One Thousand Cranes
Viewing comments for Chapter 48 "Empty Promises"Gypsy's Favorites
13 total reviews
Comment from Mark Schardine
She has no choice but to throw away not only the ring, but also her hopes for a happy life, and also the kind-heartedness with which she would have gladly led her life.
reply by the author on 24-May-2022
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She has no choice but to throw away not only the ring, but also her hopes for a happy life, and also the kind-heartedness with which she would have gladly led her life.
Comment Written 23-May-2022
reply by the author on 24-May-2022
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Thank you very much for your exceptional review. Hugs.
Gypsy Blue Rose
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
Comment from AP Apgar
Interesting type of poetry- using one line- not sure I understand the benefits of stating the title of the poem twice? Poem in one line makes a simple point- good use of tying the rings - gold and water together- rings - intended promise - to last forever- good job
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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Interesting type of poetry- using one line- not sure I understand the benefits of stating the title of the poem twice? Poem in one line makes a simple point- good use of tying the rings - gold and water together- rings - intended promise - to last forever- good job
Comment Written 21-May-2022
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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Monostich is a poem that is only one line. The title often plays an important part in the poem since the poem itself is so short.
Thank you, AP :)
Gypsy Blue Rose
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." Atticus
Comment from Cindy Decker 2
Gypsy, this is an awesome monostitch poem! The imagery is fantastic, and your irony in using "eternity" is great.
Nice work, Gypsy. Good luck with all of your work,
Cindy
reply by the author on 20-May-2022
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Gypsy, this is an awesome monostitch poem! The imagery is fantastic, and your irony in using "eternity" is great.
Nice work, Gypsy. Good luck with all of your work,
Cindy
Comment Written 20-May-2022
reply by the author on 20-May-2022
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Thank you very much for your time and kind review, Cindy :) have a great weekend.
Gypsy Blue Rose
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
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You?re welcome. You too gypsy. (Great weekend)
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello Gypsy, very good. Your message is clear. Good allitertion between the water ripples and eternity. Well chosen photo. A pleasure to read. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck.
reply by the author on 20-May-2022
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Hello Gypsy, very good. Your message is clear. Good allitertion between the water ripples and eternity. Well chosen photo. A pleasure to read. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck.
Comment Written 20-May-2022
reply by the author on 20-May-2022
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Hello, LB, it's so good to hear from you. I hope all is well. Thank you very much for taking the time to read and review my poem.
Gypsy Blue Rose
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." Atticus
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Thanks, Gypsy. I love the quote. I'm going to put it on my profile page.
LateBloomer ~ Margaret
Comment from aryr
Good luck wishes regarding the One Line Poem contest, Gypsy. The picture was utterly priceless and your words showed the compassion, the fear and the anger. Blessed be n hugs!
reply by the author on 20-May-2022
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Good luck wishes regarding the One Line Poem contest, Gypsy. The picture was utterly priceless and your words showed the compassion, the fear and the anger. Blessed be n hugs!
Comment Written 20-May-2022
reply by the author on 20-May-2022
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Hello, Aryr, thank you very much for taking the time to read and review my poem.
Gypsy Blue Rose
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." Atticus
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Most welcome, Gypsy, Blessed be n hugs!
Comment from juliaSjames
Clever play on words in this oneliner, Gypsy. The ring, symbol of eternal bond between husband and wife, is gone. The relationship has dissolved. But the ripples of heartache and pain will continue to spread and affect those involved.
I'm wondering if "band of gold" is more evocative? I think it heightens the contrast with "water rings".
In any event it's a brilliant poem. I'm always challenged by length in these writes. But you've compressed a lot of emotion and backstory in just a few words including the title.
Good luck in the contest
Stay safe and blessed
Julia
reply by the author on 20-May-2022
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Clever play on words in this oneliner, Gypsy. The ring, symbol of eternal bond between husband and wife, is gone. The relationship has dissolved. But the ripples of heartache and pain will continue to spread and affect those involved.
I'm wondering if "band of gold" is more evocative? I think it heightens the contrast with "water rings".
In any event it's a brilliant poem. I'm always challenged by length in these writes. But you've compressed a lot of emotion and backstory in just a few words including the title.
Good luck in the contest
Stay safe and blessed
Julia
Comment Written 20-May-2022
reply by the author on 20-May-2022
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Hello, Julia, it's so good to hear from you. I hope all is well. Thank you very much for taking the time to read and review my poem. I changed the marriage band, thank you.
Gypsy Blue Rose
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." Atticus
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I like it Gypsy. The artwork is awesome. I think this will be a contender.
Hugs, Julia
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Thank you ♡
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:-))
Comment from Mike Stevens
Another excellent poem, Gypsy----such fine descriptive words you've penned----that is a rare talent indeed. I try, but I'm afraid I'm a meat and potatoes writer in a filet min yon world!
reply by the author on 20-May-2022
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Another excellent poem, Gypsy----such fine descriptive words you've penned----that is a rare talent indeed. I try, but I'm afraid I'm a meat and potatoes writer in a filet min yon world!
Comment Written 20-May-2022
reply by the author on 20-May-2022
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Hello, Mike, it's so good to hear from you. I hope all is well. Thank you very much for taking the time to read and review my poem.
Gypsy Blue Rose
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." Atticus
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And I wait a thought unthunk--lame!
Comment from lyenochka
I like the echo of the "marriage bands" which are "rings" making "water rings that ripple into eternity." The marriage love commitment was supposed to be for eternity but instead it's the ripples of the final ending of the relationship that ripples on. Sad but a reality for many.
reply by the author on 20-May-2022
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I like the echo of the "marriage bands" which are "rings" making "water rings that ripple into eternity." The marriage love commitment was supposed to be for eternity but instead it's the ripples of the final ending of the relationship that ripples on. Sad but a reality for many.
Comment Written 20-May-2022
reply by the author on 20-May-2022
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Yes! you got it, Helen :)
Thank you very much for reading and reviewing my poem. I appreciate your feedback and kind words.
Gypsy Blue Rose
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." Atticus
Comment from karenina
Great monostitch! Live how your title leads right in to the deeper meaning of the poem. At least the water rings ripple into eternity...
The vows? Not so much...
Karenina
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
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Great monostitch! Live how your title leads right in to the deeper meaning of the poem. At least the water rings ripple into eternity...
The vows? Not so much...
Karenina
Comment Written 19-May-2022
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
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Hello, Karenina,
Thank you very much for the excellent review and kind feedback. Hugs!
Gypsy
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Welcome! Love those ripples!
Comment from LisaMay
Broken Promises/Broken Vows - does this need to be consistent?
The circle of eternity in a wedding ring, water ripples emanating from the discarded ring, and the prospect of eternal consequences are wrapped up nicely in your brief words. The centred presentation has visual appeal.
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
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Broken Promises/Broken Vows - does this need to be consistent?
The circle of eternity in a wedding ring, water ripples emanating from the discarded ring, and the prospect of eternal consequences are wrapped up nicely in your brief words. The centred presentation has visual appeal.
Comment Written 19-May-2022
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
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Hello, Lisa, the monostich rules state the title is an important part of the poem. It should provide more understanding.
Thank you very much for the excellent review and feedback.
Gypsy
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So which is the title - Broken Promises or Broken Vows? they mean the same thing.
