Comment from Walu Feral

Excellent

G'day Dean. Finally mate, I get to read your scary work again. Your presentations are always the best on here and your stories, by far, are still the creepiest. This one reminds me of an ex of mine lol.

Fantastic job cobber.

Cheers Fez

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016

Thanks a million, mate! I appreciate you taking the time to read and review AGHAST, Fez. I'm very pleased that you enjoyed it, and I'm very grateful for the excellent feedback.
Take care...

Comment from jusylee72

Exceptional

Enjoyed your scary message once again. It truly is ghastly. I haven't heard from you lately. I miss your critiques. They are so valuable to me. I have been writing so much now.

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2016

Thanks for reading AGHAST, dear jusylee, and for the awesome comments and exceptional stellar rating.
I apologize for the lateness of my reply. I am desperately trying to get caught up.
I appreciate your time, as well as your thoughtful support, as always.
More than any of that, I'm just damn pleased that you enjoyed it.
~Dean :}

Comment from Spitfire

Excellent

Sounds like bullfrogs (I'll get my BB gun) and those wretched crickets. A third sound I couldn't figure out. Somewhere there is a gurgle like sound. Maybe a corpse letting loose a fart. There's your gas!
Effective repetition. I love that word "aghast".

greenish glow -- touch like poison. Yeap, she's radioactive. You're dead meat. Smile.

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016

I know, right? But what else is new, Shari?
I'm already "dead meat", heh-heh.
Thanks bunches for the fun review and comments.
~Dean ;}

Comment from Marykelly

Excellent

This poem has a very eerie aura about it. The description of the swamp is vivid and the green glow suggests the supernatural. I'm not sure if the SHE is supposed to be a ghost or the remains of someone that surfaced in the swamp. In either case the figure captures you and stays with you long after you leave the place. If creepy is the tone you're going for...you got it.

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016

Creepy...eerie...horrifying (that would be even better!)...any and all of those feelings were what I was striving for in this poem, Mary.
Thank you for letting me know I have succeeded in doing just that.
Take care, and thanks again.
~Dean

Comment from TAB_that's me

Excellent

Thanks Dean. i'm sure I will have pleasant screams tonight as I dream about the creature in the swamp.

Wonderful octogram. I just wonder how you can turn a lovely form into a scary poem:)

Teresa

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016

I can turn anything into a scary poem, Teresa. I won an Octogram contest last Halloween doing that very thing.
Thanks for reading.
~Dean :}

Comment from tony bronk

Excellent

Why does she want me so, Dean? Will I ever know? or will it only be for her to know? And just how deeply and tightly will she keep me there? Excellent chill, dean! Tony

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016

Misery loves company, Tony. Isn't that what they always say?
Thanks a bunch for reading.
~Dean :}

reply by tony bronk on 04-Jun-2016

That is what I hear, but, I don't like the clique! Tony

reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016

I know, me either!
~Dean

Comment from Dawn Munro

Excellent

I LOVE it! But I posted octograms yesterday and was corrected on my rhyme scheme, which I see you have repeated...

Here is the rhyme scheme I was told is the one Sally intended for the octogram:

Rhyme scheme: aBabccbB ababddbB

There are 4 "a" rhymes in lines 1, 3, 9, and 10.

There are 6 "b" rhymes in lines B2, b4, b7, B8, b10, b12, b15, and B16.

There are 2 "c" rhymes in lines 5 and 6.

There are 2 "d" rhymes in lines 13, and 14.

The capital B indicates an exact repeating line as found in lines 2,8, and 16.

Call it a modified octogram and it's wonderful! LOL.

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016

Okay, Dawn. Will do.
I don't see how it's modified from sally's intended original form. I've read scores of her Octograms. But, if you say so, then so be it.
Thanks very much for your review.
~Dean

reply by Dawn Munro on 04-Jun-2016

Oh, it's Joy who corrected mine - please don't change anything yet because I am SOOOO confused right now - but have a look at Gloria's.

I also have a new one I will be posting in the next few minutes (called "Pool Shark"), but I don't know if this one will meet the requirements either...LOL

reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016

I just stated in the description that the poem is a "slightly modified" Octogram is all, Dawn.
I didn't change any of the wording.
I won a Halloween contest with an Octogram quite similar to this last fall, so I was surprised to hear you say it wasn't true to the form.
Oh well, it is what it is.
Thanks so much again...
~Dean :}

reply by Dawn Munro on 04-Jun-2016

Well, to tell you the truth, I was shocked I'd not written Tick Tock, My Clock OR Prissy's Octopus Poem correctly, since I wrote an octogram way back when Gungalo usually would catch any errors and let me know - I haven't been back to check on it, but I should...I was sure I knew what I was doing! LOL! Apparently NOT, because my new poem looks better (and it's up now - not promoted very much but I am worn out - can't work anymore tonight - need a BREAK!) LOL

reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016

Oh, I know all about needing a break, Dawn, LOL! I'm right there with you on that front.
I'll be sure to check out your poem before I go beddy-bye.
~Dean :}

reply by Dawn Munro on 04-Jun-2016

Thank you - you just did. :))

reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016

I try to be true to my word. At least as best as I possibly can.
You're very welcome. :)
~Dean

reply by Dawn Munro on 04-Jun-2016

I was being a smart as* , just saying you were too quick for me to keep up - i saw the review before the promise. LOL!!!

Comment from Unspoken94

Excellent

Only you could write with this class and style. I have
no sixes. Shame on you for not waiting until tomorrow.
This is such a gripping piece. I had a blind date like
this once. -Bill

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016

Hahaha, me too, Bill, and on more than one occasion.
I will be volunteering in area nursing homes all day tomorrow, so it was post it tonight, or wait until Monday.
I figured, what the heck, why not?
Thanks for the fantastic feed back, my friend.
~Dean

Comment from davisr (Rhonda)

Excellent

Whoa, I still have goosebumps all over. You have a way of mixing so many elements to your work, and I admire that. The words, alone, are good enough to scare the crud out of a person, but add the narrative and graphics, and you hit a home run!

BTW, congrats on the contest win, my friend,
Rhonda

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016

Thanks for reading, Rhonda.
I sure do appreciate it.
~Dean

Comment from foxangie123

Excellent

How did you know how to describe me so well Dean:) You Rock, Roll, Bounce, Throw, Four to the floor 455 Rocket engine, down right awesome dude!

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016

Hahaha...men's intuition, Angie, that's how, heh-heh.
Thanks for reading.
I do appreciate it.
~Dean :}