Too Soon
First love's lessons are the hardest...21 total reviews
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Senryu about a first love that often ends up in broken hearts and wings that us left over after a failed relationship until the broken pieces are healed again.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2020
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A very well-written Senryu about a first love that often ends up in broken hearts and wings that us left over after a failed relationship until the broken pieces are healed again.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2020
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Many thanks for your review. 8-)
Comment from Loren .
Definitely some things you given to us to think about, Yvette. We do learn that we must "clothe" ourselves when we venture out into the world. Odd, that it takes a naked learning to know and understand this. At least some of us do, while others seem blase or at least claim ignorance of the experience. Your character looks as if their is shame or regret. We are left to wonder. Loren
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2020
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Definitely some things you given to us to think about, Yvette. We do learn that we must "clothe" ourselves when we venture out into the world. Odd, that it takes a naked learning to know and understand this. At least some of us do, while others seem blase or at least claim ignorance of the experience. Your character looks as if their is shame or regret. We are left to wonder. Loren
Comment Written 05-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2020
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Thanx for stopping in on this shortie, Loren -- senryus are usually hit and miss for me: they're supposed to deal with human emotions, but I find my sarcasm sometimes gets in the way of 'real emotion' - LOL!! ;) This was one of my more 'reflective' moments, I suppose... :) :) ;) You take care of you over there and have a great week! ;) Yvette
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Whole lot of truth in the statement first love's lessons are the hardest cause most of the time it does not turn out the way someone wants it to and that hurts. Well crafted poem captures that essence spot on.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2020
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Whole lot of truth in the statement first love's lessons are the hardest cause most of the time it does not turn out the way someone wants it to and that hurts. Well crafted poem captures that essence spot on.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2020
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Many thanks for your review. 8-)
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Yes you're right, first love - broken heart - devastating. You've described the emotions well in this Senryu for the writing prompt challenge. Great artwork, good luck in the contest.
cheers
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2020
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Yes you're right, first love - broken heart - devastating. You've described the emotions well in this Senryu for the writing prompt challenge. Great artwork, good luck in the contest.
cheers
Comment Written 05-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2020
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Many thanks for your review. 8-)
Comment from wishawave
I feel a touch of melancholy reading this poem. The young love might be vulnerable in a way just because of uncertainty. Sometimes two people really love each other, but because they are too young and inexperienced not knowing how to handle when disagreement happens.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2020
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I feel a touch of melancholy reading this poem. The young love might be vulnerable in a way just because of uncertainty. Sometimes two people really love each other, but because they are too young and inexperienced not knowing how to handle when disagreement happens.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2020
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Many thanks for your review. 8-)
Comment from Eternal Muse
Wow - you cut deep on this one! Great metaphor of "heart's naked trust" and "naiive flight of fancy".
Loved the this line.
My only comment is that your text font is too small compared by a large artwork, and is a bit tough for the eyes to read.
I think, increasing the font by a couple of notches will bring out the presentation.
I certainly wish you a lot of luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2020
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Wow - you cut deep on this one! Great metaphor of "heart's naked trust" and "naiive flight of fancy".
Loved the this line.
My only comment is that your text font is too small compared by a large artwork, and is a bit tough for the eyes to read.
I think, increasing the font by a couple of notches will bring out the presentation.
I certainly wish you a lot of luck with the contest.
Comment Written 04-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2020
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Many thanks for your wonderful review. 8-)
Comment from Joan E.
Wow--the artwork you selected is so perfect for your 5-7-5 senryu! I admired your use of alliteration and the "broken wings" analogy. Best wishes in the contest- Joan
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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Wow--the artwork you selected is so perfect for your 5-7-5 senryu! I admired your use of alliteration and the "broken wings" analogy. Best wishes in the contest- Joan
Comment Written 04-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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Many thanks for your review. 8-)
Comment from equestrik
The image is perfect for your write. First love is so many things it can be heartbreaking, confusing, and so very sad but..it can also be forever and wonderful. Nice writing.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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The image is perfect for your write. First love is so many things it can be heartbreaking, confusing, and so very sad but..it can also be forever and wonderful. Nice writing.
Comment Written 04-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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Many thanks for your review. 8-)
Comment from lancellot
Hmm, it begs the question. Did those young ever have wings to begin with, or is that just a heartwarming lie we parents like to tell ourselves. Naive, yes perhaps to a certain extent but not fully innocent or ignorant of the possible outcome, just like adult bad choices are made for immediate gratification.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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Hmm, it begs the question. Did those young ever have wings to begin with, or is that just a heartwarming lie we parents like to tell ourselves. Naive, yes perhaps to a certain extent but not fully innocent or ignorant of the possible outcome, just like adult bad choices are made for immediate gratification.
Comment Written 04-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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Harsh. But thank you for your review. 8-)
Comment from Mary Vigasin
I think we have all been there. I enjoyed your poem of how a young person trust is broken and has a hard landing.
Well done in the wording and image.
Good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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I think we have all been there. I enjoyed your poem of how a young person trust is broken and has a hard landing.
Well done in the wording and image.
Good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2020
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Many thanks for your review. 8-)
