A Leaf on the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "The End of Denial"Autobiography of abuse
18 total reviews
Comment from Thesis
Unfortunately, denial is a way to handle fear and helplessness. Wanting things to be right fosters this response because it paralyzes those faced with a need to act.
It's unfortunate that Mom didn't act for her first daughter. That is the real crime, but since she didn't want to believe it, it didn't happen in her mind. She had to face it when she caught her husband in the act.
Terrible that it happened, told well. Only one spelling issue.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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Unfortunately, denial is a way to handle fear and helplessness. Wanting things to be right fosters this response because it paralyzes those faced with a need to act.
It's unfortunate that Mom didn't act for her first daughter. That is the real crime, but since she didn't want to believe it, it didn't happen in her mind. She had to face it when she caught her husband in the act.
Terrible that it happened, told well. Only one spelling issue.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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Thank you for your kind review. I appreciate the hight rating too. You're going to make me look for the spelling error....no hints?
Comment from DecrepitOldBag
You have recounted this episode with chilling clarity. Once again, you have illustrated the passions of the moment together with the disgust and fear you felt. (How you refrained from beating him to death with the fry-pan I will never know).
All the best.
Kat
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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You have recounted this episode with chilling clarity. Once again, you have illustrated the passions of the moment together with the disgust and fear you felt. (How you refrained from beating him to death with the fry-pan I will never know).
All the best.
Kat
Comment Written 24-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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Thank you very much for your kind reveiw. Just between us, the thought did cross my mind.
Comment from Arkine
Well, it's good that they finally got out, but why didn't her mother acknowledge the abuse before? Why didn't she hit him with a frying pan when her daughter first told her about it? I don't know why people act that way. Maybe total denial, convincing herself that it wasn't true? Great chapter, a few things to look at:
["]What the fuck happened?" I demanded.
Mixed in with the ange[r] ,I f
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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Well, it's good that they finally got out, but why didn't her mother acknowledge the abuse before? Why didn't she hit him with a frying pan when her daughter first told her about it? I don't know why people act that way. Maybe total denial, convincing herself that it wasn't true? Great chapter, a few things to look at:
["]What the fuck happened?" I demanded.
Mixed in with the ange[r] ,I f
Comment Written 24-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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Denial is so much easier than accepting the ugly truth. Catchihng him gave her no choice but to finally admit what he was doing...Thank you for your kind review and I will immediately fix the error. AGain thank you for the hight rating.
Comment from Deejharrington
Excellent chapter! It was horrible but so real when the father crouching on the floor, smiling. I think I would have hit him with the pan. And then at the hotel room, when Valerie realizes her mom had believed her and had done nothing. Her mother's disbelief was an excuse for non-action, in Val's mind. Now she knows the truth.
Very powerful and well written.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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Excellent chapter! It was horrible but so real when the father crouching on the floor, smiling. I think I would have hit him with the pan. And then at the hotel room, when Valerie realizes her mom had believed her and had done nothing. Her mother's disbelief was an excuse for non-action, in Val's mind. Now she knows the truth.
Very powerful and well written.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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Thank you for your kind review. I appreciate your comments and high rating too.
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You are welcome and you deserved it
Comment from RaymondJohn
Your character's name is usually spelled "Colleen."
As I read this, it sounded very familiar to me. Have you posted it before? I like it very much. My wife works for a Sexual Violence Prevention unit at the Minnesota Health Department. I can believe a child victim would have these thoughts. Best wishes. Ray.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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Your character's name is usually spelled "Colleen."
As I read this, it sounded very familiar to me. Have you posted it before? I like it very much. My wife works for a Sexual Violence Prevention unit at the Minnesota Health Department. I can believe a child victim would have these thoughts. Best wishes. Ray.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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No, this is my first post of this. Sadly, it is a story that far too many could also write. Thank you for your kind words and also your high rating.
Comment from The Rivaling Mimic
I really liked this piece of prose. You managed to bring it to life through the imagery and I found the flow to remain steady throughout. There hadn't appeared to be any room for improvement.
The Rivaling Mimic
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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I really liked this piece of prose. You managed to bring it to life through the imagery and I found the flow to remain steady throughout. There hadn't appeared to be any room for improvement.
The Rivaling Mimic
Comment Written 24-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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Thakyou for your kind review. As I have said before, I sincerey appreciae you opinion.
Comment from chaswriter
Smurphgirl - Some people hang on to the hope the breadwinner is not doing the things they are doing to keep the family and life intact. Sad but true. I enjoyed your story with the interesting message and strong characters.
Here are some suggestions:
I occasionally called her to talk about problems with Daddy(,) but she was seldom interested in what I had to say.
I sat her down on the couch(,) and I went back into the kitchen to get her a glass of water.
"Come on(,) Shirley(. Come) back inside so we can talk about this," he begged.
Speaking my mind had never been a problem for me(,) but(,) for once, I had nothing to say.
I loved Colleen with all my heart(,) but it hurt knowing mom cared more for her than she ever did for me. I realized catching Daddy in the act must have jolted her into action(,) but that still didn't explain why she hadn't believed me when I tried to tell her what he was doing.
Hope that helps. Charlie
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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Smurphgirl - Some people hang on to the hope the breadwinner is not doing the things they are doing to keep the family and life intact. Sad but true. I enjoyed your story with the interesting message and strong characters.
Here are some suggestions:
I occasionally called her to talk about problems with Daddy(,) but she was seldom interested in what I had to say.
I sat her down on the couch(,) and I went back into the kitchen to get her a glass of water.
"Come on(,) Shirley(. Come) back inside so we can talk about this," he begged.
Speaking my mind had never been a problem for me(,) but(,) for once, I had nothing to say.
I loved Colleen with all my heart(,) but it hurt knowing mom cared more for her than she ever did for me. I realized catching Daddy in the act must have jolted her into action(,) but that still didn't explain why she hadn't believed me when I tried to tell her what he was doing.
Hope that helps. Charlie
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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Thak you for your detailed critique. I truly appreciate it. Thank you for your kind words and high ratting too,
Comment from rhymer1
Emotion well delivered in this vignette.
As tears (began to) stream[ed] down my cheeks,- authors have the habit of writing began to or started because they are thinking of the start as they write. Such should be edited out to punch up the pace. Also, you use passive voice to excess in this chapter.
slainte, rhymer1
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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Emotion well delivered in this vignette.
As tears (began to) stream[ed] down my cheeks,- authors have the habit of writing began to or started because they are thinking of the start as they write. Such should be edited out to punch up the pace. Also, you use passive voice to excess in this chapter.
slainte, rhymer1
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2009
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Thank you for you helpful critique. I will look over the chapter gain to see what I can do to improve it. Thank you for your kind review and high rating.