"26 Days"
(Trying to hold it)
Written on July 26th, 2019
Copywrite C. Fanstory 2019
'All Rights Reserved'

It's now April 2003 and this is the first day.
I need to know exactly what and why my only son Jason was taken and had to die?
And, why he is now gone?
...
It wasn't entirely the drivers fault?
(Brian Cole)
Or maybe not entirely the mother's fault who bought the car?
That was raced at Atco Raceway in Atco, New Jersey?
(Kim Cole)
...
Maybe me?
The father?
I most positively was trusting my 18 year old too early.
But he had two driver's licenses.
One to drive a car and the other to drive a motorcycle.
Was it Jay to blame or Fate and Destiny?
...
Too much to handle.
So the next 3 days, I would be trying to understand!
Yes, trying to figure out why I shouldn't join him and die!
And, the following full week or 7 days?
...
I got a peek but no clue?
And, I couldn't verify that Jason was involved or Brian too?
Rumour after the death that Brian Cole was involved...
A suicide pact?
A date?
Was there hate?
Why was Iate?
At Brian and Jason's High School.
(Southern Regional High)

****

After all what did Brian have to live for?
His alcoholic father who would die in a year?
Who couldn't give a s*** or his administrative mother Kim?
...
Was she involved in all of it?
Whom was in charge of the entire Scholastic sports Department at Southern?
The crazy kid's mother?
...
Whom cared more about that growing career?
Throughing toys to her depressed son, I hear?
Caring more about im-material things?
...
Fancy clothes...
Diamond rings?
Instead of Brian and his little brother?
If only the Angels above would sing?
After all, this was already becoming or had become a dysfunctional family?
...
Days 8 through 10?
Confused again and only more pain added more to the fear!
So confused but amused with the path of death...
Why not me?
Lord, suck up my very last breath!
...
So, now I decided to pray but not for an answer but for my death!
And soon someday?
But what way?
After all I was waking up each and every day miserable!
No more writing just cursing Christ to take me away!
And bring me to my only Son...
Jay!
...
Its two weeks now or 14 Days!
14 days but then there would be over 1,000 more?
Yes I was filled with grief thoughts of death and no relief!
..
So, I finally came to a realization and thought again that unity would possibly be possible?
But what should I do?
I seem to be haunted without you!
Until December 1st 2006.
...
I've decided that day...
Early morning...
And, tired of thinking...
And now it's time to do what Jesus couldn't or wouldn't do!
...
Warning Graphic!
So, I decided that even after sleeping three months with a butcher knife?
Out of my mind...
I would go in and replace my girlfriend the Butcher Knife and take a Seven Inch Serrated steak knife to myself five times...
The first two?
...
Hitting the Heart and valve...
Pain?
Never knew!
Then just a tap...
Slash of few...
After all?
My time was due?
The next three?
Slashing my neck!
(What the heck not yet?)
...
Missing the jugular and then?
Taking a bottle of pills!
(Depocoate)
That wouldn't do for me but the haunting remained and that was from 2003!
...
So now it seems like it would never end!
I would never find that last piece of the puzzle?
Nothing but the crust of the pizza slice!
No butter on my bread...
Better off dead!
...
Day 15.
I knew what I now needed to do after coming out of my tremendous grief!
I was writing again very vigorously and decided I would start a corporation Four businesses!
(RCL Enterprises of Ocean County)
...
For now?
April 2003 would be temporary over.
Why?
Because...
"When Sunrises Cry."
...
And yes, the Sun is setting but in this case?
That very last piece of the puzzle that I was forgetting?
That evasive Whopper that there was no netting?
...
This last and 26 day?
It was exactly what Jason knew he had to do!
The clue?
The name of His band!
Entitled...
"Four Ways to *Save!"
Approximate Word Count: 748.