angelgirl27: I am back & looking forward to sharing stories, poems & ideas here in this wonderful community! I miss writing for such a Supportive family of writers! Xoxo 💖 |
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angelgirl27: Thank you so much for the comments! It really helped me get an outside point of view! I guess that I really want to be able to tell my family how I feel but dont know how to do it without sounding critical or hurting there feelings since I can get emotional when writing a letter. Any suggestions! I still desire there love and respect too! Thanks so much for that virtual hug Eliza M. You guys are the greatest!!! :) |
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angelgirl27: So sad today...my family is always getting together with extended family or doing things together and never invites me to come along. Does it matter much that I was adopted? I am happy they can do things together but sometimes I want to be a part of there fun, adopted or not I should mean something to them from all the years I've been with them! |
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angelgirl27: Went to the ER early this morning just got back...I was having chest pain and just wanted to get it checked out I have had heart surgery and it felt like the kind of heart palpatations I used to have. Anyway no need for alarm the doctor said it was most likely just skeletal muscular inflamation which has no known cause but most likely from my nightly situps-wonder if i'm doing them correctly...blush...sigh..he did also tell me I am low in patassium which is odd because I have been eating more bananas than I ever have all my life. He said it was most likely the colon cleanse I am doing that is depleting my patassium levels...so be sure to take lots of extra nutrients when doing a cleanse it doesn't only rid you of the yucky stuff if you know what I mean!!!! While there, the nurses assistant started asking Isaac and I about our mental health! Isaac of course has developed PTSD and anger managment issues because of his time overseas in Iraq. I told him(the nurses assistant) about my molestations as a child and the numerous adult attacks. He asked if they had been caught! I told him that one had finally been arrested not by me of course...I guess I had been too young to testify(movies that show 5 year olds testifying are definitely staged) He had been caught with yet another child after me and had already raped a small child prior to me as well. He most likely was an institutionalized man. There is much I could say about him but won't...so happy I will get my justice in Heaven in the end. God does show Justice much more fair than anything my febrile mind can conjure up!!! Anyway one thing he said really hit me tonight...."How do you deal with this?" What a question...I had no answer right then. I thought about it. How can any child deal with something so tragic. It isn't like losing a best friend, being robbed of material goods or even losing a home. You can always make new best friends, material goods and yes, even priceless pictures and heirlooms can be recovered or you can make new memories...but what about a soul? How does a soul that has been violated...murdered so to speak...ever recover? You can tell yourself it wasn't your fault...it was just a nasty perverted sex maniac who didn't care if he was going to forever destroy a child's self image and trust of men. Deep down I know I am still a child of God! He made me in his image. I have been through counselig since I was 5 years old. I know what they want to hear and reverberate it like a puppet but inside my soul...that is where it hurts the most...that is where my childlike "Little Mona" version of myself lies trapped screaming and crying and longing to be loved but a part of me doesn't feel she deserves that love...it says how could she have been so dirty? I feel clean and beautiful on the outside but the inside is where i fear to tread!!!! How can a grown man desire to rape and molest a small child who has not yet hit puberty? What goes on in the head of these sick monsters? Maybe I am Hating...but where is true justice then? Keep your children safe...watch what they do on the internet and when you are not there...know there friends. No matter if they get upset at least they will be happy in the end that you cared enough to keep them safe! They may not understand when they are young but will thank you that they made it to adulthood still a virgin for the one they marry!!! I wasn't killed physically...my body is still here but it's only a shell. My soul died so long ago and my innocense was stolen!!! You never truly get a second chance once you've been raped!!!! I cannot wait to walk with Jesus so he can take all the ugly pain away from me!!!! |
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angelgirl27: Love this quote by Marianne Williamson so true to our own humanity, also quoted by Keke Palmer in Akeelah and the Bee(a great movie I might add) "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually who are we not to be? We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same." |
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angelgirl27: Please stand up with me. I am starting to stand against a cause of pedophile internet stalking! It is something very personal to me as I was sexually molested as a child. Watch, "Megan Is Missing" Very scary and heartbreaking but a true account of 7 separate cases of child internet abduction. We need to protect these children from predators like that best we can. The time for too much privacy is over. We need to stand up to this. My petition is in two different locations. You can sign either one The link to the website is below! Please stand up to this with me and let your voice be heard before it's too late! |
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