General Script posted April 4, 2025

Chapters:

...4 5 -6- 7

Excellent

a script

A chapter in the book Scene at a Cast Meeting

Scene at Cast Meeting 6

by Bill Schott

Pons as Himself   Ned as Hisself     Pez as The Law     Pallas as Hamburger Victim  Lisa (Felix's girlfriend) as Public Defender Fox  as Felix Fine, PI     Felix  as Fox Fine, PU    Matt as Witness Jiffy as Second Witness GED (Ned's clone) as Suspect Lois (Fox's girlfriend) as coroner  Scar (Pons' clone) as The Mayor DED as Himself  (Agent of Death) ============================================================ Last scene:  Pez:  The victim's name was Ced Cadaver.    Lisa: A friend I have in Washington says that CED is Latin for "go".   Felix: Go -- Cadaver; go, go cadaver!   Lisa: Felix, please! A man is dead.   Pez:  According to the coroner, Ced Cadaver is a woman.  .  ============================================ The scene opens at the morgue.  Dr. Lois Loon, Pez, and Fox Fine stand upstage of the victim, who is on a slab, looking downstage.   Bill: Okay, Pallas is the victim, obviously --   Laughter breaks out off the set as everyone reacts to Bill's statement, along with a couple random "Obviously"s.   Pallas: (complaining through thick makeup, making mumbling noises)    Bill:  Lois will begin her technical processing of the corpse aloud into the hanging microphone, while the sheriff and a private investigator comment about the crime. Action!   Lois: Thank you, Sheriff, for completing your interview as I examine the body.   Pez:  Certainly, Doc.  With the exception of this stinky carcass and the ice box temperature in here, it's my pleasure.    Fox:  Glad I chose to wear my long underwear today.    Pez:  Right. They look swell with the Speedos and tank top.    Lois:  I am Dr. Lois Loon performing an autopsy on a Jane Doe.    Pallas: (mumbling which sounds something like "I ain't a woman!)   Lois:  The entire extremedy of the body has been disrupted by both chemical burning and rasping with what seems like wire brushing along every inch.  There are two bullet holes in her chest and one in the hand.  I see Jane Doe's jaw is broken -- the lower jaw is completely shattered, split vertically, from some tremendous force. I can move the shattered pieces of her jaw in vertical directions.   I see that the bones in the right shoulder are crushed - again, from some strong and direct blow. Her internal organs were removed earlier, and that inspection revealed she had suffered internal injuries also. But one thing is certain: this frail woman has been beaten in an inhuman fashion. The blows that have so terribly shattered her bones -- I surmise she must have been beaten with chains, or a pipe -- they were in themselves sufficient to cause death. It is again impossible to say if she had died before she was shot -- the bullets have been removed in a first unrecorded autopsy, and the bullet tracts have been carefully excised so I cannot trace the path of the bullets.   Examining her skull I see it is crushed, too. The fracture is circular and depressed, from another direct blow. I can barely believe the destruction to these frail young bones. In my years as a pathologist and medical examiner, I have never seen bones so severely shattered, except in tremendously high speed accidents or airplane crashes. It was obvious to any first-year medical student that this woman had been beaten to a pulp. I have been conducting examinations of this type for years.   I involuntarily imagine the scene at the time this youngster received such a vicious beating to shatter her bones in this incredible manner.    Fox:  I just realized my clone cheated at the game that decided who was coming here or the jail.   Pez:  I'll be going over there in a few minutes; do you want me to tell him something.   Fox:  No, but Dr. Loon may need to check over another puke bag like Janey here. His name will be Felix.   Lois:  Say hi to my sister, Lisa. She is interviewing the suspect of this murder.    Fox:  He must be a chunk of horror spit right out of hell.   Pez:  It's Ned's clone, GED.   Fox:  Well, I seem to remember GED becoming a zombie last summer and he ate the brains of at least one person during Ned Nuckledd's Presidential run.   Pez:  That seems a bit far-fetched, Fox. I mean -- a zombie?    Fox:  If you factor in Ned Nuckledd running for President, it all seems to work together.   Offset   Ned: Them boys is havin' a lot a fun talkin' 'bout me. I hope one a them ain't who ya lookin' fer taday.    DED: Not to worry, Ned. None of your friends or acquaintances are in danger.   Ned: That's good ta hear, DED.  Though, I think Fox there could use a "come-ta-prayer meetin'" moment.   DED: I will give him a daydream of repentance.   To be continued...     Write A Review Image from Google Pays one point and 2 member cents. You need to login or register to write reviews. It's quick! We only ask four questions to new members.