Too Soon
First love's lessons are the hardest...21 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This senryu, Too Soon, presented as a 5-7-5, finds that first broken heart to be the worst. It will fade, life will continue, but it will never be forgotten.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2020
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This senryu, Too Soon, presented as a 5-7-5, finds that first broken heart to be the worst. It will fade, life will continue, but it will never be forgotten.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2020
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Thanx, Bill -- great to hear from you over here! ;)
Comment from Mia Twysted
"Naked trust" those words spoke to me ubove all the rest. We give our trust to that which we only hope to be something wonderful only to discover it was not there for us.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2020
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"Naked trust" those words spoke to me ubove all the rest. We give our trust to that which we only hope to be something wonderful only to discover it was not there for us.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2020
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So true.... Many thanks for your review.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello anonymous
Beautiful entry for the Write a Senryu writing prompt contest. Good syllable count and connection between lines. I like the presentation too. It's a sad story that happens all the time. Well done. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2020
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Hello anonymous
Beautiful entry for the Write a Senryu writing prompt contest. Good syllable count and connection between lines. I like the presentation too. It's a sad story that happens all the time. Well done. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2020
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Many thanks for your review. 8-)
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This is a great senryu with a suggested metaphor going on with 'flight' and 'wings' suggesting a young person is more of a young bird. It touches on a universal theme of disappointment in love. Nice share.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2020
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This is a great senryu with a suggested metaphor going on with 'flight' and 'wings' suggesting a young person is more of a young bird. It touches on a universal theme of disappointment in love. Nice share.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2020
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Many thanks for your review. 8-)
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is a perfect entry for the Write a Senryu contest. It is easy to read and understand, and it says much in a few words. I enjoyed this!
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2020
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This is a perfect entry for the Write a Senryu contest. It is easy to read and understand, and it says much in a few words. I enjoyed this!
Comment Written 06-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2020
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Many thanks for your review. 8-)
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You're quite welcome!
Comment from Melissa Russell Deur
This is a moving poem that links the readers by way of their own memories. I particularly like "naked trust," "naive flight," and "broken wings." The artwork you chose to complement your piece shows how devastated a young person is when trust is trashed. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2020
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This is a moving poem that links the readers by way of their own memories. I particularly like "naked trust," "naive flight," and "broken wings." The artwork you chose to complement your piece shows how devastated a young person is when trust is trashed. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 05-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2020
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Many thanks for your review.
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You are welcome!
Comment from Dawn Munro
What a sad senryu -- beautifully done, evoking much empathy and mental imagery. If such a tiny poem could sing, this one does, and its melancholy is actually helping my own self-pity tonight. (lol) Good luck in the booth!
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2020
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What a sad senryu -- beautifully done, evoking much empathy and mental imagery. If such a tiny poem could sing, this one does, and its melancholy is actually helping my own self-pity tonight. (lol) Good luck in the booth!
Comment Written 05-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2020
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Many thanks for your wonderful review, Dawn. Take care of you out there! ;) :)
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You're very welcome. You too, take care!
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
I think that both many men and women alike have unfortunately suffered from this kind of painful setback. I think that time sometimes heals these wounds and the victims bounce back. Thanks for sharing this inspirational and well written work. Well done!
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2020
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I think that both many men and women alike have unfortunately suffered from this kind of painful setback. I think that time sometimes heals these wounds and the victims bounce back. Thanks for sharing this inspirational and well written work. Well done!
Comment Written 05-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2020
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Many thanks for your review. 8-)
Comment from Debra White
Hello Yvette :)
I remember first love all too well.... and now I find myself waiting to catch my son, should he fall from the heady heights of his first romance.
I enjoyed reading this - nice alliteration in line 2 and I like how the flight of fancy ties in with the broken wings.
Best wishes as always, Debra :)
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2020
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Hello Yvette :)
I remember first love all too well.... and now I find myself waiting to catch my son, should he fall from the heady heights of his first romance.
I enjoyed reading this - nice alliteration in line 2 and I like how the flight of fancy ties in with the broken wings.
Best wishes as always, Debra :)
Comment Written 05-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2020
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It is sort of a rite of passage, isn't it? But better to have that first break when you've got a great support system around you to help it heal, yeah? ;) ;) You're a good mom!! ;) Thanx for your review, my lady!! ;)
Comment from Brad Bennett
Hi, bout time I dropped by. A very sweet poem, my wife reminds me it's more than merely sweet, it's a statement on the fragileness of young minds, and sometimes the tragic consequences of their raw emotions.
Well done.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2020
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Hi, bout time I dropped by. A very sweet poem, my wife reminds me it's more than merely sweet, it's a statement on the fragileness of young minds, and sometimes the tragic consequences of their raw emotions.
Well done.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2020
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Hey, there, Brad! ;) Good of you to stop in for this shortie, sir - thanx for your time and have a wonderful week! ;) Yvette
