Krasner Christmas
Happy Holidays!21 total reviews
Comment from Malcolm Rothery
Oh god, thank you for that. Best laugh I've had in ages. Uncle Lenny nearly had me rolling on the floor! There's not enough humour on FanStory - too many serious folks and way too many serious prompts. I can not see any issues with grammar or dialogue either, It looks and reads pretty damn perfect. If this does not win the contest then I would see a lawyer.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2022
  |
Oh god, thank you for that. Best laugh I've had in ages. Uncle Lenny nearly had me rolling on the floor! There's not enough humour on FanStory - too many serious folks and way too many serious prompts. I can not see any issues with grammar or dialogue either, It looks and reads pretty damn perfect. If this does not win the contest then I would see a lawyer.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2022
-
Crashed and burnt! I'm a 21st Century Humorist in a stern and serious world.
Comment from jmdg1954
I did laugh the whole way through while I was reading this.
I cracked up with the seventy-three monthly payments snd a balloon payment for the funeral, and the bit on the seven grandchildren.
Very enjoyable read. Nice flow. John
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2022
 |
I did laugh the whole way through while I was reading this.
I cracked up with the seventy-three monthly payments snd a balloon payment for the funeral, and the bit on the seven grandchildren.
Very enjoyable read. Nice flow. John
Comment Written 10-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2022
-
Good times! I thought it would do better.
Comment from LJbutterfly
I enjoyed reading your really humorous Christmas Newsletter. The funniest parts to me were, seventeen accounts on FanStory, and Uncle Lenny's drug journey, which sounded like a piece for a stand-up comedy act. I see why you laughed while writing this. It was well thought out.
Suggestion for improvement: Writing instructors recommend NOT using the word "that" unnecessarily. It doesn't add to your story. Read each of your sentences without the word "that." The meaning will be the same.
The cops weren't willing to listen to anything THAT he had to say.
The officer THAT Butchy punched in the face...
I would be remiss if I didn't mention THAT I was winning
Not to mention THAT Helen lost her job
We still have that giant red and white tent THAT we bought
a fella named Tom, discovered THAT I had set up seventeen
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2022
|
I enjoyed reading your really humorous Christmas Newsletter. The funniest parts to me were, seventeen accounts on FanStory, and Uncle Lenny's drug journey, which sounded like a piece for a stand-up comedy act. I see why you laughed while writing this. It was well thought out.
Suggestion for improvement: Writing instructors recommend NOT using the word "that" unnecessarily. It doesn't add to your story. Read each of your sentences without the word "that." The meaning will be the same.
The cops weren't willing to listen to anything THAT he had to say.
The officer THAT Butchy punched in the face...
I would be remiss if I didn't mention THAT I was winning
Not to mention THAT Helen lost her job
We still have that giant red and white tent THAT we bought
a fella named Tom, discovered THAT I had set up seventeen
Comment Written 10-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2022
-
Thanks for the assistance. Maybe that it was this sin't do well? Regardless, made people laugh!
Comment from royowen
What a wonderfully funny post, your friends, must have generously donated this very well written and Christmassy post, gathering the family around and reporting on their criminal prosperity. Beautifully written my friend Douglas, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2022
|
What a wonderfully funny post, your friends, must have generously donated this very well written and Christmassy post, gathering the family around and reporting on their criminal prosperity. Beautifully written my friend Douglas, blessings Roy
Comment Written 10-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2022
-
Thanks for your wonderful review my friend!
-
Most welcome
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is hilarious Douglas and I am doubled up laughing at your inventive post. These families really do exist as they think there is no harm in their behaviour and I have met some of them in a professional capacity! I loved the humour here and I was entertained, I wish I had a six for you, I just love the sarcasm, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2022
|
This is hilarious Douglas and I am doubled up laughing at your inventive post. These families really do exist as they think there is no harm in their behaviour and I have met some of them in a professional capacity! I loved the humour here and I was entertained, I wish I had a six for you, I just love the sarcasm, love Dolly x
Comment Written 10-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2022
-
Thank you Miss Dolly! It didnt do well in the contest but the reviews were spectacular. That makes me happy!
-
It should have been a winner, but the best post does not always win Douglas, love Dolly x
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Seventeen voting accounts.... hmmmmm.
Hmmmm. I always wondered why while in the hospital I woke up with a nice stiffy. Now, maybe I know.
At least Butchy is where he can make some nice friends.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2022
|
Seventeen voting accounts.... hmmmmm.
Hmmmm. I always wondered why while in the hospital I woke up with a nice stiffy. Now, maybe I know.
At least Butchy is where he can make some nice friends.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2022
-
Great review my friend! Too funny. I thought this would do better but you just never know with so many great writers in FS. Still funny!
Comment from Thomas Blanks
"Nicely done, worthy adversary," as Mayor Adam West used to say on Family Guy. I want to give you a tip. You can take it or leave it. I got it from Comedian George Wallace, who said, "Consonants are funny! End your punch line with consonants."
In your story, you have the line, "Besides, he is planning to pay for the two bullet holes that he put into the ceiling at Applebee's." It is funnier with consonant sounds...
"Besides, he is planning to pay for the two bullet holes that he put into the ceiling at Burger King." It gives it a little punch. --- As I said, take it or leave it.
Regards,
Thomas
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2022
|
"Nicely done, worthy adversary," as Mayor Adam West used to say on Family Guy. I want to give you a tip. You can take it or leave it. I got it from Comedian George Wallace, who said, "Consonants are funny! End your punch line with consonants."
In your story, you have the line, "Besides, he is planning to pay for the two bullet holes that he put into the ceiling at Applebee's." It is funnier with consonant sounds...
"Besides, he is planning to pay for the two bullet holes that he put into the ceiling at Burger King." It gives it a little punch. --- As I said, take it or leave it.
Regards,
Thomas
Comment Written 07-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2022
-
I like it! Your advice is always solid. Applebees is an inside family joke because my real life cousin did actually put two rounds through the ceiling at one, but that is a story for another time. Not sure how worthy of an adversary I am. Last time I checked, I was getting spanked. That's the problem with Fanstory. Way too many extremely talented authors in the mix! Ha! Good times. As always, Thomas, I appreciate you!
Comment from Faith Williams
Oh my goodness, where to start indeed? I don't think you're crazy, I mean what's the point of writing fiction if you can't have some fun with it, right?
Just one correction: 'The people on that site (we're) really eating up' should be 'were.' Thanks for sharing, and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2022
|
Oh my goodness, where to start indeed? I don't think you're crazy, I mean what's the point of writing fiction if you can't have some fun with it, right?
Just one correction: 'The people on that site (we're) really eating up' should be 'were.' Thanks for sharing, and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2022
-
Thank you so much! Maybe that's why I am getting my butt kicked. people don't like errors!
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Haha what a fun newsletter, Douglas. I laughed all the way
through it. You certainly know how to write funny events
without really making fun of anyone. Each 'thing' was well
expressed. You did a great job with the drugs to alcohol
vicious circle of getting off one to depending on another one.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes in the contest, Jan
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2022
|
Haha what a fun newsletter, Douglas. I laughed all the way
through it. You certainly know how to write funny events
without really making fun of anyone. Each 'thing' was well
expressed. You did a great job with the drugs to alcohol
vicious circle of getting off one to depending on another one.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes in the contest, Jan
Comment Written 07-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2022
-
Yeah, I?m surprised that it?s not doing well. Everybody that reads it laughs. You just never can tell in these vote-a-thons!
Comment from Mary Shifman
I love your letter. I enjoy things that make me laugh since I need all the humor I can get these days. The antics you mention in the letter were great. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2022
|
I love your letter. I enjoy things that make me laugh since I need all the humor I can get these days. The antics you mention in the letter were great. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2022
-
Thanks. Looks like not all of us share the same sense of humor. Glad you got it! I?m sure I?ll do better in the next contest!
-
We are competing against a lot of very talented people so it's not a matter of whether a piece is good or bad. It's more like good and better. For me, it's always a shot in the dark because I never know if I've got a winner or not. I've posted things I thought were my best work and nothing came of it. It's a good thing we write for the joy of it, don't you think?
