One Thousand Cranes
Viewing comments for Chapter 90 "Golden Fields of Barley"Gypsy's Favorites
11 total reviews
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi Gypsy,
this hit home in a big way. The refrain used echoed perfectly the small child still wracked in pain and turmoil.
What a harrowing, yet too familiar scene playing out... no, screaming out.
I found myself just staring at certain verses and not being able to go on past that... rereading it, absorbing it, feeling it!
And then I think of all the other stories that may have been attached to this one... not only the protagonist.
I then think about the little girl trapped inside the adult still trying to regain a sense of self... the little girl still crying and scared.
Okay, this hit way too close for comfort. I have been thinking of writing a little piece about my own personal journey... and I can't speak for my wife, but I feel hers is much worse harrowing story than my own experience.
I got to a point where I knew the little damaged me was still trapped inside a much bigger and conscious body. I knew it was time for that conscious me to go back and still this little boys mind and guilt, for no one else can do it. No amount of sorries, no admission of guilt... just the two parts of one's self. One a much older, wiser, compassionate, more conscious being, and the other.. the trapped little mind that could never have comprehended what the consequences of such and act could, or would produce.
I've worked hard and long on myself to make sense of at lot of my early dysfunctional self, and have knocked walls down one-by-one to reveal the existence of dis-ease within my soul. Talk about a long a drawn out process and sometimes with truly mind-blowing amazing results. A process well worth it to a learning of not only accepting the fact, but releasing the little mind, letting the child perpetrated against that it is no fault of themselves, no matter the circumstances that put them in such a vulnerable situation.
This write is brilliant, and the more light shed on child abuse and the effects of, are something that can do nothing but stick in the minds of everyone who read it... including those who prey on innocence.
I don't know what else to say... this blew my mind. You have such a way and creative articulation that this, is one of those writes that sits front and centre smacking you in the face as it stumbles, pauses, and soaks into your soul all the way down the page, and right to its haunting end.
'Where is my innocence now...
Maybe, in golden fields of barley.'
Thanking you for with love in my heart in sharing this hard-hitting Ubi sunt poem... kudos!
With our thoughts we create...
a safe place.
Kindest regards,
James.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2022
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Hi Gypsy,
this hit home in a big way. The refrain used echoed perfectly the small child still wracked in pain and turmoil.
What a harrowing, yet too familiar scene playing out... no, screaming out.
I found myself just staring at certain verses and not being able to go on past that... rereading it, absorbing it, feeling it!
And then I think of all the other stories that may have been attached to this one... not only the protagonist.
I then think about the little girl trapped inside the adult still trying to regain a sense of self... the little girl still crying and scared.
Okay, this hit way too close for comfort. I have been thinking of writing a little piece about my own personal journey... and I can't speak for my wife, but I feel hers is much worse harrowing story than my own experience.
I got to a point where I knew the little damaged me was still trapped inside a much bigger and conscious body. I knew it was time for that conscious me to go back and still this little boys mind and guilt, for no one else can do it. No amount of sorries, no admission of guilt... just the two parts of one's self. One a much older, wiser, compassionate, more conscious being, and the other.. the trapped little mind that could never have comprehended what the consequences of such and act could, or would produce.
I've worked hard and long on myself to make sense of at lot of my early dysfunctional self, and have knocked walls down one-by-one to reveal the existence of dis-ease within my soul. Talk about a long a drawn out process and sometimes with truly mind-blowing amazing results. A process well worth it to a learning of not only accepting the fact, but releasing the little mind, letting the child perpetrated against that it is no fault of themselves, no matter the circumstances that put them in such a vulnerable situation.
This write is brilliant, and the more light shed on child abuse and the effects of, are something that can do nothing but stick in the minds of everyone who read it... including those who prey on innocence.
I don't know what else to say... this blew my mind. You have such a way and creative articulation that this, is one of those writes that sits front and centre smacking you in the face as it stumbles, pauses, and soaks into your soul all the way down the page, and right to its haunting end.
'Where is my innocence now...
Maybe, in golden fields of barley.'
Thanking you for with love in my heart in sharing this hard-hitting Ubi sunt poem... kudos!
With our thoughts we create...
a safe place.
Kindest regards,
James.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2022
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James, thank you for the most beautiful honest review I could ever get. I really appreciate the six stars very much but even more you sharing your own story and all the kind words and deep understanding.
Most people like us attract the same kind. It turned out to be good for you but for me didn't. My ex-husband was molested as a child too and is not able to maintain a long term relationship. I thought he was the one for me. I was so in love, and I still am but it's over between us.
I'm in therapy now because memories that I suppressed for years are surfacing to the top. For me, writing helps me a lot.
Thank you, James,
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason." -- Novalis
Comment from Carolyn Dooley
Children who are abused feel as if they are the guilty ones. They feel like they are bad. They are afraid to tell anyone, fearing no one will believe them. Or they are afraid of the abuser. Thank you for sharing. This is a great awareness post. It is a shame children, how many children have been or are being abused.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Children who are abused feel as if they are the guilty ones. They feel like they are bad. They are afraid to tell anyone, fearing no one will believe them. Or they are afraid of the abuser. Thank you for sharing. This is a great awareness post. It is a shame children, how many children have been or are being abused.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Thank you very much for your time and kind review and helpfull feedback.
Gypsy
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You are welcome.
Comment from aryr
This was a wonderful UBI SUNT POEM, Gypsy. I loved the picture. As I read your words I realize the anger, the defeat portrayed in this. You did very well with this and it was greatly enjoyed. Blessed be n hugs!
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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This was a wonderful UBI SUNT POEM, Gypsy. I loved the picture. As I read your words I realize the anger, the defeat portrayed in this. You did very well with this and it was greatly enjoyed. Blessed be n hugs!
Comment Written 09-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Aryr,
Thank you very much. <3 blessed be. And hugs too.
Gypsy
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Most welcome, Gypsy. Blessed be n hugs!
Comment from R.B.Bunn
This was a harrowing read. The repeated words at the end of each verse really give a dropping sensation while reading. The last two lines are really a gut punch after reading everything else. Thanks for sharing this piece, a very sobering experience.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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This was a harrowing read. The repeated words at the end of each verse really give a dropping sensation while reading. The last two lines are really a gut punch after reading everything else. Thanks for sharing this piece, a very sobering experience.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Thank you very much for your time and kind review and helpfull feedback.
Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." --Atticus
Comment from Mike Stevens
Another fine poem, Gypsy----and about a sickening topic that unfortunetly is more comman than most would like to believe. Just another example of mankind's depravity
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Another fine poem, Gypsy----and about a sickening topic that unfortunetly is more comman than most would like to believe. Just another example of mankind's depravity
Comment Written 09-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Thank you very much for your time and kind review and helpfull feedback.
Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." --Atticus
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
There is a great deal of sadness in this poem as their is guilt of regret riddled throughout and it sounds a very personal write, nostalgia mixed with regret, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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There is a great deal of sadness in this poem as their is guilt of regret riddled throughout and it sounds a very personal write, nostalgia mixed with regret, love Dolly x
Comment Written 09-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Thank you very much for your time and kind review and helpfull feedback.
Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." --Atticus
Comment from royowen
This is a most disturbing poem, but a brilliant one, an incredibly well written poem, but because I don't know the story, it's a little abstract, beautifully written Gypsy, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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This is a most disturbing poem, but a brilliant one, an incredibly well written poem, but because I don't know the story, it's a little abstract, beautifully written Gypsy, blessings Roy
Comment Written 09-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Thank you very much for your time and kind review and helpfull feedback.
Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." --Atticus
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Most welcome
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Wow! Gypsy, this is powerful! I read it as it went down, down, down, and found that the truth you relived was in reality your own! At least, that is what I am picking up from your poem. This is a reality at its most nitty gritty dirt level! I feel for you and can relate as well.
I was molested when I was five by my oldest sister and I didn't tell a soul until adulthood.
By then it was too late for me but I grew up and moved away and found myself thankfully.
I feel you are searching too, are you?
Thank goodness we have FS to spill our guts and write how we feel!
Thank you for sharing and for letting me share as well.
Take good care of yourself, my friend!
Jesse
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Wow! Gypsy, this is powerful! I read it as it went down, down, down, and found that the truth you relived was in reality your own! At least, that is what I am picking up from your poem. This is a reality at its most nitty gritty dirt level! I feel for you and can relate as well.
I was molested when I was five by my oldest sister and I didn't tell a soul until adulthood.
By then it was too late for me but I grew up and moved away and found myself thankfully.
I feel you are searching too, are you?
Thank goodness we have FS to spill our guts and write how we feel!
Thank you for sharing and for letting me share as well.
Take good care of yourself, my friend!
Jesse
Comment Written 09-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Yes, Jessi, this happened to me, only a couple know it's real. I'm in therapy know and started to talk about it. My memories have been buried so deep I only remember parts of it and the fear I felt and also the shame. It has affected all my relationships. Thank you for sharing for the excellent review and for your kind words.
Extra Gypsy hugs xoxox
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Hello Gypsy!
Yes, memories that are bad tend to bury themselves deep in our subconscious.
Thanks for your honesty and integrity,
my friend!
Mine affected all of my relationships too until I worked through them in therapy.
Thanks for sharing and caring,
Jesse
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:)
Comment from lyenochka
Such a painful reality of many children. Because of their innocence and weakness, wicked and twisted men took advantage of them. And some were even priests and pastors. Some were their own fathers.
Thanks for alerting people of this sad reality and the need to protect chilren.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Such a painful reality of many children. Because of their innocence and weakness, wicked and twisted men took advantage of them. And some were even priests and pastors. Some were their own fathers.
Thanks for alerting people of this sad reality and the need to protect chilren.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Yes, it's so awful. Abuse is always sad but even more when it's a child.
Thank you very much, Helen. Have a wonderful weekend, hugs and kisses
MariVal
Comment from leather
This is a poignant and sad poem, but the sentiments, I'm sure, are too real for many children. The format is unfamiliar, but it catches on quickly after the first few verses.
Did you mean these words, in the last line, "in goden fields" or 'in golden fields?'
Best wishes.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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This is a poignant and sad poem, but the sentiments, I'm sure, are too real for many children. The format is unfamiliar, but it catches on quickly after the first few verses.
Did you mean these words, in the last line, "in goden fields" or 'in golden fields?'
Best wishes.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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Thank you very much for taking the time to read and review my poem. I appreciate your helpful feedback.... I corrected golden.... thanks!