Old age is the devil saying, “Now I gotcha good!”
It’s payback for the fast life I once had.
I can’t say that I never did a single awful thing
But on the whole, I don’t think I’m so bad.
 
 
’Long comes Arthur Itis who I didn’t want a’tall—
Came without an invite on my part;
I used to love the two-step, now I gotta learn a new step
’Cause it seems I’m always needin’ a jump-start.
 
 
Climbin’ stairs has come to be a challenge for me now,
Same with getting’ in and out of cars
If it don’t get no better, I think I’ll become a setter
On all the nice high stools in singles bars.
 
 
 Refrain
 
Arthur Itis ain’t no fun
Send him back where he came from
I don’t want him ’round here, messin’ up my life;
Makes me look like I’m an old fart
Like I’m readyin’ to de-part
And I just got finished off-loadin’ my wife!