Lady Lily
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Lady Lily and the Wizard"fantasy poem
38 total reviews
Comment from Louise Michelle
Hi Debi,
What a terrific story in a poem, filled with the magic of fantasy, and staying true to the rhymes and meter. I know a lot of effort went into this and it surely earned you a sixer.
Hugs,
Lou
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2014
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Hi Debi,
What a terrific story in a poem, filled with the magic of fantasy, and staying true to the rhymes and meter. I know a lot of effort went into this and it surely earned you a sixer.
Hugs,
Lou
Comment Written 10-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2014
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Thank you for the wonderful six stars, Lou! This was a lot of fun and once I got started the story just sort of took over. Thank you so much for mentioning the rhymes and meter as well as the story. I am so happy you liked it. Debi
Comment from bhogg
Some of your author notes were way to technical for me. All I know is that the way that you constructed the poem was great. Well balanced and a pleasure to read with an excellent rhyme scheme. Even told what looks like part of a story! Maybe more to come. Bill
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2014
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Some of your author notes were way to technical for me. All I know is that the way that you constructed the poem was great. Well balanced and a pleasure to read with an excellent rhyme scheme. Even told what looks like part of a story! Maybe more to come. Bill
Comment Written 10-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2014
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Thank you for encouraging comments, Bill. Yes, there is more to come. It was getting so long I decided it had to broken into parts or no one would read it. Thank you for enjoying and reviewing. I appreciate it. Debi
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your story in a poem. The picture is great. The length was not too much. I am not sure of the format, so I will not comment on that aspect. The poem did have good flow. Good job with the rhyme,too. Good job and thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2014
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I enjoyed your story in a poem. The picture is great. The length was not too much. I am not sure of the format, so I will not comment on that aspect. The poem did have good flow. Good job with the rhyme,too. Good job and thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2014
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Thank you for the kind comments and encouragement, Jannypan. I am so happy you enjoyed reading this story poem. Debi
Comment from lakeport
Lady Lily and the Wizard, that's a wonderful expressed story poem,very nice rhyming and flow,I enjoyed reading it.God bless you,lakeport.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2014
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Lady Lily and the Wizard, that's a wonderful expressed story poem,very nice rhyming and flow,I enjoyed reading it.God bless you,lakeport.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2014
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Thank you for the gracious remarks and stars, Lakeport. I appreciate the encouragement. Debi
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your welcome,Hugs!Lakeport.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
She used magic of her own..I suggest [Using magic of her own.] for better meter.
I just wrote one of these, quite by accident and I swear I didn't know. I just thought it was mixed meter but Rose set me straight.
Great picture which I expect was the inspiration. Well done WJ. Hugs. Nancy
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2014
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She used magic of her own..I suggest [Using magic of her own.] for better meter.
I just wrote one of these, quite by accident and I swear I didn't know. I just thought it was mixed meter but Rose set me straight.
Great picture which I expect was the inspiration. Well done WJ. Hugs. Nancy
Comment Written 10-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2014
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Oh, my goodness, Nancy. A six means so much coming from someone who writes as well as you do. THANK YOU!
I appreciate the suggestion for making the meter better and have made the change in that line.
I can imagine you writing one of these by accident. You have such a good ear and knack for writing poetry that it probably felt as natural as can be to write it.
You are correct about the picture. I wrote a fantasy poem a few weeks back and Dean Kuch attached the picture in the review he wrote. I immediately thought there had to be a story behind it. I just finally got around to writing it.
Thank you very much for the encouragement. Debi
Comment from Glasstruth
What a magically story! A king becoming a dragon and the butterfly a queen. So imaginative. Great rhyming throughout. I think kids would really get a kick out of this. Wonderfully crafted! Les
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2014
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What a magically story! A king becoming a dragon and the butterfly a queen. So imaginative. Great rhyming throughout. I think kids would really get a kick out of this. Wonderfully crafted! Les
Comment Written 10-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2014
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Thank you, Les. I particularly hope my five-year-old niece Lily likes it. She loves fantasy, especially Disney stuff, but I thought a story with her name in it might be a fun gift. Thank you for the encouraging remarks. Debi
Comment from GracieAnn
w.j., it takes clear vision to tell a story using the confines of the Trochee and have it make sense. You have done an admirable job. Good work. :0 GracieAnn
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reply by the author on 10-Oct-2014
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w.j., it takes clear vision to tell a story using the confines of the Trochee and have it make sense. You have done an admirable job. Good work. :0 GracieAnn
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Comment Written 10-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2014
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Thank you for the encouragement, GracieAnn. I appreciate your continued support. Debi
Comment from Nosha17
Interesting adventure story within your poem. Good use of descriptive language, rhyming and fantasy imagery to convey your thoughts. Enjoyable read. Faye
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reply by the author on 10-Oct-2014
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Interesting adventure story within your poem. Good use of descriptive language, rhyming and fantasy imagery to convey your thoughts. Enjoyable read. Faye
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2014
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Thank you, Faye. I am so happy you enjoyed the story. Thank you for the kind comments also about the imagery, language and rhymes. I appreciate the encouragement. Debi