, you wrote an honest poem about your feelings about faith, great imagery presented throughout. I wish you the best of luck in theconnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj

 Comment Written 03-Jun-2015

---

reply by the author on 03-Jun-2015

Thank you for your kind words, and good wishes. All the best to you :-)

reply by sweetwoodjax on 03-Jun-2015

sorry about that, I went to sleep typing