Luna's Form Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Perchance..."a place to gather my poetic forms
38 total reviews
Comment from rama devi
What a musical form! Well written poem with fine flow and musicality. Fine thematic intensity, fine rhyming (especially liked the slant rhymes of rest and blessed, liaison and upon.) the meter is good except for one line, where scansion is somewhat forced:
shuffling the cards of love at play.
shuffLING forces an accent on the second syllable (to my ear, anyway)
An easy fix might be:
Dear Cupid's bells announce the day
to shuffle cards of love at play.
Fine presentation--artistic!
I enjoyed your poem.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2016
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What a musical form! Well written poem with fine flow and musicality. Fine thematic intensity, fine rhyming (especially liked the slant rhymes of rest and blessed, liaison and upon.) the meter is good except for one line, where scansion is somewhat forced:
shuffling the cards of love at play.
shuffLING forces an accent on the second syllable (to my ear, anyway)
An easy fix might be:
Dear Cupid's bells announce the day
to shuffle cards of love at play.
Fine presentation--artistic!
I enjoyed your poem.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 26-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2016
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Great to see you, rama devi! I'm so happy that you enjoyed this poem and made such gracious remarks. I'll have to look up shuffling in my dictionary...wouldn't you know it, my ear heard it the other way.
So nice to have a review from you after all this while.
Luna
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Thanks! Nice to see you back, dear Luna!
Hugs, rd
Comment from RGstar
Nicely done, dear Luna. Nice rhymes and though sometimes difficult with structures that have repeating lines (can upset the flow and rhythm) you did well here. Nicely lyrical with love in glorified meaning.
I am also entered into this competition, which is one of the few I enter each year that I absolutely cherish. So good to see the diversity.
Have a beautiful evening,
my best wishes.
RG
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2016
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Nicely done, dear Luna. Nice rhymes and though sometimes difficult with structures that have repeating lines (can upset the flow and rhythm) you did well here. Nicely lyrical with love in glorified meaning.
I am also entered into this competition, which is one of the few I enter each year that I absolutely cherish. So good to see the diversity.
Have a beautiful evening,
my best wishes.
RG
Comment Written 26-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2016
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Dear RGstar,
I'm happy that you didn't see the repeats as a hindrance to the poem. Thank you for your courteous review. Good luck to you in the contest, my friend.
luna
Comment from Irish Rain
I really like this form, it sings. And this is a most lovely love poem entry. "We steal our rest upon the moon'..I knew when I read that, this was going to be special. Blessings...
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2016
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I really like this form, it sings. And this is a most lovely love poem entry. "We steal our rest upon the moon'..I knew when I read that, this was going to be special. Blessings...
Comment Written 26-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2016
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Your kind review warms my heart. I'm happy that you find this a proper contest entry...Thank you so very much for your kind words!
jeni
Comment from sandy montgomery
This has a very classical look and feel. Your art definitely enhances that feel. I enjoyed the smooth and steady flow of your piece. I liked the form you chose as well. Thank you for sharing your work.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2016
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This has a very classical look and feel. Your art definitely enhances that feel. I enjoyed the smooth and steady flow of your piece. I liked the form you chose as well. Thank you for sharing your work.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2016
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Again, Sandy, I continue to appreciate your kind reviews. Thanks so much ❤️❤️❤️
Comment from Teri7
This is a very good love poem you have penned for the contest. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2016
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This is a very good love poem you have penned for the contest. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
Comment Written 26-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2016
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I appreciate your kind words, my friend, and also the good luck wishes.
Love always ❤️❤️❤️
Comment from nomi338
very clever. Congratulations, you managed to pull it off and be entertaining at the same time. Not an easy feat, I don't know if I would capable of doing myself. I love the nod to the more classical language and feel of this well written piece.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2016
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very clever. Congratulations, you managed to pull it off and be entertaining at the same time. Not an easy feat, I don't know if I would capable of doing myself. I love the nod to the more classical language and feel of this well written piece.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2016
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Dear nomi338,
I just bet you could handle one of these, and I appreciate your kind review. ❤️❤️❤️
Comment from rjuselius
this is an exceptional entry for this particular format dear jeni! the words flow effortlessly and the imagery is angelic. nice one my friend!
thank you for sharing!
good luck!
virtual six!
blessings!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2016
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this is an exceptional entry for this particular format dear jeni! the words flow effortlessly and the imagery is angelic. nice one my friend!
thank you for sharing!
good luck!
virtual six!
blessings!
rebekka x
Comment Written 26-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2016
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I love this review, rebekka. Thanks for the virtual six and love always ❤️❤️❤️
Comment from MelB
Very nice rhyme and flow. Strong meter and you worked the reversed lines in well. This is a well written love poem and contest entry.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2016
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Very nice rhyme and flow. Strong meter and you worked the reversed lines in well. This is a well written love poem and contest entry.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2016
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I'm happy you enjoyed this, and appreciate your kind words of review, Mel. Thanksgiving the good luck wishes. ❤️❤️❤️
Comment from nancyjam
I enjoyed this Swap Quatrain.
You worked the swapped phrases in very well.
Strong meter and great rhyme add to the pleasure
of reading your Love Poem entry.
Best of luck in the contest.
Nancy
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2016
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I enjoyed this Swap Quatrain.
You worked the swapped phrases in very well.
Strong meter and great rhyme add to the pleasure
of reading your Love Poem entry.
Best of luck in the contest.
Nancy
Comment Written 26-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2016
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Dear Nancy,
A double thank-you, for your kind words is review and the good -luck wishes!
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Wow a very light and lively piece though a little confusing rules to the form but I think I followed along. Thank you for the author's notes to help. I love the idea of Cupid finally being brought back into the lore of love
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2016
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Wow a very light and lively piece though a little confusing rules to the form but I think I followed along. Thank you for the author's notes to help. I love the idea of Cupid finally being brought back into the lore of love
Comment Written 26-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2016
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Barb, I'm happy you enjoyed the inclusion of Cupid. Thanks for your kind words of review, my friend.
