Comment from amahra

Excellent

The art work is really stunning. It really helps tell the story. Loved the poem for its story and for the rhythm that was very steady and very musical. Great job.

 Comment Written 01-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 01-Mar-2015

Thank you for the encouraging review. I am pleased to hear you enjoyed the story and the rhythm. I appreciate you stopping by to read and review.

Comment from Drew Delaney

Excellent

This is an interesting view on this type of poem. I have never attempted the Trochee. Have a hard enough time working with the iambic pentameter. LOL

I love to write poetry but am sticking to writing a novel at present. I am enjoying it immensely. Middle 1850's or thereabouts. Takes so much time to earn the dollars . Keep up the great work on your poetry. Drew

 Comment Written 28-Feb-2015

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reply by the author on 28-Feb-2015

I will have to check out your novel. That is quite an undertaking. Thank you so much for a grew review. I appreciate the encouragement.

Comment from Ridley Williams

Excellent

Hi Debi,
Another great read! Loved the solid imagery in this piece. You design a wonderful setting in which the reader may indulge themselves. I especially liked the line, "What? scoffed Joe, "You think I'm scared?" That one brought a smile to my face.
Nice job with this chapter. You have a wonderful gift for telling a story in a poem, my friend...well done.
Take care, Bill

 Comment Written 28-Feb-2015

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reply by the author on 28-Feb-2015

You say such nice things about the writing, Bill. I am so glad you liked that line. I had something else there and replaced it at the last moment. It just seemed so much like something Joe would say. I appreciate your continued support. Debi

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

In my meter and rhyme class, I advised a student who was finding trochaic meter a challenge to read a prior chapter of this poem :-)
good abcbdb rhyming
the meter continues to be spot on
the story continues to be exciting :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 28-Feb-2015

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reply by the author on 28-Feb-2015

My goodness, Brooke, you have really brightened my day. That you would advise someone to read one of poems as a good example just thrills me. That is a wonderful compliment coming from my teacher. I think I will be smiling for hours.

Thank you also for the encouraging review on this chapter, too. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review. Debi
Still smiling.:)

Comment from donastell20

Excellent

I love this story that rhymes very well and flows throughout, but leaves us hanging at the end.

I really enjoyed reading it.

Thanks

 Comment Written 28-Feb-2015

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reply by the author on 28-Feb-2015

I am so happy to hear enjoyed reading this verse. Thank you for the kind and encouraging comments.

Comment from Mastery

Excellent

Hi, Deb. Wow! Where have you been? I missed you and your fine poetry. I enjoyed this one, immensely...so vivid the pictures you draw...I especially liked this stanza:

"Magic creatures stepped in closer.
Joe saw he was all alone.
Dragon jaws were snapping nearer.
Joe pulled out the crystal stone.
Seeking refuge, he spoke to it,
"Here is what I would be shown..."

Now...whatever happened to reviewing my writing? LOL...Bob

 Comment Written 28-Feb-2015

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reply by the author on 28-Feb-2015

Hi Bob. Well, I've been away for four months and just returned last week. Not to worry. I have you on my list of authors to catch up on. In fact I even pulled up the first chapter of your new novel a few days ago, but only read a few paragraphs because I had a visitor drop in. I just didn't get back to it yet. Sorry, I don't like staring a story in the middle so it may take a little while to catch up.

Thank you so much for the excellent review and kind comments about the writing. I am happy to hear you enjoyed reading it. It's nice to be missed, too. Debi

reply by Mastery on 01-Mar-2015

What a sweetheart you are. thanks so much, bob :)

Comment from michaelcahill

Excellent

Wow. Love this. Sorry to be so behind. Just sick and buried in real world stuff. I'll have to go back and get caught up on this. This flows beautifully and pulls me in right away. Love the meter as I naturally use trochaic and have to force myself to use iambic. So smooth considering a story is unfolding. Great imagery and the story line is crystal clear. I can usually find something to suggest. Here, I can only suggest, keep it up. mikey

 Comment Written 28-Feb-2015

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reply by the author on 28-Feb-2015

I've been away for four month and it looks like you have been very busy with your writing. It will take a while to catch up. I hope you feel better soon.

Thank you for the great review. It's nice to hear that someone else finds trochaic meter more natural. I too have to really work at iambic meter. You say such encouraging things. I appreciate it. Debi

Comment from jim lawler

Excellent

This is a very nice read. Its interesting and has potential; i look forward to the continuation of their exploits. I didn't see any typos and it needs no revision. Good luck Debi. Jimmy

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2015

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reply by the author on 28-Feb-2015

Thank you for the gracious comments, Jimmy. I am pleased to know you look forward to more. I appreciate the encouragement. Debi

Comment from Spitfire

Excellent

I can see those special effects if this prompted a movie.
Luke is married to Lily? I didn't expect that twist! A lot of action in this one. Trochee has a heavier sound which suits the events in this smooth read.

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2015

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reply by the author on 28-Feb-2015

Thank you for the great comments about the twist in the plot and the action. I love that you can picture the special effects. I appreciate you following the story. Debi

reply by Spitfire on 28-Feb-2015

My pleasure. :-)

Comment from Dean Kuch

Excellent

Yeah, that artwork from Angelheart was the perfect choice to compliment this fantastic piece, Debi.

Great assonance and consonance abound in your composition here. I loved the tempo and cadence; fast and furious just like the dragons of lore in your poem.

But yet again, the wily fearsome Joe has managed to escape Lily's clutches and has used the magic crystal stone to whisk himself away from the noble armies of the King and Queen.

Wonderfully written, so sorry I am out of sixes. I hope a virtual one will hold you over for now.

~Dean

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2015

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reply by the author on 28-Feb-2015

I agree with you about Angelheart's art. She is very talented.
Thank you so much for the virtual six, Dean. I appreciate it, along with the encouraging comments about the writing. Debi

reply by Dean Kuch on 01-Mar-2015

It was my pleasure, Debi. Anytime. ~DK