Such Faith
Broken faith is a lot to ask...20 total reviews
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about our faith that have many obstacles that break down our faith and try to keep us away from our creator, that is the tiime we have to turn to our creator for help not away.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2018
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A very well-written poem about our faith that have many obstacles that break down our faith and try to keep us away from our creator, that is the tiime we have to turn to our creator for help not away.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2018
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Thanx for dropping by, Sandra -- as a teacher, the feelings behind this write truly came from experiences and observations. As a poet (we'll go with that for now - LOL!), I strive to present things in a way that does provoke folks to think....not in a bad or a good way, just to think! :) ;) So glad you enjoyed my offering here -- have a wonderful weekend! :) Yvette :)
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Powerful words here Yvette and I wish you luck with the contest, I particularly liked the last stanza a plea for belief in our faith, best wishes, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2018
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Powerful words here Yvette and I wish you luck with the contest, I particularly liked the last stanza a plea for belief in our faith, best wishes, love Dolly x
Comment Written 16-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2018
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Thanx for dropping by, Dolly -- as a teacher, the feelings behind this write truly came from experiences and observations. As a poet (we'll go with that for now - LOL!), I strive to present things in a way that does provoke folks to think....not in a bad or a good way, just to think! :) ;) So glad you enjoyed my offering here -- have a wonderful weekend! :) Yvette :)
Comment from pome lover
Your poem stopped me in my tracks,
I've read it over several times
I have some thoughts and questions, too,
Which I submit with rhymes.
The words you write seem to describe
A "faith" that dictates how one lives
To which free men would not ascribe
Nor welcome freely give.
I wouldn't dare make eye contact
With those who taunt and scoff, in fact
I, too, would move out of their way,
With violence like it is, today.
It seems to me if what they want
Is some response of kindness, then
To taunt and scoff, aggressively,
Is not the way one's trust to win.
Which "faith" are you referring to
That causes some to turn away?
And why do they think taunting would
A plea for help convey?
I truly don't mean to be rude,
Are Muslim kids your subject, here?
If so, it seems the life they planned
Was meant to foster fear.
Enough of that. I may be totally misunderstanding your meaning.
Your poem is beautifully written, but has left me, as you can tell, full of questions.
How on earth could one "break their faith?"
If I have angered or annoyed you, I apologize, but I would love to know to whom you refer, if you wouldn't mind explaining.
thank you,
pome lover
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2018
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Your poem stopped me in my tracks,
I've read it over several times
I have some thoughts and questions, too,
Which I submit with rhymes.
The words you write seem to describe
A "faith" that dictates how one lives
To which free men would not ascribe
Nor welcome freely give.
I wouldn't dare make eye contact
With those who taunt and scoff, in fact
I, too, would move out of their way,
With violence like it is, today.
It seems to me if what they want
Is some response of kindness, then
To taunt and scoff, aggressively,
Is not the way one's trust to win.
Which "faith" are you referring to
That causes some to turn away?
And why do they think taunting would
A plea for help convey?
I truly don't mean to be rude,
Are Muslim kids your subject, here?
If so, it seems the life they planned
Was meant to foster fear.
Enough of that. I may be totally misunderstanding your meaning.
Your poem is beautifully written, but has left me, as you can tell, full of questions.
How on earth could one "break their faith?"
If I have angered or annoyed you, I apologize, but I would love to know to whom you refer, if you wouldn't mind explaining.
thank you,
pome lover
Comment Written 15-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2018
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Thanx for dropping by, pome lover -- as a teacher, the feelings behind this write truly came from experiences and observations. As a poet (we'll go with that for now - LOL!), I strive to present things in a way that does provoke folks to think....not in a bad or a good way, just to think! :) ;) So glad it seemed to achieve that for you -- be sure to stop by anytime! :) :) Have a wonderful weekend! :) Yvette :)
Comment from Flyaway1
Terrific. Flows easily and tells a true story of how we are hard wired to our beliefs about ourselves. You used faith on the opposite sense to send a poignant message.
We have so much faith that we are less than or not enough.
How different our world would be if we had faith in our value. We are all valuable.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2018
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Terrific. Flows easily and tells a true story of how we are hard wired to our beliefs about ourselves. You used faith on the opposite sense to send a poignant message.
We have so much faith that we are less than or not enough.
How different our world would be if we had faith in our value. We are all valuable.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2018
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Wow!! Thank you so very much for those wonderful stars, ma'am -- I am honored that my writing moved you to award them. :) ;) ;) As a teacher, the feelings behind this write truly came from experiences and observations. As a poet (we'll go with that for now - LOL!), I strive to present things in a way that does provoke folks to think....not in a bad or a good way, just to think! :) ;) So glad you enjoyed my offering here -- be sure to stop by anytime! :) :) Have a wonderful weekend! :) Yvette :)
Comment from Old Soldier
This is very good. Draws one in and makes you think. I like the dark twist about ones show of intolerance being his faith. This is well written. You've got skills.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2018
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This is very good. Draws one in and makes you think. I like the dark twist about ones show of intolerance being his faith. This is well written. You've got skills.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2018
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Wow!! Thank you so very much for those wonderful stars, sir -- I am honored that my writing moved you to award them. :) ;) ;) As a teacher, the feelings behind this write truly came from experiences and observations. As a poet (we'll go with that for now - LOL!), I strive to present things in a way that does provoke folks to think....not in a bad or a good way, just to think! :) ;) So glad you enjoyed my offering here -- have a wonderful weekend! :) Yvette :)
Comment from Michele Harber
What an original take on the Faith prompt, and what a lovely point of view. I'm guilty myself of walking away from the homeless, and you're right that few people listen to their stories, or even accept that they have stories to tell. This is kind and thought-provoking, and reads smoothly with well-done rhymes.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2018
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What an original take on the Faith prompt, and what a lovely point of view. I'm guilty myself of walking away from the homeless, and you're right that few people listen to their stories, or even accept that they have stories to tell. This is kind and thought-provoking, and reads smoothly with well-done rhymes.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2018
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Thanx for dropping by, Michele -- as a teacher, this write truly came from 'inside'. As a poet (we'll go with that for now - LOL!), I strive to present things in a way that does provoke folks to think....not in a bad or a good way, just to think! :) ;) So glad you enjoyed the offering, ma'am -- have a wonderful weekend! :) Yvette :)
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You can definitely go as teacher and poet, Yvette - without the LOL. There's nothing wrong with making people think and, dare I say, perhaps change outmoded ideas.
Comment from Sugarray77
I love your verse that expounds on the dark faith, or assumptions others have because of past experiences. . The setting and pace were good and it flowed well throughout. Good luck.
Melissa
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2018
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I love your verse that expounds on the dark faith, or assumptions others have because of past experiences. . The setting and pace were good and it flowed well throughout. Good luck.
Melissa
Comment Written 15-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2018
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Thanx for the read and review, Melissa -- always enjoy having your input! ;) Take care and have a wonderful weekend! :) Yvette :)
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks how faith in God works for his life as he finds how her faith cherishes life and how their faith together makes miracle and you wish faith only should have inside ever; well said, well done. Keep Writing -- DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2018
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This speaks how faith in God works for his life as he finds how her faith cherishes life and how their faith together makes miracle and you wish faith only should have inside ever; well said, well done. Keep Writing -- DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 15-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2018
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Thanx for the read and review, DR ALCREATOR -- always enjoy having your input! ;) Take care and have a wonderful weekend! :) Yvette :)
Comment from lyenochka
What a totally fresh approach to what we normally think of as "faith." We usually think about putting our faith in God or others. But these in your poem have an adamant faith that others would would find them unlovable. Great call to reach out and dispel that kind of faith!
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reply by the author on 16-Nov-2018
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What a totally fresh approach to what we normally think of as "faith." We usually think about putting our faith in God or others. But these in your poem have an adamant faith that others would would find them unlovable. Great call to reach out and dispel that kind of faith!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2018
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Thank you, Helen, for your comments and your input -- your words of understanding are truly wonderful! :) ;) So many students and youth have the most damning view of others and how those others see them... that it truly has become their 'Faith in humanity'...and how horrible is that?! ;) ;) To compound to the divide, it comes out in their attitudes, their dress, their looks, their actions, (all of which are, many times, misconstrued). I honestly wasn't looking to try to fix anything with my write [as some seem to think], I was simply writing from a desire in my heart to see that miscontruence, if you will, altered. Thank you again, for seeing the reality behind my words ? have a wonderful weekend! :) ;) Yvette :)
Comment from Debbie Pope
I love your words:
Forged in flames you can't understand
All lives nothing like they had planned
Are these the children that you are worried about at school? For most troubled youth, this is their story. And people, especially young people, treat them as though they don't exist. It's easier that way.
Your insight into troubled lives is remarkable. They have no faith in mankind. The faith is to expect abuse or apathy. They know that will happen. Bullying and sarcastic comments are their defense and protection. They hide behind it.
I hope voters give your poem the reception that it deserves. It is sort of the inverse of what is normally expected. But that is your style, and I love it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2018
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I love your words:
Forged in flames you can't understand
All lives nothing like they had planned
Are these the children that you are worried about at school? For most troubled youth, this is their story. And people, especially young people, treat them as though they don't exist. It's easier that way.
Your insight into troubled lives is remarkable. They have no faith in mankind. The faith is to expect abuse or apathy. They know that will happen. Bullying and sarcastic comments are their defense and protection. They hide behind it.
I hope voters give your poem the reception that it deserves. It is sort of the inverse of what is normally expected. But that is your style, and I love it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2018
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Thanx for all your wonderful comments and such, MQ - they mean a lot to me, my friend. To be honest with you, this was one of those writes that I was almost compelled to complete...when I read the prompt and then started seeing most of the responses so 'devout' and 'personal' it just, for some reason, shot my mind in this direction: so much profession of personal faith [I'm NOT saying there's anything wrong with that AT ALL] and yet so much pain out there. And, yeah, much of the examples here come from students, past and present, or youth at a few of the places for which I have volunteered. They have the most damning view of others and how those others see them...and it comes out in their attitudes, their dress, their looks, their actions, (all of which are, many times, misconstrued) that it truly has become their 'Faith in humanity'...and how horrible is that?! ;) ;) I wasn't looking to try to fix anything with my write [as some seem to think], I was simply writing from a desire in my heart to see that miscontruence, if you will, changed. Thank you again, for seeing the reality behind my words -- y'all enjoy the sunshine down there! :) ;) Yvette :)
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I thought that your post was spot on. So many FanStory members have myopic visions of how things are and should be.
