Right in the Eye
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Right in the Eye, ch 23"The adventures and reaches of people with a divine
10 total reviews
Comment from BethShelby
I'm enjoyedf the continuing story of Ben and Sylvia as they sit back an watch God foul up their would ber killers. I'm glad the one who planned to blow them up, blew themselves us as well. Hopefully that the shooters with only hit dummies but will get arrested. I always enjoy your writing.
reply by the author on 17-May-2024
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I'm enjoyedf the continuing story of Ben and Sylvia as they sit back an watch God foul up their would ber killers. I'm glad the one who planned to blow them up, blew themselves us as well. Hopefully that the shooters with only hit dummies but will get arrested. I always enjoy your writing.
Comment Written 17-May-2024
reply by the author on 17-May-2024
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Thank you very much.
And that is very special coming from such an accomplished writer as yourself!
Comment from Jim Wile
Now we're getting right to it. Our four heroes have nothing to worry about with this gang that couldn't shoot straight on their heels. I'm looking forward to an enjoyable climax as this gang gets their just desserts.
reply by the author on 16-May-2024
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Now we're getting right to it. Our four heroes have nothing to worry about with this gang that couldn't shoot straight on their heels. I'm looking forward to an enjoyable climax as this gang gets their just desserts.
Comment Written 16-May-2024
reply by the author on 16-May-2024
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Thank you for your continued support.
Maybe a little surprise?
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
In search of fingers made me chuckle, but I can't imagine a professional news cast would word it that way, lol!
No need to tell us "as if saying maybe" if you're going to have him say maybe. Keep the eyes opening wide and just use the dialogue.
Ah, ready to settle in for the night makes me suspicious of what will happen next.
I see Ben and Sylvia like to hike, just like Wayne and his bride:-)
Can't wait to see what happens next!
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 15-May-2024
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In search of fingers made me chuckle, but I can't imagine a professional news cast would word it that way, lol!
No need to tell us "as if saying maybe" if you're going to have him say maybe. Keep the eyes opening wide and just use the dialogue.
Ah, ready to settle in for the night makes me suspicious of what will happen next.
I see Ben and Sylvia like to hike, just like Wayne and his bride:-)
Can't wait to see what happens next!
xo
Pam
Comment Written 15-May-2024
reply by the author on 15-May-2024
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Thank you.
I normally err on the side of being too brief, not too many words. Thanks for the pointer.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
God does work miracles because all four of them have survived attempts on their lives. They are also tough old birds if they can climb mountains at that elevation. The police seem to be trying to gang up on the bad guys.
reply by the author on 15-May-2024
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God does work miracles because all four of them have survived attempts on their lives. They are also tough old birds if they can climb mountains at that elevation. The police seem to be trying to gang up on the bad guys.
Comment Written 14-May-2024
reply by the author on 15-May-2024
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Thank you.
I think I probably should have said something about Ben acclimating to the elevation.
Comment from lyenochka
It's good that God is watching out for Ben as he just sat there waiting for the sniper to readjust his aim! I wasn't sure who made that remark - the sheriff or Sylvia. But I guess Ben addressed the sheriff. It's good the the dynamite never made it to Sylvia's house. But it's a good idea to give them a change of location!
reply by the author on 15-May-2024
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It's good that God is watching out for Ben as he just sat there waiting for the sniper to readjust his aim! I wasn't sure who made that remark - the sheriff or Sylvia. But I guess Ben addressed the sheriff. It's good the the dynamite never made it to Sylvia's house. But it's a good idea to give them a change of location!
Comment Written 14-May-2024
reply by the author on 15-May-2024
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Thank you. Yes, I had to get rid of the dynamite - way too dangerous (and too contrived if I had all the good guys unscathed).
Comment from Mintybee
This chapter is interesting and fast-paced. Ben's nonchalant faith is challenging and intriguing. The dynamite thing was resolved quickly, wasn't it?
Mintybee
reply by the author on 14-May-2024
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This chapter is interesting and fast-paced. Ben's nonchalant faith is challenging and intriguing. The dynamite thing was resolved quickly, wasn't it?
Mintybee
Comment Written 14-May-2024
reply by the author on 14-May-2024
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Thank you for your very kind review. Yes, the dynamite had to go - way too explosively damaging.(smiley face here)
Comment from Sally Law
Wayne, this is really great writing. I was drawn into the scene immediately. I like and appreciate you have God and faith in your story.
A few improvements for your consideration.
Gonna need to dig up your yucca," he said to Sylvia. Get those bullets." Add missing epeechmarks before Get.
"Gonna need to dig up your yucca," he said to Sylvia. "Get those bullets."
Typo: manikins: mannequins as in dummies.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal :))
reply by the author on 14-May-2024
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Wayne, this is really great writing. I was drawn into the scene immediately. I like and appreciate you have God and faith in your story.
A few improvements for your consideration.
Gonna need to dig up your yucca," he said to Sylvia. Get those bullets." Add missing epeechmarks before Get.
"Gonna need to dig up your yucca," he said to Sylvia. "Get those bullets."
Typo: manikins: mannequins as in dummies.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal :))
Comment Written 14-May-2024
reply by the author on 14-May-2024
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Thank you very much!
I'm sittin' here in total disbelief that I misspelled mannequins! I think I'll blame a FanStory gremlin. Goodness grief! (whatever that means)
smiley face here
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Most welcome! My pleasure. FanStory edit is inadequate for me. I have trouble all the time. Be blessed.
Sal :))
Comment from Wendy G
I am glad they are able to catch up with their friends after a fairly traumatic time with Ben being shot at. There's always a balance between putting God to the test for claiming protection, and using the common sense He granted us. I hope Ben and Sylvia can express both faith and wisdom. Well written chapter.
Wendy
reply by the author on 14-May-2024
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I am glad they are able to catch up with their friends after a fairly traumatic time with Ben being shot at. There's always a balance between putting God to the test for claiming protection, and using the common sense He granted us. I hope Ben and Sylvia can express both faith and wisdom. Well written chapter.
Wendy
Comment Written 14-May-2024
reply by the author on 14-May-2024
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Thank you very much.
That was the needle I tried to thread. (common sense - trusting in God's protective hand)
Comment from jim vecchio
The whole body of your work is a six, though I don't always have them. I have to say tht "Antlers Rio Grande" sounds like they type of place I used to talk my wife into staying at. One small concern: the machine gun paragraph: "Tommy guns?" "Tommy gins" sounds like something I used to drink at college.
reply by the author on 13-May-2024
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The whole body of your work is a six, though I don't always have them. I have to say tht "Antlers Rio Grande" sounds like they type of place I used to talk my wife into staying at. One small concern: the machine gun paragraph: "Tommy guns?" "Tommy gins" sounds like something I used to drink at college.
Comment Written 13-May-2024
reply by the author on 13-May-2024
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Hah! Thanks for the catch.
And for the terrific six!
Comment from royowen
As I once told my doctor, he deals in medical facts, but I believe the truth, I believe we were never meant to die unless God says so, our lives are in His hands, until He days come home, so Ben is right to be unafraid, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 13-May-2024
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As I once told my doctor, he deals in medical facts, but I believe the truth, I believe we were never meant to die unless God says so, our lives are in His hands, until He days come home, so Ben is right to be unafraid, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 13-May-2024
reply by the author on 13-May-2024
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Thank you for your very nice review.
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Most welcome
