Ranti-o

             We live in a crazy world where we are constantly on the go and lose track of what is important. Then, when we stop, instead of taking a moment and breathing in this world's wonder... by default, we feel lonely and depressed. I feel like we are stepping backwards in time, after so many years since humanity existed, we learnt to be singular entity floating in the unknown.

            In the beginning, we started this world as a pair; closeness gave us hope and dreams. Now, we live on lonely planets, and we focus on things that don't matter. So, starting today, I will purge and cleanse my reality. No more wasting time on social media; how will this world be better if I like a cat picture? I really like my cats; they are just in front of me. So, instead of clicking on a lifeless screen, I can have the real thing that comes with names, a heartbeat, a fuzzy feeling and lots of real love. Am I preaching to the choir? Have you lately felt lost and with zero will of doing anything? Well, I can relate to this. After my divorce, I hid for a couple of years in my house, and my routine was work, work, school, work.  But this March, it hit me. Life must be lived and appreciated.

            In March with the grace of God, I took a bold step and left my comfort zone and decided to visit one of the places on my “Book it List”, Roatan, a beautiful coral island across from Venezuela and part of Honduras. Why I was so scared? For starters, at my work, we are supposed to take off only in the summer, but I took a risky business approach: book it and pray that I can get away under the disguise of the school break. My other fear was flying from Toronto. For me, the travel time was double compared to the people from the Toronto area, as I had to fly from Edmonton to Toronto, and everybody knows how reliable the flights are from here on all of our internal carriers. But I was lucky; my vacation booked through Sunwing gave me flights with WestJet directly from Edmonton, so at least I didn’t have to hustle on my own to arrange for a second flight outside the package as I have to do for my next adventure.

           What did I discover from this step? Fear of the unknown keeps us prisoners in our bubble. Once you dare, there are solutions at your fingertips, and soon enough, you’ll be your own navigator to the complexity of life. Do I like to fly through Toronto? Nope! But now my fear is less aggressive, as I am saying to myself every time I get out of my comfort or, as I call it, my lazy zone, you know how to read, so read the damn sign and follow directions. If you get lost, no problem, ask the people in charge of the airport. My advantage, I can bullshit in other languages; if I am in the Caribbean, I am good; my pseudo-Spanish combined with Italian and Romanian works. I can do exceptionally well in the French zone. I am also okay in Slavic country, and I can say a few words in German and Hindi; the rest is a work in progress that involves lots of pointing and gesticulation, aka fake sign language. I will be the Queen of the world for a week as I am recharging my batteries to work hard for another couple of months and get another escapade.

           Open yourself to new possibilities. I did, and once you do that, life becomes interesting again, leaving no room for depression or boredom. I have a lot of debt, and I'm still single, but it doesn't bother me anymore because I can engage in activities that are dear to my soul on a low budget.

            Thanks to a dear friend I met in Roatan, I overcame my fear and started snorkeling in deep waters. I discovered I could swim 5 meters across the open water in just 5 seconds if a boat crossed my snorkeling path. The highlight of my newfound freedom was snorkeling at night, which is quite an adventure because you have no idea what you might be swimming towards.

             I had to navigate through what felt like floating mines—sea urchins that display fascinating migration patterns at night—and I encountered some giant fish that made me feel like a baby orca swimming beside them. To do this safely, it's important to have a good waterproof flashlight. Unfortunately, I did encounter a silly jellyfish that interrupted my adventure, and I missed seeing a real octopus, like the one my friend Betty spotted.

            This, dear to my heart and friend, also reminded me of something valuable. “When you return to Edmonton, try to find some local groups for hiking, dancing, and concerts.” So, I did; I discovered Meet Up, enjoyed some decent hikes, and made new friends with whom I go dancing. Then, in September, I stumbled upon another site called All Events, either by mistake or perhaps by divine grace, and there is always something happening in the city. I can catch a new play for just two bucks, dance for free, or meet new people and have fun without worrying about being misunderstood.

            Thanks to one of my newfound friends on Meet Up, I was introduced to a fantastic dance studio where I spend three days a week learning new dance styles for a few hours. Every time I walk into that studio, no matter how tired I am, I enter a parallel universe where I can feel the ocean breeze and feel the sun landing gently for a nap after a busy day. When I dance, I feel like I can do anything. There’s no more depression or sadness, and I’m never alone. I feel at home during those hours because we are like a beautiful family. We all arrive tired before class, but we are all happy and laughing as soon as we start the lesson. By the end of the class, we linger around because we want to spend more time practicing and giggling.

            Unfortunately, due to my pumpkin situation, I must leave around 10 PM to catch the last blue limousine, aka bus, that will take me home to my cats. I know I’m not the best pet mom. For the past three months, my home has looked more like a transit area, as I’ve only been going home to sleep, as I’m out from 6:20 AM until midnight, a couple of days per week, so my poor babies overcompensate during the weekend... well if I am home.

            I am not running from reality; I am working to improve it. Open your eyes to the possibilities, live your life with curiosity, and keep your soul pure and your heart young. If something wrong comes your way, take a deep breath, shake it off, pray, and be thankful that you are alive. You can overcome any adversity. Remember that it is up to you to be happy, and you can change your destiny.

             If you don’t have that dream partner, it’s okay; perhaps your destiny is to shine among others and accept who you are. Don’t fake it—live according to your heart and smile in the face of those who try to bring you down. Each person has their own journey, so embrace yours and keep moving forward! Live your life with the same happiness you had in your twenties. The show must go on; you are the magnificent dancer who can touch souls. So, feeling depressed? Don’t be, I give you a thousand reasons to see it differently. Now I feel better.