A Particular Friendship
Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "Facing Myself"We meet Lizzy who has just come out of the convent
13 total reviews
Comment from Ric Myworld
My first interest in writing came late in life, after meeting Pulitzer Prize winning playwright, author, and academy award nominated actor, Sam Shepard, in the grocery store. I described the meeting in a short article and submitted it to the local newspaper which printed it, both firsts for me. Then weeks later, I ran into Shepard again in a nearby town, where I later learned he had a farm. Our meetings became regular and I was fascinated with his stories. He often said a writer's most valuable qualities are complete openness and honesty. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2024
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My first interest in writing came late in life, after meeting Pulitzer Prize winning playwright, author, and academy award nominated actor, Sam Shepard, in the grocery store. I described the meeting in a short article and submitted it to the local newspaper which printed it, both firsts for me. Then weeks later, I ran into Shepard again in a nearby town, where I later learned he had a farm. Our meetings became regular and I was fascinated with his stories. He often said a writer's most valuable qualities are complete openness and honesty. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2024
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Thank you for your involved review I appreciate it.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Could not have been much of a father if he had "driven out any self-confidence" you possessed.
Seems your father treated you as less than your siblings as demonstrated by the nickels and saying you were not making the grade in his book.
Wearing the small sweater shows how you appeared to try and fit in with the school crowd, as kids always want" to do.
"snooping in is dresser drawers" should be snooping in his dresser drawers.
You must have had a preference for white sweaters.
Tense change from past to present in "down the stairs and out of the house, skidding over..."
This sentence also feels clumsy. Maybe something like "down the stairs and out of the house." New sentence at {We} skidded over the bank {littered}... The sentences would read better.
"Trench Mouth" sounds disgusting.
"words smithing" should be wordsmithing.
Lying is never good and always carries consequences. Some more than one would rather face, especially if made to a partner. Using "adult children of alcoholics" not really an excuse for lying as "even when we do not have to" indicates one knows better than to lie.
The break-up is a typical result of lying in such relationships.
Facing one's own self can be eye-opening.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2024
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Could not have been much of a father if he had "driven out any self-confidence" you possessed.
Seems your father treated you as less than your siblings as demonstrated by the nickels and saying you were not making the grade in his book.
Wearing the small sweater shows how you appeared to try and fit in with the school crowd, as kids always want" to do.
"snooping in is dresser drawers" should be snooping in his dresser drawers.
You must have had a preference for white sweaters.
Tense change from past to present in "down the stairs and out of the house, skidding over..."
This sentence also feels clumsy. Maybe something like "down the stairs and out of the house." New sentence at {We} skidded over the bank {littered}... The sentences would read better.
"Trench Mouth" sounds disgusting.
"words smithing" should be wordsmithing.
Lying is never good and always carries consequences. Some more than one would rather face, especially if made to a partner. Using "adult children of alcoholics" not really an excuse for lying as "even when we do not have to" indicates one knows better than to lie.
The break-up is a typical result of lying in such relationships.
Facing one's own self can be eye-opening.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2024
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Thank you for your insightful review i will attend to your observations.
Comment from BethShelby
I think writing about your life is the best thing you can do. I've learned so much abouty myself I didn't realize by just getting it don't on paper ane doing the same.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
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I think writing about your life is the best thing you can do. I've learned so much abouty myself I didn't realize by just getting it don't on paper ane doing the same.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
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Thank you for your compassionate review. You are right It has been very therapeutic writing this. And as I've mentioned several times probably the fact that I wrote it over 20 years ago is really enlightening. I keep going "What? I don't remember that happening." I'm glad you are doing it too. Maybe we will encourage other people to delve into their stuff.
Comment from eliz100
This is another excellent chapter. The flow was great. You have become vulnerable. I admire that. I minimized my dad's drinking. I was married with three children. My Air Force husband was stationed in Germany. I went to my first and last Adult Children of alcoholics meeting. And I said the words, My father is an alcoholic. When I got home, I had unbelievable pain in my chest. I knew it was emotional.I struggle with my need to be a perfectionist tendencies and imt causes me to have writer's block. I admire what you are doing.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
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This is another excellent chapter. The flow was great. You have become vulnerable. I admire that. I minimized my dad's drinking. I was married with three children. My Air Force husband was stationed in Germany. I went to my first and last Adult Children of alcoholics meeting. And I said the words, My father is an alcoholic. When I got home, I had unbelievable pain in my chest. I knew it was emotional.I struggle with my need to be a perfectionist tendencies and imt causes me to have writer's block. I admire what you are doing.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
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Thank you for your vulnerable review. I went to an adult children meeting also, only once. What was interesting and amusing was to see that some of these adults were regressing to probably their childhood behaviors. The guy one sitting beside me was very raging.There was another one who wanted to be a comedian. There were two others who wanted to be like tricksters. Oh I said I've had enough of this.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I understand how hard this chapter was to write. I had a younger brother who I had to continually live up to. He was perfect at everything and never had to try. I had to work hard for everything. Today we are great friends but still he's a millionaire and my husband and I are comfortable but that's it. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
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I understand how hard this chapter was to write. I had a younger brother who I had to continually live up to. He was perfect at everything and never had to try. I had to work hard for everything. Today we are great friends but still he's a millionaire and my husband and I are comfortable but that's it. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
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Thank you for your vulnerable review. My brother also just got A's and he didn't even have to do anything. He probably did really well on the test and that raised his mark. I didn't ever see him doing any school work and I was plugging away every evening with my radio going to filter out my ADD and I still got mostly C's
Comment from Begin Again
Your honesty and baring your soul to the readers deserves a 6 or 7 at least. I give you virtual stars and praises.
I can relate to so much of your story. It was actually scary to know someone else faced the same things. Funny how we often put our emtoins in a box and think no one else has ever experienced the same thing.
My father never once told me he loved me or even held my hand. He wanted a boy and got me instead. Regardless of the straight A's or my success in business as I was older, not once would he tell me I did a good job. Instead, my brother (an alcoholic and cheat) was praised for the work they did together when he was 18.... even though he did nothing later in life.
When he died, my mother did her best to convince me that he loved me, but it was too large of a pill to swallow.
Enough about me...I am proud of you and your efforts to try and come to terms with your past. Keep up the good work.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
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Your honesty and baring your soul to the readers deserves a 6 or 7 at least. I give you virtual stars and praises.
I can relate to so much of your story. It was actually scary to know someone else faced the same things. Funny how we often put our emtoins in a box and think no one else has ever experienced the same thing.
My father never once told me he loved me or even held my hand. He wanted a boy and got me instead. Regardless of the straight A's or my success in business as I was older, not once would he tell me I did a good job. Instead, my brother (an alcoholic and cheat) was praised for the work they did together when he was 18.... even though he did nothing later in life.
When he died, my mother did her best to convince me that he loved me, but it was too large of a pill to swallow.
Enough about me...I am proud of you and your efforts to try and come to terms with your past. Keep up the good work.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment Written 24-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
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Thank you for your supportive, vulnerable review. Just the fact you were considering giving me six stars is plenty.I'm pleased that you were able to identify with and maybe heal from what I've written.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is an interesting story, although your father seems rather grim and no fun. My dad was wonderful, my mom not so much. You and your brother had a rivalry that matched me and my sister. The lying was something I was good at and am still trying to control. So happy to hear you succeeded at getting control of that part of your imagination.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
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This is an interesting story, although your father seems rather grim and no fun. My dad was wonderful, my mom not so much. You and your brother had a rivalry that matched me and my sister. The lying was something I was good at and am still trying to control. So happy to hear you succeeded at getting control of that part of your imagination.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
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Wow, this is excellent. So vulnerable. I'm so glad you can identify with what I'm saying, because I can identify with what you're saying. Thank you.
Comment from Debi Pick Marquette
Hi Liz, I know I came in the middle but wanted to see a little bit about you. At first I saw it said fiction but I kept reading and I could tell it was about your life.
I am so happy that I did as I see a little bit of your vulnerable side and I was humbled myself by your honesty. When I have a little bit more time I would like to go back and keep reading as I can tell you had a remarkable life, whether in good times or bad.
As you said in your notes, I could already see that this was a difficult chapter to write and my approval rating of my friend who I already think so much of, has just shot up a lot. You made a mistake with your partner and you owned up to it, but we all make them and you are amazing how you own it.
I will be able to see more about you and your parents as I start from the beginning and read through the other chapters, but for now it seems that you were not given the love and understanding and encouragement that the others were given. I may be wrong about some of it so I won't even try to guess, but just know that I totally enjoyed what I saw so far.
God bless you, my friend for your bravery to write about the hard times as I just did in my last poem called "The Past is in the Past." So my feelings are still kinda raw after that, so I completely understand your notes.
Thanks so much, Liz. Once again, you are amazing. If not before, I will see you in next week. Please accept my virtual six!! Love, Debi
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
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Hi Liz, I know I came in the middle but wanted to see a little bit about you. At first I saw it said fiction but I kept reading and I could tell it was about your life.
I am so happy that I did as I see a little bit of your vulnerable side and I was humbled myself by your honesty. When I have a little bit more time I would like to go back and keep reading as I can tell you had a remarkable life, whether in good times or bad.
As you said in your notes, I could already see that this was a difficult chapter to write and my approval rating of my friend who I already think so much of, has just shot up a lot. You made a mistake with your partner and you owned up to it, but we all make them and you are amazing how you own it.
I will be able to see more about you and your parents as I start from the beginning and read through the other chapters, but for now it seems that you were not given the love and understanding and encouragement that the others were given. I may be wrong about some of it so I won't even try to guess, but just know that I totally enjoyed what I saw so far.
God bless you, my friend for your bravery to write about the hard times as I just did in my last poem called "The Past is in the Past." So my feelings are still kinda raw after that, so I completely understand your notes.
Thanks so much, Liz. Once again, you are amazing. If not before, I will see you in next week. Please accept my virtual six!! Love, Debi
Comment Written 24-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
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Thank you for your incredible review. Thank you for being vulnerable yourself. Also thank you for telling me that I did not fix the fiction phrase. I've had to go back and fix all of them.
Comment from lyenochka
That is really powerful. It is good to "face oneself" and that I something we need to keep working on all our lives. It takes a humility that most people don't have - like your father, to realize that there is a need to change and to understand what we can accept and can't.
snooping in is dresser drawers (his?)
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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That is really powerful. It is good to "face oneself" and that I something we need to keep working on all our lives. It takes a humility that most people don't have - like your father, to realize that there is a need to change and to understand what we can accept and can't.
snooping in is dresser drawers (his?)
Comment Written 23-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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Thank you for your delightful review. Near
Comment from LateBloomer
Hi Liz, it's been a long time coming, but I think that you are where you want to be in life or you are comfortable with who you are. Your story is well told. Your relationship with your brother was different than mine with my brothers. They were protectors to me and my sister. I have shared with you that my father was an alcoholic. I never had issues with lying--perhaps, because my mother packed us up and left by the time that I was 7--but my older brother who took many brutal beatings and had to lie why he had bruises, etc. has done his share of lying, along with my sister.
Of special note:
But my problem was my mother lied to me all of the time. I just could not tolerate your lying to me."
(Your loss was heavy, and so was her loss. However, in the process, some deep wounds were healed, and the two of you will always be connected, albeit your apart. Shared history bonds people forevermore.)
Liz, your story is well told. Today, you wrote something brave. I salute you. Margaret
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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Hi Liz, it's been a long time coming, but I think that you are where you want to be in life or you are comfortable with who you are. Your story is well told. Your relationship with your brother was different than mine with my brothers. They were protectors to me and my sister. I have shared with you that my father was an alcoholic. I never had issues with lying--perhaps, because my mother packed us up and left by the time that I was 7--but my older brother who took many brutal beatings and had to lie why he had bruises, etc. has done his share of lying, along with my sister.
Of special note:
But my problem was my mother lied to me all of the time. I just could not tolerate your lying to me."
(Your loss was heavy, and so was her loss. However, in the process, some deep wounds were healed, and the two of you will always be connected, albeit your apart. Shared history bonds people forevermore.)
Liz, your story is well told. Today, you wrote something brave. I salute you. Margaret
Comment Written 23-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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Thank you for your lovely supportive review. My partner past from a botched surgery, about 5 years after we split. Bea part two is really about her and her puppies. She was still alive and I told her I had dedicated the book to her.
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Liz, I'm sorry that she has passed, but she knew that you dedicated your book to her. I am sure that she was honored. M
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She was, she was quite tickled. She even gave me a few ideas. Very cool. Every once in a while I smell cigarette smoke. She was a chain smoker along with my mother. So when I smell smoke in one area I know it's her. The smell from my mother is different.
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My mother was also a chain smoker. She has passed. One night during the summer when I had the window open, cigarette smoked drifted into the family room. Our neighbors are spread wide, so I didn't feel it was from them. I just felt it was Mom visiting me. Thanks for sharing. M
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See the same thing. I live up in the woods. There's nobody be smoking the cigarette around me. So cool