Comment from Neonewman

Excellent

Marie, Marie, Marie! You get that bastard. Alright, Jim, this is my favorite so far as the tension mounts. I have to say, I know it's not a comedy, but I couldn't help but laugh when Marie said, "What if I miss?" I was rolling over that. Lol.

I'll save the last chapter for tomorrow. I'm getting sleepy.
God bless, and great work, my friend.
Steve

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2025

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2025

I'm glad you saw the humor in that scene, Steve. I really pictured Marie making some ineffective swipes with the unfamiliar bat as Fran tried to coax her through some practice with it and thinking what are the chances this is going to work?

reply by Neonewman on 01-Apr-2025

Right! But a determined, protective grandmother will hit the target every time.

Comment from Ric Myworld

Excellent

Well, this is damn good writing as always, but why in the hell wouldn't Marie have been instructed to get out of there and call the police rather than swing a bat at a likely moving target in hopes of getting hold of a handcuff key? LOL. It's fun. But anytime you put women up to doing something new it can be a fiasco. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 29-Mar-2025

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reply by the author on 29-Mar-2025

Yes, that would have been more logical if they had enough time, but Fran wasn't at all confident Woody could revive Johnny in time. His condition was getting dire, and she alone knew how to revive him properly. Much more exciting this way, anyway for little Marie to be the hero :)

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

Granny Marie to the rescue. I could visualise this scene and the determination on Marie's face as she creeps up the stairs. A great chapter, Jim with the tensiom building up well. Well done, cheers
valda

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2025

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reply by the author on 28-Mar-2025

Thanks so much, valda. The jury is still out. Let's see if she can muster up enough strength to actually knock him out. Fran is doubtful.

Comment from Cecilia A Heiskary

Excellent

Jim,

This story is starting to get intense. I hope Marie is able to knock the guy out and get the keys. Hopefully Fran can get her cuffs off and go handle business.

Well done

Cecilia

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2025

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reply by the author on 28-Mar-2025

Thanks, Cecilia. A couple more chapters, then we can relax.

Comment from Wayne Fowler

Excellent

Must be deja vu. I could swear that I've already reviewed this chapter. I 'know' I've read it.
So, Marie will get to validate herself. And Fran will be spared embarrassment and possible dismissal.
Best wishes.

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2025

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reply by the author on 28-Mar-2025

They all run together here at the end. Although I've broken them up for FanStory, some of them are actually merged together in my own manuscript.

Did you notice how I changed from first person POV for the first 44 chapters (for 3 different characters) then switched to third person omniscient for the rest? It just made more sense to do it that way because of all the quick changes of POV. Writing in third person is new for me, and takes some getting used to, especially in working in internal thoughts which is easy in first person.

reply by Wayne Fowler on 28-Mar-2025

For the same reason, my 'No! Say It Ain't So!' switched to 3rd person (sometimes) late in the book. But no, I didn't notice. Prob'ly due to the FS format of a chapter every few days mingled with dozens of other reviewed works.

Comment from Pam Lonsdale

Excellent

I have to tell you, I'm not sure I could ever hit anyone in the head with anything. I'm getting chills just thinking about it now.

Marie has come a long way from the days when she looked down her nose at everyone, including her own daughter. She's one of my favorite characters that you have created, Jim.

You must be excited to be wrapping this up. Is something else already in the works?

See you over the weekend.

xo

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2025

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reply by the author on 28-Mar-2025

Thanks so much, Pam. She has certainly become my favorite character in this story too. It's been fun watching her evolve.

Yes, I'm excited about wrapping this up. I think I may have told you that the coming ending served to inspire another sequel to the story, which I've written a few chapters of, but in the process, I thought I would give myself and the readers a little break from this story, and I began conceiving of and writing another story that I will be presenting first.

It will be more a bit of fun and very different from anything I've done before. The genre will be magical realism (featuring a ghost) and it will be written in upmarket fashion which is kind of a cross between a literary and a commercial style of writing. It probably won't be for everyone, but I've had a blast writing it. It's about half done now and will be novella-length.

reply by Pam Lonsdale on 28-Mar-2025

reply by Pam Lonsdale on 28-Mar-2025

reply by Pam Lonsdale on 28-Mar-2025

Well, that sounds like fun!

Comment from Wendy G

Excellent

Oh Marie will be the heroine of this story! If she can fulfil her mission. Just as well the second guy wasn't monitoring the computer. Looking forward to the next chapters to see how this dangerous situation will end. fine writing - a pleasure to read.
Wendy

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2025

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reply by the author on 28-Mar-2025

Thanks so much, Wendy. Who would have thought little Marie might end up being the heroine? I have had such fun developing her character through the course of the story, and she has truly wended her own path because I never imagined her journey when I began writing the story.

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

An entertaining chapter Jim and a lot has happened since I last tuned in and there is much activity going on here as the kidnapping has become a life struggle for all involved, love Dolly x x x

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2025

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reply by the author on 28-Mar-2025

Thanks so much, Dolly. The tension level certainly ratcheted up due to Johnny's asthma attack, which added a great deal of immediacy to his rescue. No time to wait for backup to come. I hope you'll enjoy the last few chapters of this climax.

reply by Dolly'sPoems on 28-Mar-2025

Comment from forestport12

Excellent

Oh boy that sure is intense, gripping. And you leave it with her going up the stairs, who could easily strike out on her swings. It could cost her being in the line up and left in the dug out, if you know what I mean. You have an engaging style for sure. I can see why you are consistently nominated for book of the month.

 Comment Written 27-Mar-2025

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reply by the author on 28-Mar-2025

Let's hope she's not the spazz that Fran thinks she might be and hits a home run instead! Thanks very much for your kind words, Stan.

Comment from Carol Hillebrenner

Excellent

Marie decides to find out why they haven't brought out her grandson and enters the house. She finds Fran in handcuffs in the basement. Fran tells her how to use a baseball bat to get the handcuff key off the guy at the computer. Now, saving the day means Marie has to knock someone out with a baseball bat. Can she?

 Comment Written 27-Mar-2025

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reply by the author on 28-Mar-2025

Let's hope she isn't the complete spazz that Fran envisions and gets a decent hit! I don't think Fran has much hope in this plan.