Unfortunately, Maybelline Green had been given the wrong dog, a birthday gift from her least favorite cousin, Archibald Green, III. "Non-returnable," the gift tag warned in indelible ink.

Fortunately, she was a small breed.

Unfortunately, the schnauzer ate her mother's best Sunday shoes, and terrified Sir Cat.

Fortunately, her mother was patient and understood.

Unfortunately, the house plants were turned upside down at the same time the velvet couch pillow and Sir Cat went missing.

Fortunately, Maybelline found it buried out back. (The pillow, not Sir Cat.) A good scrubbing made it look new. (Again..., the pillow, as Sir Cat was allergic to scrubbing, or cleanliness of any sort.)

"Unfortunately, the dog is yours for life, Miss Maybelline," mother said, "and her pups!"

"Fortunately, the public library had a large section for dog owners, and Maybelline Green had a brand new library card.

From that day, Sir Cat was considered most unfortunate.