Sonnets
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "A Raptor's Child"A collection of sonnets
37 total reviews
Comment from royowen
I think most people have imagined what it would be like to be able to float above the earth, to fly free of gravity's restrictions and law! Nicely written poem, With great imaginative, descriptively expressive and imaginative imagery, a good entry in this contest, perfect syllable count, hoping you do well, well done, good luck, blessings, Roy.
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I think most people have imagined what it would be like to be able to float above the earth, to fly free of gravity's restrictions and law! Nicely written poem, With great imaginative, descriptively expressive and imaginative imagery, a good entry in this contest, perfect syllable count, hoping you do well, well done, good luck, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2015
Comment from Deborah Marie
Well penned contest entry paired well with picture and color scheme. Nice rhyming, progression, rhythm and flow. Clever use of descriptive words produced impressive imagery seen throughout your poem. Thanks for sharing, Deb
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Well penned contest entry paired well with picture and color scheme. Nice rhyming, progression, rhythm and flow. Clever use of descriptive words produced impressive imagery seen throughout your poem. Thanks for sharing, Deb
Comment Written 25-Mar-2015
Comment from waterartist707
I thought this was beautifully unusual and original. I greatly enjoyed it and it took me into its story. I found myself re-reading it. The flow was excellent and interesting. I don't feel any changes are needed at all. Wonderful work.
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I thought this was beautifully unusual and original. I greatly enjoyed it and it took me into its story. I found myself re-reading it. The flow was excellent and interesting. I don't feel any changes are needed at all. Wonderful work.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2015
Comment from nordicgirl
This has amazing imagery and depth. I found it to be flawless. As a blank verse it flowed as though rhymed and as far as I can see followed every rule to perfection. A gem. "Touching rain before it even falls".
That is one of the best lines I have ever read. Wow, what an incredible image!!
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This has amazing imagery and depth. I found it to be flawless. As a blank verse it flowed as though rhymed and as far as I can see followed every rule to perfection. A gem. "Touching rain before it even falls".
That is one of the best lines I have ever read. Wow, what an incredible image!!
Comment Written 25-Mar-2015
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Mike...
Love this. Great 2nd stanza. I could close my eyes and picture the him gliding and soaring, even as the rain touches him.
Very strong entry. Good luck in the contest.
Thx so much for the congrats. (*<*) Much appreciated.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)
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Hi, Mike...
Love this. Great 2nd stanza. I could close my eyes and picture the him gliding and soaring, even as the rain touches him.
Very strong entry. Good luck in the contest.
Thx so much for the congrats. (*<*) Much appreciated.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2015
Comment from krys123
Mikey;
+ Imagery was fantastic and dramatically expressive and vividly descriptive throughout the writing: "With craning neck(No need for a comma) my eyes look up to see an eagle ruling all that lies below." Beautiful imagery of an eagle soaring above the ground.
+ Rhythmic meter(mostly iambic pentameter but some lines I think are in question?),
cadence, tempo and timing all hell fly making the reading clear, fluid and easy. We all know it should be Da dum, Da dum, Da dum and so forth but when I read it very slowly I find some of your three syllabic words don't fit with this iambic pentameter. I find it very difficult myself and handling blank verse and I forgot my hair doing my own. With the unstressed word of a double syllable can't be accented on the next word: THE SWING-(ING SET) GOES BACK AND FORTH. This one works but in some cases it doesn't: SWINGING/(SET IS)/(NOT GO)-/ING BACK/ AND FORTH. The second example is wrong. All I can say is good luck.
+ Poetic assessment and summary: I love the concept and topic very much and it brings to my mind freedom and clarity with a serene and tranquil aspect to life and living it to its fullest. Yet in dreams one is totally free to have this tranquility.
+ Good luck in the contest Mikey and may the good Lord be with us both on this one.
Alex
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Mikey;
+ Imagery was fantastic and dramatically expressive and vividly descriptive throughout the writing: "With craning neck(No need for a comma) my eyes look up to see an eagle ruling all that lies below." Beautiful imagery of an eagle soaring above the ground.
+ Rhythmic meter(mostly iambic pentameter but some lines I think are in question?),
cadence, tempo and timing all hell fly making the reading clear, fluid and easy. We all know it should be Da dum, Da dum, Da dum and so forth but when I read it very slowly I find some of your three syllabic words don't fit with this iambic pentameter. I find it very difficult myself and handling blank verse and I forgot my hair doing my own. With the unstressed word of a double syllable can't be accented on the next word: THE SWING-(ING SET) GOES BACK AND FORTH. This one works but in some cases it doesn't: SWINGING/(SET IS)/(NOT GO)-/ING BACK/ AND FORTH. The second example is wrong. All I can say is good luck.
+ Poetic assessment and summary: I love the concept and topic very much and it brings to my mind freedom and clarity with a serene and tranquil aspect to life and living it to its fullest. Yet in dreams one is totally free to have this tranquility.
+ Good luck in the contest Mikey and may the good Lord be with us both on this one.
Alex
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2015
Comment from MissMerri
Hahahaha... Eagle rhymes with dreams? Not in English, I'm thinking. I loved this blank verse sonnet. I have taken Ray's first class in blank verse and I could find no fault with this whatsoever, plus I loved the theme. I especially loved the line about touching rain before it even falls. How creative you are! This was a simply wonderful experience from beginning to end. Good luck in the contest. You may not need it with this kind of an entry.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2015
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Hahahaha... Eagle rhymes with dreams? Not in English, I'm thinking. I loved this blank verse sonnet. I have taken Ray's first class in blank verse and I could find no fault with this whatsoever, plus I loved the theme. I especially loved the line about touching rain before it even falls. How creative you are! This was a simply wonderful experience from beginning to end. Good luck in the contest. You may not need it with this kind of an entry.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2015
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Thank you, thank you!!!! I'm so pleased you liked this. You're one of my favorites here so I feel victorious already! I've been reading some of the reviews of the other entries and they're soooo picky. :) I figured the "ea" sound in the two words might get me in trouble. Ha! Well, I'll cross my fingers, but I'm pleased to just fit in with this crowd. :)) mikey
