Comes a Time
Time changes everything.17 total reviews
Comment from Pantygynt
Sometimes reality strikes a bitter blow as here. Some years ago my then partner and I returned from a holiday to find a note from the neighbour who had been looking after her cat, saying that the animal had been run over on the road outside the house.
It is a bit like having buckets of cold water poured over one.
I particularly liked the line 'We don't mark time - time marks us.'
But, hey! Not indelibly you know.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
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Sometimes reality strikes a bitter blow as here. Some years ago my then partner and I returned from a holiday to find a note from the neighbour who had been looking after her cat, saying that the animal had been run over on the road outside the house.
It is a bit like having buckets of cold water poured over one.
I particularly liked the line 'We don't mark time - time marks us.'
But, hey! Not indelibly you know.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
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Death of a pet is awful to come home to. Such a blow after a nice holiday.
I think some wrinkles are rather indelible (mine are).
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Your poem is well written and very well thought, although with the use of the "big" words, I think it took some of the meaning of your lovely poem away and made it more difficult to follow, in my opinion, as well as disturbed the flow!
***Typo: ("that is hours and ours, alone.")
S/B "that is ours and ours, alone."
I'd consider changing the background color to make it more inviting;-)
Thank you so much for sharing;-)
God bless you;-)
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
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Your poem is well written and very well thought, although with the use of the "big" words, I think it took some of the meaning of your lovely poem away and made it more difficult to follow, in my opinion, as well as disturbed the flow!
***Typo: ("that is hours and ours, alone.")
S/B "that is ours and ours, alone."
I'd consider changing the background color to make it more inviting;-)
Thank you so much for sharing;-)
God bless you;-)
Comment Written 28-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
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Thanks for spending time reviewing my poem. I appreciate your comments - other people's opinions are always of interest to me to see how they react to how I have expressed the topic being tackled.
In this poem it is a fairly "big" topic, so my vocabulary reflects that. (Could you tell me please which words you considered too big, that reduced the meaning? Perhaps I could find a different word if you tell me which ones were troublesome... :)
My apparent 'typos' are always intentional, to capture both meanings... it is something of a stylistic trademark of my writing to use puns, variations on recognisable sayings, and double meanings to make a layered poem.
How we respond to colour as individuals is psychologically very interesting. Everyone will probably have a different preference. I didn't want to use a bright colour as the subject is so serious... I thought the yellow toned in well with the photo.
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Okay, I wasn't aware of your typos being okay and it would help if you explained that in your Author's notes when this happens in your work;-)
Keep the big words because you like them and I don't want to take away from your poem;-)
Excellent job with your subject!
I appreciate your sharing and many blessings to you and your family;-)
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
After reading your notes I can see where this melancholy write came from as we are all just passing through and the good and bad times either uplift or they drown us, much enjoyed Lisa, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
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After reading your notes I can see where this melancholy write came from as we are all just passing through and the good and bad times either uplift or they drown us, much enjoyed Lisa, love Dolly x
Comment Written 28-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
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I went into a post-vacation slump of melancholy, hearing all the bad news that was happening to other people. There are plenty of other things that uplift me, thank goodness.
Comment from Patty Palmer
You did a wonderful job with this poem! All those ten dollar words! But really I enjoyed reading this poem. I'm glad you are back safely and that you enjoyed your trip. We leave in two weeks for Lake Erie for a week of fun in the sun. LOL That virus is rearing its ugly head again here in the states and I'm kind of leery about going because of it. But, we are staying in a cottage right on the lake. It's mostly when everyone is out on the strip at night. I guess we can't wrap ourselves in bubble wrap for the rest of our lives.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Parry Quack!
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
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You did a wonderful job with this poem! All those ten dollar words! But really I enjoyed reading this poem. I'm glad you are back safely and that you enjoyed your trip. We leave in two weeks for Lake Erie for a week of fun in the sun. LOL That virus is rearing its ugly head again here in the states and I'm kind of leery about going because of it. But, we are staying in a cottage right on the lake. It's mostly when everyone is out on the strip at night. I guess we can't wrap ourselves in bubble wrap for the rest of our lives.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Parry Quack!
Comment Written 28-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
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Hi Parry - i appreciate your comments and high rating very much.
A cottage right on the lake sounds lovely, but i can certainly understand some hesitation about getting out and about in these stressful times in your country.
I was delighted to see that your terrific poem won the Father's Day contest. Congratulations!!
As a matter of interest, while i was away on vacation in the RV campervan for 3,000 kilometres, we saw many, many Paradise shelducks and each time i thought of you ! xx
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Awwww! I'm so happy with all the friends I've made at RanStory! I kind of think about the virus if we keep oursekves wraooed up in a bubble, our immune systems will get weak and then everyone will be sick with something!
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
SSSSSStunning! breathtaking imagery--elegant--gorgeous--time metaphor masterfully woven throughout. Lovely alliteration and internal rhyme. Cheers. LIZ (Welcome back to reality.)
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
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SSSSSStunning! breathtaking imagery--elegant--gorgeous--time metaphor masterfully woven throughout. Lovely alliteration and internal rhyme. Cheers. LIZ (Welcome back to reality.)
Comment Written 28-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
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Super review, thank you! I'm pleased to be back; it was such a bummer when my computer expired and I couldn't write.
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello Lisa!
A very moving and introspective offering.
This line deeply resonated with me:
"We don't mark time - time marks us."
So many events happened to you and your loved ones/acquaintances while you were gone. Put much of what you wrote into perspective.
Thank you for sharing!
diane
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reply by the author on 27-Jun-2020
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Hello Lisa!
A very moving and introspective offering.
This line deeply resonated with me:
"We don't mark time - time marks us."
So many events happened to you and your loved ones/acquaintances while you were gone. Put much of what you wrote into perspective.
Thank you for sharing!
diane
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2020
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Thanks for your review, Diane.
It almost feels like we have to be punished for enjoying a good time while we were away.
Comment from lyenochka
Your signature puns shine through this otherwise profound reflection on time's fleeting. (I liked the use of "seconds" and the "minutiae of our movements."
Sorry to hear about the funerals that you had to return to. I guess it was Zoe's father who was in the hospital? So much to deal with after a vacation.
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reply by the author on 27-Jun-2020
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Your signature puns shine through this otherwise profound reflection on time's fleeting. (I liked the use of "seconds" and the "minutiae of our movements."
Sorry to hear about the funerals that you had to return to. I guess it was Zoe's father who was in the hospital? So much to deal with after a vacation.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2020
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Thanks for your review. Yes, it was Zoe's step-dad - she was his appointed 'carer' during the vacation but we found that he'd been hiding his pills, with a subsequent hospitalisation to get his illnesses under control again.
