The Interview

"So, miss, you maintain you are the Shulamite?"

 

"I do."

 

"Very well. To get down to particulars, in what way do you resemble a mare in Pharoah's chariots?"

 

"Well, you only have to look at me to see I look like a horse."

 

"And how is your stature like to a palm tree?"

 

"You can see I am top heavy."

 

"And how does your hair resemble a flock of goats?"

 

"Well, it grows very fast and it is smelly."

 

"And how do your teeth resemble a flock of ewes that come up from the washing - not forgetting that every one beareth twins and there is none barren among them?"

 

"You've got me there. I only have a few teeth left."

 

"Thank you, miss. You do not fulfil our criteria for the Shulamite."