Aiona's Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 88 "Six Feet"Because my portfolio is too messy and I have OCD.
7 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
Aiona,
This is a nicely written extended and saddly fitting metaphor for these times with COVID. I like the picture because the sunrise gives you hope for an end to this.
Congrats for placing third in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Joan
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2020
  |
Aiona,
This is a nicely written extended and saddly fitting metaphor for these times with COVID. I like the picture because the sunrise gives you hope for an end to this.
Congrats for placing third in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Joan
Comment Written 27-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2020
-
Thank you, Joan. When I'm out sailing, it is easy to forget that there's a lockdown going on, because we're just naturally isolated. That is until we anchor. In the past, I've met some other sailors when we go hiking ashore, but lately we tend to just stay on the boat. We went to shore on Matia, and would meet people on the trails. The trails are so narrow, you can't stay six feet apart, unless you step into blackberry bushes! So haven't been hiking on the islands as much as in previous years. Thanks for the review.
-
You?re welcome, Aiona
Joan
Comment from Cynthia Adams1
I very much like your poem.
The winners were just announced and it looks like you were awarded fourth place. I am writing to say, in my opinon, yours is the best of the five entries mentioned and should have won. I suspect you would have done better if it were a peer-review contest.
I liked everything about your poem. The instances where six feet is significant, were fascinating to think of as connected.
"Side by side but not in the same boat." is probably my favorite line. The artwork is a nice accompaniment. Congrats.
Keep up the excellent work.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
 |
I very much like your poem.
The winners were just announced and it looks like you were awarded fourth place. I am writing to say, in my opinon, yours is the best of the five entries mentioned and should have won. I suspect you would have done better if it were a peer-review contest.
I liked everything about your poem. The instances where six feet is significant, were fascinating to think of as connected.
"Side by side but not in the same boat." is probably my favorite line. The artwork is a nice accompaniment. Congrats.
Keep up the excellent work.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
-
Oh wow! I didn't even know. Thank you.
-
Congrats...hope it made your day to be recognized. I think they print winners under the messages category at the top of the screen. But when you first open up the site, I think winners of different categories are in a big box at the top.
-
p.s.
I just looked and it's still there. Shut down the site and reboot. When it opens again, at the top it says Latest News and you are among the folks listed. :)
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Congrats on your prize for this original 3/6/9--the opening stanza is star-worthy in itself--fathom=6 feet compared to social distance--thanks for notes for context. Cheers. LIZ
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
|
Congrats on your prize for this original 3/6/9--the opening stanza is star-worthy in itself--fathom=6 feet compared to social distance--thanks for notes for context. Cheers. LIZ
Comment Written 23-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
-
Thanks, Liz. I didn't even know I won anything until I saw your review! LOL!
Comment from Wendy G
Very topical. Yes, the different meanings for six feet, and a new one for this year! Life has certainly changed. A short little poem where each word must count, and stand fast to the syllable requirements. And it does. Thank you. Well written.
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2020
|
Very topical. Yes, the different meanings for six feet, and a new one for this year! Life has certainly changed. A short little poem where each word must count, and stand fast to the syllable requirements. And it does. Thank you. Well written.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2020
-
Thank you for the compliments. But someone else pointed out there has to be three stanzas of 3-6-9 each! LOL! So I guess it won't stay a short little poem. Oh well!
-
Oh yes! You are right, three stanzas required. Oh well, keep going ... all the best!
Comment from lyenochka
Oh that's a super way to express what six feet is. I never thought about all these common ways we use six feet.
By the way, for the contest you need two more stanzas. Keep going - maybe you'll find more interesting comparisons of measurements!
*************
Wonderful additions! You really rocked it from the reasons for distancing and then returning back to the boating theme!
Best wishes in the contest!!
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2020
|
Oh that's a super way to express what six feet is. I never thought about all these common ways we use six feet.
By the way, for the contest you need two more stanzas. Keep going - maybe you'll find more interesting comparisons of measurements!
*************
Wonderful additions! You really rocked it from the reasons for distancing and then returning back to the boating theme!
Best wishes in the contest!!
Comment Written 13-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2020
-
Oh, golly! Thanks, lyenochka. I'll keep thinking.
-
Let me know when you've edited and I'll review again!
-
Whew! That was hard! I added some stanzas. I might re-work them again later, if I think of something better!
-
I loved your additions! Fabulous!
Comment from writer_13
Wow, what a beautiful picture and I really liked your poem. You say a lot in those few words. Everyone is feeling the distance these days. I liked the use of the word fathom for the measurement and mentioning that the depth that we bury coffins is the same distance we have to keep apart.
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2020
|
Wow, what a beautiful picture and I really liked your poem. You say a lot in those few words. Everyone is feeling the distance these days. I liked the use of the word fathom for the measurement and mentioning that the depth that we bury coffins is the same distance we have to keep apart.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2020
-
Thank you for the compliments. Someone else pointed out that the contest requires three stanzas of 3-6-9 each. So I gotta think of more comparisons! Heh!
Comment from Jay Squires
This is a fascinating use of the 3-6-9, making it timely and connecting dying symbolically with the possible death of relationships when we are forced to distance by a fathom. But without physically distancing the fathom can also be a death sentence. This is a winner in my estimation.
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2020
|
This is a fascinating use of the 3-6-9, making it timely and connecting dying symbolically with the possible death of relationships when we are forced to distance by a fathom. But without physically distancing the fathom can also be a death sentence. This is a winner in my estimation.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2020
-
Are you saying...it's "deep"? LOL! Thanks, Jay.
-
Ugh, someone reminded me it has to have three stanzas. Gotta think up more.
-
Oh my God! I didn't know that either. You left it so evocatively, teasingly, unsaid in the one stanza
-
Oh, yes! Indeed, it was deep.
