Reviews from

Lady Lily

Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Lady Lily and the Wizard"
fantasy poem

38 total reviews 
Comment from flamingstar
Excellent
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I'm really impressed that you sustained the trochaic tetrameter throughout as it's hard to do! To me, it feels like driving on the wrong side of the road. Great characters; I'm anxious to see where you go from here.

 Comment Written 11-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 11-Oct-2014
    Thank you so much for the encouraging review. Every writer loves to hear that people want to read more. Thank you! Debi
Comment from Leigh Ann
Excellent
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Lady Lily, my hero. Great little story in poetic form. I would love to see it as a children's show or movie. The wizard casting spells, tormenting the king and queen, then Lily comes in and protects them by sending them through time. Great stuff. :)

 Comment Written 11-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 11-Oct-2014
    Thank you for the great analysis, Leigh Ann. I am happy to hear you like the story. Oh, a movie. That would be exciting. You leave me smiling. Thank you. Debi
Comment from Caressa_08
Excellent
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The spectacular, moving picture by itself is worth six stars...The poem is close, too ....Though never was much into fantasy...This was a good one....Reminding me of a dinosaur & they were scary & real, unlike the legendary dragon....Anyways great presentation....Think eventually, every one who is not from the old school will be trying to come up with poems & moving pictures here...Wow, that's all I can think with all that type of competition, as people are very visual creatures...& react to pictures like this..over just ordinary, run of the mill pictures.

Caressa

 Comment Written 11-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 11-Oct-2014
    Hi Csressa,
    Love your review. Now the way we keep renaming things, who is to say that dinosaurs weren't once called dragons? Pterodactyls certainly look close to some of the dragon drawing I've seen.

    I appreciate your kind comments about the writing, especially since fantasy is not your favorite.
    Thank you
    Debi
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Excellent
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Hi, W.J...

What a fun little adventure.

Fantastic artwork. You cannot go wrong with Dean's help with cook graphics. He's tops.

Put your great poem and the artwork together and you have a fantastic presentation.

Look forward to the next part.

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*.*)

 Comment Written 10-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 11-Oct-2014
    Thank you for the great review, Jax. I am happy to hear you enjoyed the story and looks forward to more. Every writer likes to hear that. Debi
Comment from Diny
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I so love a perfect ryhmeing epic of a tale in poetic form you have crafted this one well- Also love the author notes to show us how to read and relate to this work. I look forawrd to part 2... write on! Di

 Comment Written 10-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 11-Oct-2014
    Hi Diny,
    Thank you so much for the six stars and the wonderful comments! I am delighted to hear you look forward to more. You have certainly brightened my day. Thank you! Debi
reply by Diny on 11-Oct-2014
    You are very welcome
Comment from l.raven
Excellent
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HI Debi, this is a great poem...and the to be continued....hmmmmmmm...so much imagination went into this one...I love the story told and the picture stunning...soooooooo very well thought of...so very well written...Luff Linda xxoo

 Comment Written 10-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 11-Oct-2014
    Thank you for such kind and encouraging comments, Linda. I am happy you liked the story. Debi
reply by l.raven on 11-Oct-2014
    you are so very welcome Debi...luff xxoo
Comment from ravenblack
Excellent
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A wizard named Joe? Why do I have the feeling that the "to be continued" will take place in the more mundane world where Joe is either a cad or a gas station attendant with dreams of grandeur. And Lily.

 Comment Written 10-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 10-Oct-2014
    Hi ravenblack,
    I admit that would be an interesting concept, but sorry no mudane world for this Joe. He has to stick it out in the fantasy world of dragons and butterflies and magic spells. It probably goes back to a story I liked as a kid where all the characters had long fancy names and titles, but the panther "Bill" (which always made me laugh because the name seemed out of place in comparison) turned out to be an enchanted golden prince who rescued the day and, of course, the maiden in distress.
Comment from tfawcus
Excellent
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Goodness! Another Longfellow in the making! You've slipped into the rhythm like a second skin. Unlike iambic rhythm it has a relentless forward motion when it gets going which gives a slightly breathless and exciting quality to the story.

 Comment Written 10-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 10-Oct-2014
    LOL! Longfellow? Now that would be high aspirations. I do admit though, once I got started with the story the meter did seem to just fit and I loved it. Thank goodness for the contest to give me the information I needed even though this is too long to be in it.
    I appreciate your kind remarks and encouragement. Debi
Comment from Delahay
Excellent
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This tells the start of a nice little fairy tale that begins with a good deal of drama. I like the way it is going so far and look forward to seeing the next part.

 Comment Written 10-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 10-Oct-2014
    Thank you for the encouraging review. Part two should be out in a few days. Debi
Comment from kiwijenny
Excellent
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Oh, this is simply magnificent ,,,and a story in a poem that I can't wait to read. Well done....you should try a fantasy novel,,,,,seriously.NANOWRIMO
November is write a novel In a month...month. That's how I came to write mine..1669 or so words a day...and fantasy means you can watch Merlin BBC for inspiration...it's like fantasy homework
Yay

 Comment Written 10-Oct-2014


reply by the author on 10-Oct-2014
    What encouraging remarks! Thank you, kiwijenny.
    I have considerd doing the novel in a month. I just need to decide a topic. Sounds challenging, but what an accomplishment.
    I love Merlin. I just might have to watch it. Fantasy homework. Hmm. That would be like playing.
    Debi :)
reply by kiwijenny on 10-Oct-2014
    Why I chose a fantasy novel to write is because there would be minimal research...but I did research.,,like how to make swords ..but you just commit to write. It stalled in the middle until I wrote the ending ...then I had a point to write towards...I have two programs running...I write my ideas....just random brainstorming. Then I write the fine tuned chapter from those ideas .
    You could do it with the fantasy poems you have written which are wonderful.
    I am going to a writers conference where I have to pitch my novel to an editor and an agent...yikes I am nervous but it seemed practical to try....it is a fantasy in itself.....to be published
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2014
    Oh, I wish you the best of luck with the editor and the agents. May your dreams of getting published come true. I'll cross my fingers and pray for you. How exciting!
reply by kiwijenny on 10-Oct-2014
    Thank you and I am hoping you will try the novel ...
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2014
    Well I do have a writer's magazine in front of me with 30 tips and strategies to help be successful for NANOWRIMO--so looks like I might be leaning that way.
    Thanks for the encouragement and your sincere interest. I value your friendship. :)
reply by kiwijenny on 10-Oct-2014
    You are so welcome...one more thing...it is fun..and gets you out of housework:o)
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2014
    LOL