Boat That He Took to the Lake
A true quatern36 total reviews
Comment from Jacob1395
I know many people who are terrified of snakes. I think I'd be fine around snakes that aren't poisonous, but it's definitely the poisonous ones that would stop me in my tracks. An excellent piece Debi.
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
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I know many people who are terrified of snakes. I think I'd be fine around snakes that aren't poisonous, but it's definitely the poisonous ones that would stop me in my tracks. An excellent piece Debi.
Comment Written 06-May-2024
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
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Hi Jacob, and LOL, I used to chase the boys with them when I was little.
Of course I was pretty young then. But anyway they are just MN garden snakes so they aren't harmful, but all the men in his family were afraid of snakes. He is brave otherwise, especially when I see a spider that I hate. Then I am not so brave.
Thanks for your fun review and comments, my friend. Love, Debi
Comment from Shanbreen
I have never been one for snakes but you have penned their existence with humor--- perhaps I'll change my mind. Yours is the first quatern I have read and Il liked the rhyme and the flow. Well done.
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
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I have never been one for snakes but you have penned their existence with humor--- perhaps I'll change my mind. Yours is the first quatern I have read and Il liked the rhyme and the flow. Well done.
Comment Written 06-May-2024
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
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Hi Shanbreen, and LOL, I used to chase the boys with them when I was little. Isn't that horrible?
Haha. But anyway they are just MN garden snakes so they aren't harmful, but all the men in my husband's family were afraid of snakes. He is brave otherwise, especially when I see a spider that I hate. Then I am not so brave.
Thanks for your fun review and comments, my friend. Love, Debi
Comment from gansach
I just had the experience of reading a quatern so I knew what I was seeing here. This poem has that touch of humor which makes it whimsical and easy to picture. I had to go back and read it again for my mind kept wanting to insert "a" before boat that threw off my syllable count, but once I corrected my brain, the rhythm was perfect. I enjoyed this one. Well done, my friend! (I, too, hunted grass snakes with my brother--the joys of being raised with boys, hmm--I feel a quatern coming on).
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
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I just had the experience of reading a quatern so I knew what I was seeing here. This poem has that touch of humor which makes it whimsical and easy to picture. I had to go back and read it again for my mind kept wanting to insert "a" before boat that threw off my syllable count, but once I corrected my brain, the rhythm was perfect. I enjoyed this one. Well done, my friend! (I, too, hunted grass snakes with my brother--the joys of being raised with boys, hmm--I feel a quatern coming on).
Comment Written 06-May-2024
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
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Thanks so much, Gail. You are a sweetheart. I feel a great friendship coming on. LOL. And I hope you do try the quatern. They are fun.
It might be a little late, but I added in my notes:
Please forgive my ungrammatical line of, "On boat that he took to the lake", as it was easier to deal with it on that line than to correct all my other lines that did not go well with "The boat that he took to the lake." Throwing it off meter was not an option.
Thanks for all the kind comments, my sweet friend! Love, Debi
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Perfectly understandable, I've done the same. It was only my mind playing tricks, once I saw what you'd done and readjusted my view, it was perfect.
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You know, not to be nitpicky, but I just re-read it again and "On a boat he took to the lake" works if you drop the "that". All other lines still stay the same. Just an observation, I don't mean to write your poem for you. I love it anyway.
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LOL, I tried that once and someone said it threw it out of meter. Only I had tried on the boat. If people would read it right and get the stress on 'a' then it works. But it seemed to throw off the meter somewhat if you don't. Can you see what I mean? Gosh, I do appreciate that you would try to help me with that. You are awesome. And never be afraid to tell me what you think. When I first came here I never knew about all the meters and now I cannot write without it. Thank you, Sweetie.
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You are very welcome. I am learning so much from the writers who review my work and from those whose work I read. I can be a bit of a grammar cop sometimes so just bear with me. LOL!
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🤗
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
My dad and sister were terrified of snakes. When 2 huge blacksnakes fell in the boat, Dad and Janet jumped in the lake. I pushed the snakes off the boat, and they shot out of the lake. I understood your poem from example, and this was a good poetic form to tell the tale.
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
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My dad and sister were terrified of snakes. When 2 huge blacksnakes fell in the boat, Dad and Janet jumped in the lake. I pushed the snakes off the boat, and they shot out of the lake. I understood your poem from example, and this was a good poetic form to tell the tale.
Comment Written 05-May-2024
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
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Awe, Carol, I loved your story about the snakes and the boat. Finally another woman who doesn't freak out at snakes. Yet, I admit to being horrible with spiders and beetles. LOL. Thanks for the fun review and comments, my dear friend. Love, Debi
Comment from hullabaloo22
The quatern sounds like a very challenging poetry form to use but you aced it with this one. And I see from your notes that it was based on facts which makes it all doubly impressive.
Well done, both with the poem and with dealing with the snakes!
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
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The quatern sounds like a very challenging poetry form to use but you aced it with this one. And I see from your notes that it was based on facts which makes it all doubly impressive.
Well done, both with the poem and with dealing with the snakes!
Comment Written 05-May-2024
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
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Hi Hullabaloo, and LOL, I used to chase the boys with them when I was little. Isn't that horrible?
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Oops, forgot the rest. Thanks for the kind review and comments. Love, Debi
Comment from Jasmine Girl
Haha. My husband and son like to play with snakes, the MN ones with sticks to make them angry. They were very cute with very big eyes. I think they were Garter snakes.
Well done.
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
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Haha. My husband and son like to play with snakes, the MN ones with sticks to make them angry. They were very cute with very big eyes. I think they were Garter snakes.
Well done.
Comment Written 05-May-2024
reply by the author on 06-May-2024
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Hi there, yes, that is what we have here. In fact you are from around here too, aren't you?
I used to chase the boys with them when I was little too, but I kinda gave up touching them unless I had to. LOL.
Thanks for the awesome comments my friend. Love, Debi
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Yes. I live in St. Paul and have a condo on Lake Superior.
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Now I remember. Sure and I am from by Buffalo. So you know all about those northern lakes. We used to have a cabin by Nisswa and husbands family by Park Rapids. Plus we vacation with our kids every year on Leach lake. But there is nothing more beautiful than your area. The north shore is my favorite. Thanks again, dear friend.
Comment from Terry Broxson
Debi, you know I am not a poet. I do find it interesting how you accept the challenges of writing new types of poetry. In this case, as usual, you adapted to something personal and even found a bit of humor. Nicely done. Terry.
reply by the author on 07-May-2024
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Debi, you know I am not a poet. I do find it interesting how you accept the challenges of writing new types of poetry. In this case, as usual, you adapted to something personal and even found a bit of humor. Nicely done. Terry.
Comment Written 05-May-2024
reply by the author on 07-May-2024
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Sorry this is so late, Terry. I thank you for the awesome review, my dear friend.
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Sorry this is so late, Terry. I thank you for the awesome review, my dear friend.
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Debi,
This quatern describes the scene well. I would skedaddle from that boat as fast as I could too. Maybe he should cover his boat at night. This would save it from the snakes and also from getting flooded with rain.
The repeating line doesn't seem to grammatically connect with the next the other lines in some of the stanzas.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Have a great rest of the day.
Joan
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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Hi Debi,
This quatern describes the scene well. I would skedaddle from that boat as fast as I could too. Maybe he should cover his boat at night. This would save it from the snakes and also from getting flooded with rain.
The repeating line doesn't seem to grammatically connect with the next the other lines in some of the stanzas.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Have a great rest of the day.
Joan
Comment Written 05-May-2024
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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Joan, I appreciated what you said about my poem, so I got p'd enough to change it back the way I had it. Now the lines go together, even if the first one isn't as grammatically correct, it is still better than the way it was.
Thanks again for helping me to make that decision.
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You're welcome, Debi. I read the new/old version. I like it better.
Joan
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Joan, you may not agree with me so much on my Minnesota Rant and our leadership. This is stuff that drives me crazy so I needed to get it out about our state. Some of it you may not even be aware of, but I hate the dishonesty in the government. And if you haven't watched the tape before I am sure you will agree that those poor cops have been given a bad rap.
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Debi, I don't see how this comment goes with your poem about the boat.
Joan
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Ooh, LOL, sorry, but I just assumed you saw my Rant about Minnesota is my latest post. Are we not fans of each other. I will check. I don't review much because I am so limited on my screen time because of having shingles in my eyes a couple years ago. So I even do my writing on a notebook with a pen and paper. Then add it to the iPad when it is figured out. But I only can handle short periods and my eyes sting so bad, so my eye doc says limited. That is about enough to post and thank people so I have to pay out of pocket for promoting, One of these days tho I may surprise you and come see your writing.
Comment from Dr. Nad
Well Debi this one was pretty funny. I'm sure it wasn't funny to your husband, but it sounds like he wasn't bitten by a poisonous snake. It is interesting how you can take the demanding, the monotonous, the momentous, the monumental, and the meaningless and we've them all into rhyming narratives that celebrate life and those who live it. Thanks again sis.
reply by the author on 07-May-2024
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Well Debi this one was pretty funny. I'm sure it wasn't funny to your husband, but it sounds like he wasn't bitten by a poisonous snake. It is interesting how you can take the demanding, the monotonous, the momentous, the monumental, and the meaningless and we've them all into rhyming narratives that celebrate life and those who live it. Thanks again sis.
Comment Written 04-May-2024
reply by the author on 07-May-2024
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Hi Dan, and LOL, I used to chase the boys with them when I was little. Isn't that horrible? Haha.
But anyway they are just MN garden snakes so they aren't harmful, but all the men in my husband's family were afraid of snakes. He is brave otherwise, especially when I see a spider that I hate. Then I am not so brave.
Thanks for the wonderful six stars dear one. I appreciate you so much.
Thanks for your fun review and comments, my friend and bro. Love, Debi
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Sorry to be so late with my response. I have been away from fan story for nearly a week. You are most welcome.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, Debi, you are a brave women. I don't freak out but I would be afraid of a big one or a poison snake. It's good that you learn stuff from your brothers.
Your true quatern is so well written. I am not an expert but I like to read rhymed poetry.
Well done.
Love,
Marival
reply by the author on 07-May-2024
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Hello, Debi, you are a brave women. I don't freak out but I would be afraid of a big one or a poison snake. It's good that you learn stuff from your brothers.
Your true quatern is so well written. I am not an expert but I like to read rhymed poetry.
Well done.
Love,
Marival
Comment Written 04-May-2024
reply by the author on 07-May-2024
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Hi Marival, and LOL, I used to chase the boys with them when I was little. Isn't that horrible?
Haha. But anyway they are just MN garden snakes so they aren't harmful, but all the men in my husband's family were afraid of snakes. He is brave otherwise, especially when I see a spider that I hate. Then I am not so brave.
Thanks for your fun review and comments, my friend. Love, Debi
I sure hope all is ok between us and our friendship. I would be so devastated if any difference in opinions would change that. Especially since so many life experiences are different.
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I can't be friends, our core beliefs are too different but we can be colleagues. I will continue to review your work.
Gypsy
