Simple DIY Guide to Hypochondria
How to Care For and Feed Your Hypochondriac38 total reviews
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Congrats on this being the Number One rated for March. Well written, it deserved the recognition. Normally, I do not read Covid stuff, but do agree everyone needs to do whatever they can to help combat this ailment.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2021
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Congrats on this being the Number One rated for March. Well written, it deserved the recognition. Normally, I do not read Covid stuff, but do agree everyone needs to do whatever they can to help combat this ailment.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2021
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Thank you so much, Brett. Yeah, I know what you mean about the spate of Covid writings. I'm glad you overrode your better intentions and read this. It means a lot to me.
Comment from Father Flaps
Hey Jay,
So, you're all done being a pin cushion, eh? Good for you. I like the way you compared the ordeal of staying awake while on guard duty to keeping vigil for possible side effects of the vaccine. Yet all the while, sleep is an enemy. While on guard duty, if you fall asleep, a perpetrator may sneak in and kill you or one of your buddies. Or, your commander may catch you snoozing, and you'll find yourself locked up for 30 days... or hanged for abandoning your duty. Meanwhile, in bed, present day, you dread falling asleep because side effects of the vaccination may close off your windpipe. You might never wake up. You might be dead. Either way, sleep is the real enemy.
I have the very same problem. I'm lucky to get 5 hours of sleep. And even then, it's probably interrupted. The only time I ever remember getting more than 8 hours was back in the 80's. I took the fam' to Prince Edward Island, to Adams Seaview Cottages in Darnley. I had started a book days before... forget the name, but it was about the lone survivor of a plane crash. I was right into it. And one night, I was reading and fell asleep. My wife must have turned off the light at some point. Maybe it was the salty breeze coming in the window. Maybe it was just exhaustion from a 4-hour drive. I don't know. But I woke up to sunshine, blue skies, and the voices of kids playing outside on the lawn. It was heading for 10am. And I felt so refreshed! I've never had another sleep like that in 35 years!
I enjoyed the part where your family was checking up on you, making sure you were still in the land of the living.
I often choke on a drink, sometimes food, in my old age. It's like I've forgotten when to swallow. Crazy, eh? I've been swallowing since I was a baby. You'd think I could handle it by now. Once, years ago, I was chewing away on a Halloween molasses kiss, watching TV. I was laying down on the couch at the time, a huge no-no. Suddenly, a bit of spittle went down the wrong pipe. It closed my windpipe completely off. You talk about a fight for air! It was close. Real close. And my daughter never lets me forget, to this very day. She sees me laying down, eating or drinking, and she hollers for me to sit up! And they won't let me near any chewy candy.
I like how you saw the vaccine on a voyage through your body...
"Staring up from my pillow, I rehearsed how yesterday morning, at 9:00, I voluntarily allowed a mysterious, little-understood and hastily-concocted serum to dock into the muscle of my upper arm and board ten thousand tiny ships, as it were, to scuttle off to every centimetered outpost of my body. Each vessel manned and womaned by a thousand drunken sailors whose sole job it was, at the end of their journey, to dump their portions into my body's awaiting capillaries and hungry cells."
I like how you encourage your fellow Fanstorians to get the vaccine, helping to sweep this miserable virus to the side of the road.
Terrific post, Jay! Thanks for sharing. I haven't had my first vaccination up here. I think I'll hope for the Pfizer shot. I don't want the AstraZeneca variety, not after all the horror stories of blood clots.
Cheers,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2021
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Hey Jay,
So, you're all done being a pin cushion, eh? Good for you. I like the way you compared the ordeal of staying awake while on guard duty to keeping vigil for possible side effects of the vaccine. Yet all the while, sleep is an enemy. While on guard duty, if you fall asleep, a perpetrator may sneak in and kill you or one of your buddies. Or, your commander may catch you snoozing, and you'll find yourself locked up for 30 days... or hanged for abandoning your duty. Meanwhile, in bed, present day, you dread falling asleep because side effects of the vaccination may close off your windpipe. You might never wake up. You might be dead. Either way, sleep is the real enemy.
I have the very same problem. I'm lucky to get 5 hours of sleep. And even then, it's probably interrupted. The only time I ever remember getting more than 8 hours was back in the 80's. I took the fam' to Prince Edward Island, to Adams Seaview Cottages in Darnley. I had started a book days before... forget the name, but it was about the lone survivor of a plane crash. I was right into it. And one night, I was reading and fell asleep. My wife must have turned off the light at some point. Maybe it was the salty breeze coming in the window. Maybe it was just exhaustion from a 4-hour drive. I don't know. But I woke up to sunshine, blue skies, and the voices of kids playing outside on the lawn. It was heading for 10am. And I felt so refreshed! I've never had another sleep like that in 35 years!
I enjoyed the part where your family was checking up on you, making sure you were still in the land of the living.
I often choke on a drink, sometimes food, in my old age. It's like I've forgotten when to swallow. Crazy, eh? I've been swallowing since I was a baby. You'd think I could handle it by now. Once, years ago, I was chewing away on a Halloween molasses kiss, watching TV. I was laying down on the couch at the time, a huge no-no. Suddenly, a bit of spittle went down the wrong pipe. It closed my windpipe completely off. You talk about a fight for air! It was close. Real close. And my daughter never lets me forget, to this very day. She sees me laying down, eating or drinking, and she hollers for me to sit up! And they won't let me near any chewy candy.
I like how you saw the vaccine on a voyage through your body...
"Staring up from my pillow, I rehearsed how yesterday morning, at 9:00, I voluntarily allowed a mysterious, little-understood and hastily-concocted serum to dock into the muscle of my upper arm and board ten thousand tiny ships, as it were, to scuttle off to every centimetered outpost of my body. Each vessel manned and womaned by a thousand drunken sailors whose sole job it was, at the end of their journey, to dump their portions into my body's awaiting capillaries and hungry cells."
I like how you encourage your fellow Fanstorians to get the vaccine, helping to sweep this miserable virus to the side of the road.
Terrific post, Jay! Thanks for sharing. I haven't had my first vaccination up here. I think I'll hope for the Pfizer shot. I don't want the AstraZeneca variety, not after all the horror stories of blood clots.
Cheers,
Kimbob
Comment Written 25-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2021
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Kimbob, you are a miracle. It took me two days to work out the complexities of the two types of guard duties, and until I read your synopsis of it in one short paragraph, I don't think I understood it.
It's good to commiserate with a friend on sleep deprivation. It's no fun, especially when you can't keep your eyes open during the day. I have to do my afternoon reading standing up, or I will nod off four or five times an hour. And once I fell asleep standing.
Please do get your vaccination, Kimbob. The world isn't quite ready to lose you yet.
Oh, and thanks for that lovely 6th star.
Jay
Comment from Adri7enne
Way to go, Jay! You did good, you did swell. Proud of you, my friend. It didn't look good for you guys in the states there, for a while. But now that you have a sane man in the White House you guys really worked at getting your act together. Doing well! Happy for you, guys. I haven't had one shot yet. Coming up soon. I think I could probably call to book a vaccine next week. You inspire me to go do my part. Fun to read you, as always.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2021
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Way to go, Jay! You did good, you did swell. Proud of you, my friend. It didn't look good for you guys in the states there, for a while. But now that you have a sane man in the White House you guys really worked at getting your act together. Doing well! Happy for you, guys. I haven't had one shot yet. Coming up soon. I think I could probably call to book a vaccine next week. You inspire me to go do my part. Fun to read you, as always.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2021
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Thank you, Adrienne. Yeah, it was a long haul with a crazy man at the helm. Now that we've found some semblance of sanity there is a lot of hope for the future. The six stars is lovely! When are you going to post something?
Comment from Erika Seshadri
This is great. I enjoy all the uniqueness in your stories... "as toothless as nursery rhymes."
Glad you were able to get the vaccine. I'm still waiting to eligible.
All the best.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2021
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This is great. I enjoy all the uniqueness in your stories... "as toothless as nursery rhymes."
Glad you were able to get the vaccine. I'm still waiting to eligible.
All the best.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2021
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I would be happy to wait, if I could exchange it for a younger age! Depending on where you are from, I think it's going to open up for everyone by the end of April. Thank you for your kind words and the lovely stars.
Comment from Bluesatinbutterfly
Such an enjoyable read, thank you. I completely agree about the need to be jabbed too.
As a fellow insomniac, three hours sleep or none being the norm, I would like to be like you and crave sleep, but I flee from it :)
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2021
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Such an enjoyable read, thank you. I completely agree about the need to be jabbed too.
As a fellow insomniac, three hours sleep or none being the norm, I would like to be like you and crave sleep, but I flee from it :)
Comment Written 24-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2021
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First of all, thank you for your lovely six stars and your kind words. And now, tell me why you flee from sleep. Do you want to stay awake? LOL, I hope I misread that!
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You read it correctly, flee is what I do :) I realised there was a problem a few years ago. I was talking to my daughter about not sleeping, and out of nowhere I heard myself say that sleep has to creep up on me whilst I am busy and can't stop it. I do not like falling asleep, or waking up, and the part in the middle sucks, such terrible nightmares, I wake up sobbing mostly. I expect the nightmares are because my poor old mind doesn't get the chance to file away the days events properly. Sorry, bit of an overshare perhaps?
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No, not overshare. It's fascinating. You've got yourself so locked into insomnia, that I think a little therapy might be a good call.
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Ah, therapy, I was adviced to try talking to a therapist a few years ago, not a good fit. For lots of reasons that I won?t bore you with, (evil mother, abuse, two divorces, at my instigation) I found that if I tried to talk all I did was sob. Add to this a therapist who thought it a good idea to stare directly into my eyes all the while we talked and you get the idea.
Comment from Anne Johnston
Thanks for sharing your experience with receiving your Vaccination. I got my first shot of Pfizer yesterday, and had a restless night, so can sympathize with you. Second shot is not until July.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2021
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Thanks for sharing your experience with receiving your Vaccination. I got my first shot of Pfizer yesterday, and had a restless night, so can sympathize with you. Second shot is not until July.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2021
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Goodness, are you sure you have the month right for your second? Double check it. I think it's supposed to be a month apart, not 4 months.
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No, they are aiming here to get the
first dose to everyone by the end of June, and so second will be 3 months
Comment from Cromwell Estes
This story is inspiring, and instills fear into my eyes. I like when I am afraid but only a little bit. This is a fantastic story and I cannot wait to read more of your stuff.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2021
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This story is inspiring, and instills fear into my eyes. I like when I am afraid but only a little bit. This is a fantastic story and I cannot wait to read more of your stuff.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2021
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I can't wait to have you read more of my stuff, Cromwell. (What a delight of a first name!) Thank you so much for your kind words and for the six stars. That means a lot to me.
Comment from kmoss
This description of receiving the vaccine is genius:I voluntarily allowed a mysterious, little-understood and hastily-concocted serum to dock into the muscle of my upper arm and board ten thousand tiny ships, as it were, to scuttle off to every centimetered outpost of my body. Each vessel manned and womaned by a thousand drunken sailors whose sole job it was, at the end of their journey, to dump their portions into my body's awaiting capillaries and hungry cells.
You are such a realist. It seems you are taking growing older like a champ! Bless your watchdog son! You must have raised a good one.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2021
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This description of receiving the vaccine is genius:I voluntarily allowed a mysterious, little-understood and hastily-concocted serum to dock into the muscle of my upper arm and board ten thousand tiny ships, as it were, to scuttle off to every centimetered outpost of my body. Each vessel manned and womaned by a thousand drunken sailors whose sole job it was, at the end of their journey, to dump their portions into my body's awaiting capillaries and hungry cells.
You are such a realist. It seems you are taking growing older like a champ! Bless your watchdog son! You must have raised a good one.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2021
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Yep, Joe's a good kid! Glad you liked this little bit of madness, Krystal. Your chartreuse cross is most welcome on my mantle. Thank you so much!
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I?ll admit I had to Google chartreuse. Clever used of words, my friend! :)
I?m going for a 30 day sober stint this time! I started the keto plan. Going good so far (it?s only three days in)!
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I didn't picture you as having a need to diet. Or is it an inner cleansing thing, to flush out the alcohol, to squeegee the cells squeaky clean?
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It?s not a ?diet,? it?s a lifestyle change. Lol. And I need to get back to my bikini wearing days. Yes it?s much needed. Ha
Comment from LIJ Red
I'm a week short of the Moderna number two. Glad you spoke up. Clearly and wittily. For the first time in over a year, I'm back with a notion of
writing. Sure admire the way you manage it.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2021
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I'm a week short of the Moderna number two. Glad you spoke up. Clearly and wittily. For the first time in over a year, I'm back with a notion of
writing. Sure admire the way you manage it.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2021
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Damn! I thank you, Red. I struggle daily with it. Words don't come into this head like they used to. The rhythm's still there waiting for the words to dance with. But I struggle with the most common of them. For about a year and a half, I've forced myself to put in an hour and a half a day studying Spanish, just as a type of calisthentics for my mind. I will survive it, Red. I may not have a memory of it, but survival's survival. Thank you so much for your encouragement and for the six stars. Please keep your writing here. I live for it.
Comment from damommy
I enjoyed this story very much. I live alone and think about something happening and my remaining son finding my body. I wear a life alert necklace that senses if I fall, which I've done a lot of. I've had several concussions, and yes, I know, that explains a lot. lol. I choked once, too, and thought my end had come. We have to be careful these days.
I've been advised not to take the vaccine because I have lupus, a immune deficiency disease. Several people younger than me have had violent reactions, and I'm afraid to take it even so.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2021
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I enjoyed this story very much. I live alone and think about something happening and my remaining son finding my body. I wear a life alert necklace that senses if I fall, which I've done a lot of. I've had several concussions, and yes, I know, that explains a lot. lol. I choked once, too, and thought my end had come. We have to be careful these days.
I've been advised not to take the vaccine because I have lupus, a immune deficiency disease. Several people younger than me have had violent reactions, and I'm afraid to take it even so.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2021
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God bless you, my dear. Strangely, you are the only one who mentioned the most frightening part of what I wrote, the near choking death. And now I find I've shared the experience with another. Only a person who has gone through it knows what a luxury it is just to breathe in and out, in and out. Seriously, I count my chews now.
I was thinking about getting one of those life alert necklaces myself. What is it, about $25 a month. And what peace of mind that gives one! Can you check with your Doctor about a more rigorous observation period after a Covid vaccination? I'm with Kaiser Permanente, so my vaccination was done at their facility and I know if I requested it they would have let me stay under their watchful eyes for half a day if I requested it. Check with your doctor about your concerns.
I feel a special closeness to you, damommy, so I want you to take care of yourself. You hear?
Jay
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Thank you for saying you feel a closeness to me. I'm very honored. Isn't it strange how two people can feel that way even though they've never met.
My life alert is with Medical Guardian. I had a different one at first, but it wasn't reliable. After doing some research, I found that Medical Guardian is considered the best. I pay yearly, but I forgot how much it is. The one I had before was $45/mo. At any rate, it gives me peace of mind. I don't wear it in the shower, although they say you can, but I do hang it close by. The only other time I take it off is when I go to bed. I put it on the charger by my bed, and if I get up, I put it on. I definitely think you should get one. If price is a factor, I would be happy to pay it for you, just to know you're protected. Thank you for being my friend. Take care.
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No, no, price isn't a factor. People that I tell it to have trouble believing me that I live quite comfortably on 400 a month, with a surplus at month's end. Reading and writing and my few favorite TV shows are my only entertainment. I've also been studying Spanish 2 hours daily (more to keep my mind sharp). I am a pretty happy person, Damommy [please, what is your first name]. I AM touched, though, that you made such a generous offer. Thank you.
While I'm quite content and happy, I recognize certain vulnerabilities. I live alone and things like choking to death and mortal injuries are realities. I'm not afraid of dying, but like Woody Allen says, "I just don't want to be there when it happens!"
So I am gong to investigate the Medical Guardian today.
Here's to our friendship, damommy. I'm opening my arms for a virtual hug. Stay safe.
Jay
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I believe you about the 400/mo. I've done it, too. When I first became unable to work, I only received $632/mo. My family was mad when they found out I didn't tell them, but I made it, and I'm rather proud of myself. 8-)
My name is Yvonne. My email is yuzzell00@gmail.com
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Thank you, Yvonne. I'm adding you to my email list (My address is gwsquiresjr@gmail.com). And I'm also adding your name to my list of friends here. It makes it easier to communicate. Again, thanks.
Jay
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I've got it. Adding to my contacts now. Feel free to write me anytime.
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Thank you. And the same goes to you.