The Wall
My Muse Found Me.5 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
This was excellent. I love this line: "They were free now, to become people in my stories." What a great image and concept. Your use of personification will draw the reader in. The reader if they are a writer may wish for such a valuable dream. This was delightful to read. This is a lot more gentle than my dream in my book Traffic in chapter 17 called Feathers.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2020
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This was excellent. I love this line: "They were free now, to become people in my stories." What a great image and concept. Your use of personification will draw the reader in. The reader if they are a writer may wish for such a valuable dream. This was delightful to read. This is a lot more gentle than my dream in my book Traffic in chapter 17 called Feathers.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2020
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Dear Liz Thank you for your review and the five stars. I promise to read the chapter called "Feathers" in your book "Traffic".This experience was for me as real as anything like it could be. For days afterwards I could feel Julian's voice repeating what he said as he vanished. His beautiful companion has come to me in a dream, twice. She just seems to float around as lovely as a butterfly and then goes off again. I think it's just a reminder to not give up the dream. I have named her Primrose which she seems to like.
cheers Cass
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My chapter is inspired by the experiences of some of the characters in my Gear books. Michael Gear.
Comment from C. Gale Burnett
I thoroughly enjoyed this story and could deeply feel the frustration of the one who was passionate about writing, got excited about it, but experienced the thought process, creativity and drive being diminished by interruptions and duties. Who of us cannot relate to not being able to put pen to paper when all is quiet and we have the time.
Wonderful story! Very best wishes!
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2020
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I thoroughly enjoyed this story and could deeply feel the frustration of the one who was passionate about writing, got excited about it, but experienced the thought process, creativity and drive being diminished by interruptions and duties. Who of us cannot relate to not being able to put pen to paper when all is quiet and we have the time.
Wonderful story! Very best wishes!
Comment Written 16-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2020
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Dear Friend, Thank you for your review and the five stars. Yes, you hit the nail right on the head with your expression of sympathy for the frustrated writer. It happened so many times in my life that I truly doubted whether it would really happen. I was ready to GIVE UP
COMPLETELY when I came upon FanStory and decided on one last throw of the dice. I told myself the answer had to be unequivocal. NO ifs buts or perhaps. If it's No then say so. If it's Yes we'll see what comes next. Well!!! The reviewer lyricised over the two poems I submitted, and the next two and the two after that, so I took it as a resounding YES!!! Now I have extended my efforts into prose and have (so far) managed more than one long(ish) story. My ambition is to write an Australian Historical novel set in early South Australia.
I have four or five plots all mixed up in my head, which need to be clarified, but the prospect of achieving my goal is exciting. I hope the response to my work will be as positive as it has always been, but FanStory hasn't let me down so far. All the best cheers Cass
Comment from Cynthia Adams1
This is such a wonderful, warm, spiritual and uplifting story.
The main character is accessible enough that all writers can identify with her. And when we meet Julian, we want to be her :)
I feel generousity in you as a person/writer. You are not just telling this story; you are sharing this story...there is a slight difference.
There are cliches here and there that prevent me from giving you 6 stars.
Men are always handsome in stories; what if he were not handsome but something else interesting in this one? There are 3 or 4 other cliches that I thought were a bit beneath you.
You are a very skilled writer and likeable author.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2020
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This is such a wonderful, warm, spiritual and uplifting story.
The main character is accessible enough that all writers can identify with her. And when we meet Julian, we want to be her :)
I feel generousity in you as a person/writer. You are not just telling this story; you are sharing this story...there is a slight difference.
There are cliches here and there that prevent me from giving you 6 stars.
Men are always handsome in stories; what if he were not handsome but something else interesting in this one? There are 3 or 4 other cliches that I thought were a bit beneath you.
You are a very skilled writer and likeable author.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2020
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Dear Cynthia, thank you for your review and the five stars. The difference between telling and sharing a story is very real in this case, as this was more of a non-physical experience than a figment of my imagination. Julian's voice DID reverberate in my chest and his lady friend WAS as beautiful as a butterfly. Just as a matter of interest, would you care to elaborate on the "cliches" you perceived in this piece? I would really like to know because if they ARE hackneyed bits of writing, I would wish to expunge them from my vocabulary. Wouldn't you? If you prefer not to comment further, that's fine by me. Thanks again for your time and trouble, your kind remarks are most welcome and generous cheers Cass
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Thank you for giving me the opportunity to read your enchanting story again. I have found it to be one of my favorites from FanStory. I hope I said that in my review.
About the cliche's...sometimes I get a stick up my ass (hope the language isn't offtensive) and I get stuck on something. Currently, I'm peaved with seeing story after story where men are always handsome and women are always beautiful. In truth, not everyone is so fine of face:)
This is the point: Even if a woman is beautiful and a man is handsome...show us, don't tell us. Describe how her hair curls over her full lips or how his strong hands make you wish he were sculpting you. You get my point. Describe characters and the reader will decide whether they are beautiful/handsome or not.
Comment from trimple
Hi there
This is an interesting write as you describe you initial thoughts about a footless soldier you bought and a mystical group you set-free from a cave. Ultimatley, these characters you feel were all trapped inside your mind and the action man became your editor in chief :)
A few things you may or indeed may not wish to consider as follows...
"Well, you did it when you woke up to yourself, dearie[.--comma] time's a-wasting and you have had us locked up in there for so long. We decided to set ourselves free[.--comma] all it took was a bit of determination on your part. The rest was easy. "
I was afraid to go in although I [knew/felt as if?] I needed to.
I tried to emulate the feeling she was expressing and found myself basking in a warm[ly --omit]approving smile.
He was very tall, with skin like oiled, black silk,--oiled black silk would become drab and loose its lustre... maybe just add the black silk?
[I--you felt] felt a pang of guilt at his words, [but he brushed it aside and said,?] This doesn't make sense to me.
Are we goin' to be free or will you let that wall [--grow up/build up?
His eyes were magnetic and his voice echoed in my chest in a [strangely/strange and? wonderful way. What strange and wonderful way?
a sweet face and a figure that was made for beautiful clothes.--nice description here.
"No[, Honey Chile,] you keep it. As a gift from us all.
They used to call me Killer McCallum," he said in a clipped, military voice.--nice
"Yes," I said[,--.] Julian's medallion was warm against my bosom under my favourite blue jumper."Yes, I do believe I am."
An interesting write.
kind regards
trimple
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2020
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Hi there
This is an interesting write as you describe you initial thoughts about a footless soldier you bought and a mystical group you set-free from a cave. Ultimatley, these characters you feel were all trapped inside your mind and the action man became your editor in chief :)
A few things you may or indeed may not wish to consider as follows...
"Well, you did it when you woke up to yourself, dearie[.--comma] time's a-wasting and you have had us locked up in there for so long. We decided to set ourselves free[.--comma] all it took was a bit of determination on your part. The rest was easy. "
I was afraid to go in although I [knew/felt as if?] I needed to.
I tried to emulate the feeling she was expressing and found myself basking in a warm[ly --omit]approving smile.
He was very tall, with skin like oiled, black silk,--oiled black silk would become drab and loose its lustre... maybe just add the black silk?
[I--you felt] felt a pang of guilt at his words, [but he brushed it aside and said,?] This doesn't make sense to me.
Are we goin' to be free or will you let that wall [--grow up/build up?
His eyes were magnetic and his voice echoed in my chest in a [strangely/strange and? wonderful way. What strange and wonderful way?
a sweet face and a figure that was made for beautiful clothes.--nice description here.
"No[, Honey Chile,] you keep it. As a gift from us all.
They used to call me Killer McCallum," he said in a clipped, military voice.--nice
"Yes," I said[,--.] Julian's medallion was warm against my bosom under my favourite blue jumper."Yes, I do believe I am."
An interesting write.
kind regards
trimple
Comment Written 09-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2020
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Dear Friend, Thank you for your detailed review and the five stars. You have taken some time to write all this and I am most appreciative of your time and trouble. I will go over this piece again and correct where suggested. Thank you again, you are most kind and thoughtful cheers Cass
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My pleasure, Cass :)
much love
tracey
Comment from Brad Bennett
Well Cass, this is one of the reasons I started this thread, to read of the struggles of other writers to flesh out their characters. You seem to have this extraordinary ability to find inspiration. You go deep, agonizing until a pebble finally sets off an avalanche. They pop up personalities in place. I assume you get to know them before placing them in their roles, more likely, they tell you without asking.
I know that's how I write, when I get to know them, they take over. Once I let a character escape after murdering someone, I just couldn't bear to take her from her husband, who adored her. The victim, was a scoundrel anyway.
Thanks for your great read. You made my day.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2020
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Well Cass, this is one of the reasons I started this thread, to read of the struggles of other writers to flesh out their characters. You seem to have this extraordinary ability to find inspiration. You go deep, agonizing until a pebble finally sets off an avalanche. They pop up personalities in place. I assume you get to know them before placing them in their roles, more likely, they tell you without asking.
I know that's how I write, when I get to know them, they take over. Once I let a character escape after murdering someone, I just couldn't bear to take her from her husband, who adored her. The victim, was a scoundrel anyway.
Thanks for your great read. You made my day.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2020
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Dear Brad, Thank you for your review and the AWESOME SIX STARS. It has been a while since I received a sixer, so it is most welcome. Yes, my characters DO dictate ( to a certain extent) what they'll do (Or won't do). It is fascinating to watch them grow and develop and
become people with feelings and ideals, or at least some semblance
of a conscience. Many times I have drawn them from real-life people. Now that IS fun. How many times have you wished someone
tp suffer an embarrassing moment to take them down a peg (or two). Great stuff. I watched as a bossy sister was put back in her box
. Well and truly squashed!! It took all my talent as a negotiator, a writer and a "merciful sibling" to let her off the hook eventually.
I LOVE writing don't you? cheers Cass
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Hi. I would imagine, there's a version of your sister in your story cast somewhere, she may be a gold mine of mischief. :>)
