Where Are All The Children
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Almost Home"A vigilante takes down trafficing rings.
15 total reviews
Comment from Eternal Muse
This was a good story. It had wonderful descriptive imagery and visuals. Excellent narrative. Your characters are well defined; and I liked your use of a dialogue.
Thank you very much for sharing.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
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This was a good story. It had wonderful descriptive imagery and visuals. Excellent narrative. Your characters are well defined; and I liked your use of a dialogue.
Thank you very much for sharing.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
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Thank you so much for reading my chapter and for your encouraging comments. It's always greatly appreciated, stay safe.
Comment from Cindy Warren
I can't think of a punishment that would be enough for a cop on the take for these bastards. It's a major betrayal of the people they're supposed to be protecting. If I had my way, the punishment for them would be public, painful and humiliating. I'd make child abuse or enabling it not worth the risk.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
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I can't think of a punishment that would be enough for a cop on the take for these bastards. It's a major betrayal of the people they're supposed to be protecting. If I had my way, the punishment for them would be public, painful and humiliating. I'd make child abuse or enabling it not worth the risk.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
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Thank you so much for reading my chapter, and for your opinion. You're right, it is a betrayal of their civic duty. I think they all should be publicly humiliated, castrated. Then put the video on the web for the rest of the world to see. Off with their head, lol.
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement and friendship. It always means a lot to me, take care.
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
How maddening that the police wouldn't believe her. I'm sure that happened, especially years ago. I think of those girls in Co who were held by that man and the neighbors called the police because they felt something was wrong. If they had just investigated those girls could have been free so much sooner. Very Sad. Well done my dear.
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2020
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How maddening that the police wouldn't believe her. I'm sure that happened, especially years ago. I think of those girls in Co who were held by that man and the neighbors called the police because they felt something was wrong. If they had just investigated those girls could have been free so much sooner. Very Sad. Well done my dear.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2020
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Thank you so much for such a kind review, and for reading my story. It is a shame he didn't believe her. So many lives could've been saved if he had. The incident in Co was sad.
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement, friendship. It always means so much to me, take care.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
I coped very wzll with the 1992 part of this story, but I couldn't work out how that hung together with the present day. I am confused.
SPAG
I wanted to take in everything I can>I want to take in everything I can (tense consistency)
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2020
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I coped very wzll with the 1992 part of this story, but I couldn't work out how that hung together with the present day. I am confused.
SPAG
I wanted to take in everything I can>I want to take in everything I can (tense consistency)
Comment Written 12-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2020
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Thank you so much for reading my chapter, and for catching my mistake. I am sorry it left you so confused. Anna is telling her story in the present. Her thoughts go back to 1992 when this horrid tragedy happened to her. I'll go back and see if I can't make my intentions clearer.
Thank you so much for reading my chapter. It's always greatly appreciated, take care.
I added this to the first paragraph hoping it'll help. What do you think? her mind drifts back to that horrid time.
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it helps a lot. Thank you
Comment from Sugarray77
This is very good writing, Misty. You have a way of drawing the reader in to the depth of misery and horror that the main character has been through. The length of the story is perfect and the pace is good too. Well done!!
Melissa
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2020
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This is very good writing, Misty. You have a way of drawing the reader in to the depth of misery and horror that the main character has been through. The length of the story is perfect and the pace is good too. Well done!!
Melissa
Comment Written 12-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2020
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Thank you so much for such an encouraging review. I'm so glad you could empathize with Anna, her situation, her pain. That means a lot to me. My goal was to make her realistic, hard to forget.
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement and friendship, It always means the world to me, take care.
Comment from Mia Twysted
I can feel her pain as she tells her story. You create such a vivid picture that I feel like I was with her when they drug her back. How the police didn't believe her is crazy, but in truth that happens all to much.
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2020
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I can feel her pain as she tells her story. You create such a vivid picture that I feel like I was with her when they drug her back. How the police didn't believe her is crazy, but in truth that happens all to much.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2020
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Thank you so much for your encouraging review. I'm so glad you had empathy for Anna, that she's really coming to life for you. The cop could've saved a lot of lives if he didn't believe what he was told.
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement, and friendship. It always means the world to me, take care.
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Your emphasis on how close she is with the reader holding their breath also served as a foreshadowing. Great work. It reminds me of the story Occurrence at Owl Creek bridge. If I've told you about it before I apologize. I am going to include the link at the end here. It's good you show how high up this trafficking goes. More goose bumps. I love how you make it so real with the change of language every once in a while. You've done some serious research. I have to give you A+....wow.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGogcQ4Wl7I
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2020
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Your emphasis on how close she is with the reader holding their breath also served as a foreshadowing. Great work. It reminds me of the story Occurrence at Owl Creek bridge. If I've told you about it before I apologize. I am going to include the link at the end here. It's good you show how high up this trafficking goes. More goose bumps. I love how you make it so real with the change of language every once in a while. You've done some serious research. I have to give you A+....wow.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGogcQ4Wl7I
Comment Written 12-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2020
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Thank you so much for such a fantastic grade, you've made my week. Thank you for sending me the link. I will be sure to look into it. I'm hoping to break the fictional picture of who the traffickers are, show they come from all walks of life.
Thank you again for all your help, support, friendship, and encouragement. It always means so much to me, take care.
Comment from Shirley McLain
What a heartwrenching chapter. Human trafficking is so evil that's it's hard to wrap your brain around. I pray one day it will disappear but I have my doubts because of the evil of this world. You did a great job. Shirley
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2020
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What a heartwrenching chapter. Human trafficking is so evil that's it's hard to wrap your brain around. I pray one day it will disappear but I have my doubts because of the evil of this world. You did a great job. Shirley
Comment Written 12-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2020
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Thank you so much for a fabulous review, I am honored. Human trafficking is horrid. I can't understand how someone can be so heartless, treating people this way. I agree, I don't think it will end anytime soon.
Thank you again for such a marvelous review and for all your encouragement and friendship. It means the world to me, take care.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That is so sad. The fact that this is happening all the time, is just awful. Those poor children, they will never have a true loving life. If they do escape, what is even worse, they aren't believed! I can't begin to imagine the betrayal they must feel and can understand why they just give up. You are writing this with all the emotion I would expect for a story like this. I just hope that it is fiction, and didn't happen to you. Well done, my friend. Sandra xx
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2020
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That is so sad. The fact that this is happening all the time, is just awful. Those poor children, they will never have a true loving life. If they do escape, what is even worse, they aren't believed! I can't begin to imagine the betrayal they must feel and can understand why they just give up. You are writing this with all the emotion I would expect for a story like this. I just hope that it is fiction, and didn't happen to you. Well done, my friend. Sandra xx
Comment Written 12-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2020
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Thank you so much for reading my chapter and your kind remarks. This is fictional, but it was kind of you to be concerned. It is horrid what happens to these poor kids. What's worse is that a lot of the molesters are people they know, use to trust. Many who do survive, don't last long. They either die of STDs, OD, or commit suicide. Molested children are at greater risk of being trafficked.
Thank you again for your sweet review all your encouraging words, and friendship. It always means a lot to me, take care.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Mistydawn the way you wrote about the the horror of girls being treated like they were slaves. I well described especially this part shows that there is not a bit of compassion for these girls.--
"At the ripe old age of fourteen, my handler decided he needed some fresh meat. I along with several others were traded for prepubescent kids. I got to see a different side of human trafficking, modern-day slavery."
Gert
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2020
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Mistydawn the way you wrote about the the horror of girls being treated like they were slaves. I well described especially this part shows that there is not a bit of compassion for these girls.--
"At the ripe old age of fourteen, my handler decided he needed some fresh meat. I along with several others were traded for prepubescent kids. I got to see a different side of human trafficking, modern-day slavery."
Gert
Comment Written 11-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2020
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Thank you so much for reading my chapter and for such an encouraging review. The girls are nothing more than objects to these guys, a way to make a living.
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement and friendship. It means so much to me, take care.
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You are welcome Mistydawn
Gert
