Comment from Spitfire

Excellent

It amazes me that someone can tell a story in fixed meter and rhyme. You do it so well. A dragon and a butterfly, that's quite a mix. Hope they keep their memories as husband and wife or the butterfly might get burned!

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2015

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reply by the author on 24-Feb-2015

Wow, you went all the way back to the beginning. I am flattered.
I only intended to write a short poem for a contest, but it kind of got away from me. The contest capped at 17 lines so, of course, I didn't enter it.
Yep, the dragon and the butterfly get to keep their memories, but imagine how careful he has to be around her.

Comment from jlsavell

Excellent

w.j.debi, first of all, this is certainly deserving of six stars. It is so well written and so very entertaining that I cannot wait for part 2. It is very well executed and the storyline is imaginative and so very entertaining. I loved it... Jimi

I know it is Monday, but I am out of sixes, for I only get to write and review one day a week and there are so many great writers out there.. I need more sixes to give away!!!

 Comment Written 13-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 18-Oct-2014

Hi Jimi,
I totally understand the once a week visit to the site. Because of work and life I've cut back my visits to the site to once and sometimes twice a week.

Thank you so much for the virtual six stars and the very encouraging review. I am so happy you enjoyed reading it.

Comment from seaglass

Excellent

This appears to be the making of a new fairytale. The rhyming is consistent and the meter smooth.Reading it was easy as a fun tale should be. Waiting to read the ending.

 Comment Written 13-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014

Thank you so much for the great review and the encouragement. It is nice to hear you want to read the ending. I have part two ready, but just trying to find time to get it posted. Thank you. Debi

Comment from Trybuck

Excellent

All that meter talk and counting syllables seems like too much work. I've been told it's not when you get used to it but I'm a slow learner.
Well done with this little tale, Buck

 Comment Written 12-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014

Hi Buck. I am happy you like the story. That is good enough for me and the best praise of all. Thank you. Debi

Comment from Christine B.

Exceptional

Hi, Debi! This shows the workings of such an adventurous mind, and one that is perfectly capable of expressing itself through words arranged gracefully enough to be a wondrous dream. It's beautiful. I wouldn't be able to understand anyone not reading this more than once. Part 1? If there will be another, I'll be looking forward to part 2.

 Comment Written 12-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014

Thank you for the wonderful six stars! Sorry for the delay in my response, Christine. It has been a very busy week at work. You say such nice things in your review. I appreciate the encouragement and support. I have part two ready to go as soon as I find time to post it.

Comment from pipersfancy

Exceptional

I just loved this whimsical and magical piece! Your use of consonance and alliteration, while never overdone, really add to the sense of movement throughout the poem.

I am here to claim the kingdom

Small suggestion - this kingdom... 'the' sounds too nonspecific in this demanding sentence!

I'll look forward to the next instalment!

PF

 Comment Written 12-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014

Thank you for the wonderful review and generous six stars, Pipersfancy!
Thank you for the suggestion. I agree "this" is more specific and fitting for this line and have made the change. I love hearing that you look forward to the next installment. You have me smiling. Debi

reply by pipersfancy on 12-Oct-2014

My pleasure! (-:

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

solid rhyming
strong use of trochaic meter
good use of alliteration
effective imagery
dramatic story line
powerful verbs that add to the drama
Brooke

 Comment Written 12-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014

Thank you for the lovely review and encouragement, Brooke. I appreciate it. Debi

Comment from drivenbackward

Excellent

Cool little story poem, w.j. Actually, it read more like a story than a poem, and that's meant in a good way. No errors to report. Well done.

 Comment Written 12-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014

Thank you so much. I take your comments in a good way. That you got caught up in the story and not the mechanics of how it was presented is about the nicest complement you could give. THANK YOU! Debi

Comment from kiwisteveh

Excellent

Nice place to break the story in the middle - can't wait for part two.

This is carried along sweetly on the flowing meter and the strong abcbdb rhyming sestets.

Cute tale too with a light-hearted feel to it. Of course Lily is going to win, though not without one or two scary moments perhaps.

Steve

 Comment Written 11-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Oct-2014

Thank you for the great review, Steve. It is nice to hear look forward to part two. Yes, heroes must have some trouble to conquer so Lily has some trouble ahead. Debi

Comment from amahra

Excellent

I agree that Dean has some awesome pictures that he uploads. I really loved your poem and thought the rhyming was great. I loved the rhythm which was a steady flow throughout the poem. Great job.

 Comment Written 11-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Oct-2014

Thank you for the encouraging comments about the rhyming, rhythm and flow, amahra. I appreciate it. Debi