• Rise of the Expendables

    Rise of the Expendables

    The clash between Will and Tony grows.
    from 4 reviews.
    General  Fiction

  • Just Like Artie Montgomery

    Just Like Artie Montgomery

    Will finds out Nysa does like him, and Grandpa gives advice.
    from 6 reviews.
    Young Adult  Fiction

  • The Secret of the Maze

    The Secret of the Maze

    Minos Maze is the only way to Helia Bluff. It has a secret.
    from 5 reviews.
    General  Fiction


TDLRasmar: I?m back at Fan Story again looking for some "eyes on" my writing. I have been using the local Junior College as a resource for review of my writing. I enrolled in the Senior Scholarship Program, which lets you audit a class for free if there is a spot available. It was a great program for me because it gave me 15-20+ captive reviewers for my submissions, and I have to say the JuCo audience is a tougher one than the Fan Story audience. Five stars was far and few between at the junior college. Lol. But, the kids gave me a lot of good ideas. That's what I am looking for here.
I guess everyone likes being told how great they are, but I would rather take a one star review accompanied with a good idea/suggestion than a five/six star review that tells me I'm the next Shakespeare. At any point, if someone reads a submission of mine and they get bored, please stop reading and make a note to tell me where the story lost your interest and if you have any suggestions, feel free to give them. It seems my stories keep evolving and I'm always changing them if I think it improves the story.
    Brett Matthew West: So agree with the last 4 lines, especially. Only wish there were more FanStorians who reviewed this way. -
    amahra: Welcome back. I came back after a three-year break myself. Sadly, many of my fanStory friends are no longer with us.
    -


TDLRasmar: tik tok - Wonder how long it will take for someone to notice?


TDLRasmar: I look for honest criticism. I would like to write things that people enjoy. If you don't enjoy what I write then I would appreciate knowing that. I would also appreciate any suggestions that could help me to improve.
    nor84: Be sure to put a note to that effect in your profile and on the pieces you post. Some reviewers look for it. -
    TDLRasmar: Thanks for the advice. I have tried to comply. In fact, many reviewers from this website have been very accomdating with constructive criticism. A hearty thanks to all. I'm a big boy and you can pretty much say anything to me with my taking offense. Sometimes I read something I wrote a million times and still miss obvious mistakes and awkward writing. Thanks again to all. -
    TDLRasmar: It took me a while to finish chapter 5. Been busy with work and little time plus it was a necessary addition after all the changes I made to chapter 4. Changes made as a result of all the great feedback I was given by other members of this site. I really do appreciate it. -
    TDLRasmar: Does anyone read this stuff? lol Except for nor it looks like I'm having a senile convesation with myself. -
    jgirlie152: First you have to get sick, or write a best selling novel and become famous. Then you will be everyone's friend. :)
    jgirlie -
    TDLRasmar: ahh, so that's how you do it. maybe I can get sick, write a top selling novel and die just before the second edition. Would that help? It's good to have goals. -