| Satire Fiction posted April 23, 2023 |
  |
In Whatha H County
Kangaroo Frustration Court ~ KFC
by Debi Pick Marquette
Couples Courthouse Script Contest Winner
The settings for this script are simple.
(Just like the characters)
Very Simple
Location:
Whatha H County Courthouse
Kangaroo Frustration Court
Characters:
Wife: female spouse to husband
Husband: male spouse to wife (they make us specify that now)
District Attorney - DA (prosecutor and is representing wife)
Defense Attorney: (representing husband)
Judge: (unmotivated great grandson of the original Colonel himself, Judge Kanga-Roo)
Announcer: the guy with the microphone who tells whatha heck is going on.
You: the reviewer and the jury
(Announcer)
You are about to enter the Kangaroo Frustration Court in Whatha H. County. This may not seem like any other court you remember being in before, but I can promise that you will want to forget it as soon as you leave. After all, this is KFC, where they make it up as they go.
The court proceedings were held earlier today in a private session, but have since finished.
They aren't too much on the facts but love to assume a good case. And we all know what happens when we assume too much!
However, I assume the details of it are about to be revealed.
(Announcer continues)
Today's case involves a married couple of almost 5o years, who have an ongoing friction in their household. The husband apparently doesn't appreciate his wife's love of writing and he has actually admitted to despising all poetry.
They have both been questioned and cross examined, and this case will undoubtedly have many of you jurors on the 'offense'.
Let's listen to closing arguments.
(Defense)
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, this husband has lived for years with horrible memories and resentment from his exasperating English classes while in high school. These memories seem to have left him with an utterly disgusting hatred for poetry. Should this man suffer even more for something beyond his control?
She should withdraw her complaint, knowing he loves her for many other reasons. It's already been established that he does all the grocery shopping, a big share of the cooking, and even washes dishes to help out. He claims he just isn't capable of sharing her love for poetry!
Defense Rests.
(Prosecuting DA)
We have heard the husband's lawyer tell how much his client loathes poetry because of ill feelings for whatever reason from his English classes from high school. And to that, I say, hogwash and horse feathers......or was that chicken feathers?
(Announcer quietly whispers into his microphone)
"That actually makes sense coming from a court of law called KFC."
(Prosecutor continues) This man has no regard for what she cares about because it's always been about him. She put writing on hold for most of their life together, to be there for him and their family. She wrote only in a small amount of spare time for many years.
The best she gets is "That's nice" when she tries to tell him about winning a contest or any honors she has had. Maybe it is time for him to step out of the eighth grade and join adulthood. One more thing, Get over it!!
"All she asks for is a little recognition, support, and encouragement.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Yes, it has been established that he shows his love for her in other ways. But is that enough when she wants that connection of sharing this special part of her life?
I urge you to throw the book at him. What book, you ask? How about her poetry books! Sentence him to read them every day, out loud. Then maybe if he put his newspaper down long enough, he could clean out the narrow row of cobwebs in his brain to see there's more to life than the Farmer's Almanac.
“Prosecution rests!"
The DA sits down beside her client and quietly says........
"Honey, how would you like to go to DC with me next week?"
(Wife) Do you really think this case is that important? That we could help other women who need to have their interests and feelings cared about and their voices heard?
In Washington DC?
(DA) Haha, No... my husband would happily show you a little attention and respect for your writing.
But dang, I could use the shopping cook and dishwasher. Can I assume that he does housework too?"
I'll meet you in a room down the hall next week with a giant DC on the door.........
Divorce Court.
(Announcer ~ speaking to the jury and reviewers)
It is now your duty to not only review this case but cast your vote as to whether this husband is guilty or not guilty.
And since our Judge seems to be preoccupied with .........eh ......nothing, and just in case you get.... hung up, feel free to come up with any solutions.
Sorry, contrary to what that jokester Kangaroo told you, we are not handing out free buckets of chicken after you vote.
I assume that will not be a problem for you!
The settings for this script are simple.
(Just like the characters)
Very Simple
Location:
Whatha H County Courthouse
Kangaroo Frustration Court
Characters:
Wife: female spouse to husband
Husband: male spouse to wife (they make us specify that now)
District Attorney - DA (prosecutor and is representing wife)
Defense Attorney: (representing husband)
Judge: (unmotivated great grandson of the original Colonel himself, Judge Kanga-Roo)
Announcer: the guy with the microphone who tells whatha heck is going on.
You: the reviewer and the jury
(Announcer)
You are about to enter the Kangaroo Frustration Court in Whatha H. County. This may not seem like any other court you remember being in before, but I can promise that you will want to forget it as soon as you leave. After all, this is KFC, where they make it up as they go.
You are about to enter the Kangaroo Frustration Court in Whatha H. County. This may not seem like any other court you remember being in before, but I can promise that you will want to forget it as soon as you leave. After all, this is KFC, where they make it up as they go.
The court proceedings were held earlier today in a private session, but have since finished.
They aren't too much on the facts but love to assume a good case. And we all know what happens when we assume too much!
However, I assume the details of it are about to be revealed.
(Announcer continues)
Today's case involves a married couple of almost 5o years, who have an ongoing friction in their household. The husband apparently doesn't appreciate his wife's love of writing and he has actually admitted to despising all poetry.
They have both been questioned and cross examined, and this case will undoubtedly have many of you jurors on the 'offense'.
Let's listen to closing arguments.
(Defense)
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, this husband has lived for years with horrible memories and resentment from his exasperating English classes while in high school. These memories seem to have left him with an utterly disgusting hatred for poetry. Should this man suffer even more for something beyond his control?
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, this husband has lived for years with horrible memories and resentment from his exasperating English classes while in high school. These memories seem to have left him with an utterly disgusting hatred for poetry. Should this man suffer even more for something beyond his control?
She should withdraw her complaint, knowing he loves her for many other reasons. It's already been established that he does all the grocery shopping, a big share of the cooking, and even washes dishes to help out. He claims he just isn't capable of sharing her love for poetry!
Defense Rests.
(Prosecuting DA)
We have heard the husband's lawyer tell how much his client loathes poetry because of ill feelings for whatever reason from his English classes from high school. And to that, I say, hogwash and horse feathers......or was that chicken feathers?
We have heard the husband's lawyer tell how much his client loathes poetry because of ill feelings for whatever reason from his English classes from high school. And to that, I say, hogwash and horse feathers......or was that chicken feathers?
(Announcer quietly whispers into his microphone)
"That actually makes sense coming from a court of law called KFC."
(Prosecutor continues) This man has no regard for what she cares about because it's always been about him. She put writing on hold for most of their life together, to be there for him and their family. She wrote only in a small amount of spare time for many years.
The best she gets is "That's nice" when she tries to tell him about winning a contest or any honors she has had. Maybe it is time for him to step out of the eighth grade and join adulthood. One more thing, Get over it!!
"All she asks for is a little recognition, support, and encouragement.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Yes, it has been established that he shows his love for her in other ways. But is that enough when she wants that connection of sharing this special part of her life?
I urge you to throw the book at him. What book, you ask? How about her poetry books! Sentence him to read them every day, out loud. Then maybe if he put his newspaper down long enough, he could clean out the narrow row of cobwebs in his brain to see there's more to life than the Farmer's Almanac.
“Prosecution rests!"
The DA sits down beside her client and quietly says........
"Honey, how would you like to go to DC with me next week?"
"Honey, how would you like to go to DC with me next week?"
(Wife) Do you really think this case is that important? That we could help other women who need to have their interests and feelings cared about and their voices heard?
In Washington DC?
(DA) Haha, No... my husband would happily show you a little attention and respect for your writing.
But dang, I could use the shopping cook and dishwasher. Can I assume that he does housework too?"
I'll meet you in a room down the hall next week with a giant DC on the door.........
Divorce Court.
(Announcer ~ speaking to the jury and reviewers)
It is now your duty to not only review this case but cast your vote as to whether this husband is guilty or not guilty.
And since our Judge seems to be preoccupied with .........eh ......nothing, and just in case you get.... hung up, feel free to come up with any solutions.
Sorry, contrary to what that jokester Kangaroo told you, we are not handing out free buckets of chicken after you vote.
I assume that will not be a problem for you!
Couples Courthouse Script Contest Winner |
 Recognized |
#4 April 2023 |
Hahahahahaha! Ok, you caught me. Maybe not all fiction, as my husband really does hate poetry, but he does cook, do dishes and all the grocery shopping. (I just handle the Amazon shopping) He does support me as long as I don't feel the need to recite it to him very often. But it is more of a joke between us than anything. No friction and no DC!! And in return, I do hate his whiny old country music. And before you start assuming that I meant all old country music, remember I said, "whiny!" Lol
And the writer of the story really does rule the outcome, even in a case where you are voting, as I gave him the edge, the nicer lawyer and made him look better. Why would I do that?..Simple.... Because I love him!!!
In the remote possibility that someone never heard of it, the assuming references made are due to the age old saying; when you assume something you make an ass out of you and me. Ass-u-me
Pays
one point
and 2 member cents. And the writer of the story really does rule the outcome, even in a case where you are voting, as I gave him the edge, the nicer lawyer and made him look better. Why would I do that?..Simple.... Because I love him!!!
In the remote possibility that someone never heard of it, the assuming references made are due to the age old saying; when you assume something you make an ass out of you and me. Ass-u-me
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