Peach Of The Beach
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Peach Of The Beach (six)"Female lifeguard.
3 total reviews
Comment from tempeste
I enjoyed reading the latest chapters of Peach of the Beach .
First off , two words about the title , I love it ...it rhymes and it's enticing ..
maybe because I love peaches , not only the taste but the scent and the colour of the pulp and peal.( my father used to cut pieces of peach and soak them in his red wine Biggrin)
Unexpected but delightful the deer and doe spying on them ..
Your description of Polly is vivid.
I like the direction the narrative has taken ...
a stroke of luck that Polly not only passed-by but is also a mechanic who got their car working sufficiently so they could reach her station.
The narrative flows well and is highlighted with many descriptive additions
The warm soda spewed up
like a fountain.
like magic, in a flash...they disappeared into the trees like phantoms.
A deep copper tone sun tan
made her pudgy face look like
a ginger cookie.
With it's wings spread wide...
it floated on a liberty glide. ( this is my favorite )
Polly's repair shop and home are described well , the shattered tress, shrubs , the dusty surrounding
oh, the sign:
JAKE'S AUTO RECYCLES.
CA$H FOR YOUR CRASH.
That s brilliant !
Goes to show that a talented writer doesn't need to use violence ,vulgarity or nudity to keep a reader s interest alive .
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I enjoyed reading the latest chapters of Peach of the Beach .
First off , two words about the title , I love it ...it rhymes and it's enticing ..
maybe because I love peaches , not only the taste but the scent and the colour of the pulp and peal.( my father used to cut pieces of peach and soak them in his red wine Biggrin)
Unexpected but delightful the deer and doe spying on them ..
Your description of Polly is vivid.
I like the direction the narrative has taken ...
a stroke of luck that Polly not only passed-by but is also a mechanic who got their car working sufficiently so they could reach her station.
The narrative flows well and is highlighted with many descriptive additions
The warm soda spewed up
like a fountain.
like magic, in a flash...they disappeared into the trees like phantoms.
A deep copper tone sun tan
made her pudgy face look like
a ginger cookie.
With it's wings spread wide...
it floated on a liberty glide. ( this is my favorite )
Polly's repair shop and home are described well , the shattered tress, shrubs , the dusty surrounding
oh, the sign:
JAKE'S AUTO RECYCLES.
CA$H FOR YOUR CRASH.
That s brilliant !
Goes to show that a talented writer doesn't need to use violence ,vulgarity or nudity to keep a reader s interest alive .
Comment Written 17-Oct-2020
Comment from equestrik
This is fun as you develop a new friendship here with Polly and have her being such a bubbly and friendly person as well as a mechanic. Really enjoyable story.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
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This is fun as you develop a new friendship here with Polly and have her being such a bubbly and friendly person as well as a mechanic. Really enjoyable story.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
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HELLO EQUESTRIK: I thank you for your review. As usual you are appreciated. I'm pleased that you are enjoying my story. Again...thank you. God bless you. cordially: rhonnie69.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I thought this was well written. I have to admit at the start I was not clear on why they thought a hawk was Jesus. But it was an enjoyable read. Your writing is solid with excellent use of dialogue. Great job.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
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I thought this was well written. I have to admit at the start I was not clear on why they thought a hawk was Jesus. But it was an enjoyable read. Your writing is solid with excellent use of dialogue. Great job.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
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HELLO MICHAEL: I thank you for your review. You are appreciated. God bless. cordially: rhonnie69. P.S. Michael, if you'd like to read more chapters, you'll find them on my portfolio page...under: Peach Of The Beach. Thank you.