Renga Multi-Author Book
Viewing comments for Chapter 83 "Gazing Dreams of Spring"Renga is a Japanese linked poetry 5/7/5 and 7/7
10 total reviews
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written 5-7-5 in addition to the multi-author Renga book. We all need a break after a long day of hard work. A moment to relax and dream about Spring.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2020
  |
A very well-written 5-7-5 in addition to the multi-author Renga book. We all need a break after a long day of hard work. A moment to relax and dream about Spring.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2020
-
Thank you very much for understanding and for being such a great reviewer, I appreciate it.
Hugs,
Gypsy
Comment from juliaSjames
It's a wonderful seasonal mood poem, something truly satisfying in reaping what one sows ( if you've used the right seed).
But I'm a little confused, Gypsy. I can visualize what you wrote, the farmer smoking and pondering the future after the hard work of harvest is over. But I can't figure out why he's dreaming of spring. Well I can - but the concept doesn't seem to fit the poem.
Probably it's just me being obtuse today. It happens!
Stay safe healthy and blessed
Julia
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2020
|
It's a wonderful seasonal mood poem, something truly satisfying in reaping what one sows ( if you've used the right seed).
But I'm a little confused, Gypsy. I can visualize what you wrote, the farmer smoking and pondering the future after the hard work of harvest is over. But I can't figure out why he's dreaming of spring. Well I can - but the concept doesn't seem to fit the poem.
Probably it's just me being obtuse today. It happens!
Stay safe healthy and blessed
Julia
Comment Written 12-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2020
-
After harvest the farmer takes a break enjoying the break. Winter is time to wait, sometimes die, spring is time for rebirth and new crops, the farmer dreams ... Hopes for a good crop.
Haiku is about imagery and emotion, let go of your expectations and enjoy the ride ;)
Thank you very much for understanding and for being such a great reviewer, I appreciate it.
Hugs,
Gypsy
-
Thank you very much for being such a great reviewer, I appreciate it.
Hugs,
Gypsy
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A moment of reflection here as we gather the harvest and mourn the Spring and Summer as time cements the events in history, a deep write, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2020
|
A moment of reflection here as we gather the harvest and mourn the Spring and Summer as time cements the events in history, a deep write, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 12-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2020
-
Thank you very much for your review and kind words
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Vivid! I picture a chapped/rough-handed fellow smoking as he surveys the field, hopefully contemplating the coming of spring. I trust that is what you intend. Cheers. LIZ
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2020
|
Vivid! I picture a chapped/rough-handed fellow smoking as he surveys the field, hopefully contemplating the coming of spring. I trust that is what you intend. Cheers. LIZ
Comment Written 11-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2020
-
Yes, you got it! Thank you very much for your review and kind words.
Comment from Lighthouse Keeper
Wonderfully vivid and yet so brief. Great job using such a structured format and still making it feel fluid. It's very visual. Thanks for the explanation and offer to add to the tale. If I wasn't buried in designing my classroom curriculum I'd join in. Well done!
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2020
|
Wonderfully vivid and yet so brief. Great job using such a structured format and still making it feel fluid. It's very visual. Thanks for the explanation and offer to add to the tale. If I wasn't buried in designing my classroom curriculum I'd join in. Well done!
Comment Written 11-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2020
-
Thank you very much for your review and kind words. Good luck with the class :)
Comment from Gloria ....
And a fine addition to the Renga book this is. The farmer holding a cigarette while he gazes over the fields dreaming about next year country is a good one.
Excellent presentation and a pleasure to read and review. :)
Gloria
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2020
|
And a fine addition to the Renga book this is. The farmer holding a cigarette while he gazes over the fields dreaming about next year country is a good one.
Excellent presentation and a pleasure to read and review. :)
Gloria
Comment Written 11-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2020
-
Thank you very much for your review and kind words.
Gypsy
Comment from Mark D. R.
Gypsy,
One can really sense from your poem the farmer's large dried hands and the cigarette hanging from his lips, but I had trouble with the cig (sic) contraction. I, however, have no solution to the syllable count if the full word is used.
Mark
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2020
|
Gypsy,
One can really sense from your poem the farmer's large dried hands and the cigarette hanging from his lips, but I had trouble with the cig (sic) contraction. I, however, have no solution to the syllable count if the full word is used.
Mark
Comment Written 11-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2020
-
Some people say cigs, it's unusual but I like the sound. Thank you very much for your review and kind words.
Comment from lyenochka
Great job with this picture of the farmer after the hard work of harvesting. Now he can dream about spring. In life, we have those seasons of having completed a big project and preparing for the next.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2020
|
Great job with this picture of the farmer after the hard work of harvesting. Now he can dream about spring. In life, we have those seasons of having completed a big project and preparing for the next.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2020
-
Thank you very much, Helen, for your review and kind words.
Hugs,
Gypsy
Comment from royowen
It's been many year since I had a smoke, but sometimes at quiet times with a reflective or thoughtful monuments to things and contemplation, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2020
|
It's been many year since I had a smoke, but sometimes at quiet times with a reflective or thoughtful monuments to things and contemplation, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 11-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2020
-
Thank you very much, Roy, for your review and kind words. It's been 25 years since I stopped smoking...best decision ever.
Hugs,
Gypsy
-
Well done
Comment from lightink
Oh dear, this is such an awesome follow up for Roy's lines.
"harvested fields rest" is wonderful fall image, then you top it with one that could be understood either as the farmer or a humorous celestial reference:
"as large dried hands hold a cig --"
(for me the clouds totally look like cigs :)
And then a lovely loop to the upcoming but far away spring (either through the eye of the farmer or the 'rebel' type god:
"gazing dreams of spring"
Lovely, ripe poem!
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2020
|
Oh dear, this is such an awesome follow up for Roy's lines.
"harvested fields rest" is wonderful fall image, then you top it with one that could be understood either as the farmer or a humorous celestial reference:
"as large dried hands hold a cig --"
(for me the clouds totally look like cigs :)
And then a lovely loop to the upcoming but far away spring (either through the eye of the farmer or the 'rebel' type god:
"gazing dreams of spring"
Lovely, ripe poem!
Comment Written 11-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2020
-
Cheers to rebellious God....!!! LoL Thank you very much, Jyoti, for your review and kind words.
Hugs,
Gypsy
-
LOL! Yep, I love that image ;)