Peach Of The Beach
Viewing comments for Prologue "Peach Of The Beach."Female lifeguard.
7 total reviews
Comment from equestrik
Good and intriquing wtiting here. nice job. This sets the stage and leaves me heading to the next chapter. I like the suspence and the flow here, nice job!
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2020
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Good and intriquing wtiting here. nice job. This sets the stage and leaves me heading to the next chapter. I like the suspence and the flow here, nice job!
Comment Written 10-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2020
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HELLO EQUESTRIK: Thank you for your review. You are appreciated. I invite you to read my story, "Peach Of The Beach," chapter by chapter as I write it. You will find it in my portfolio. Thank you. rhonnie69.
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I think i have read and caught up with your book. I did not review each chapter but will keep up :)
Comment from tempeste
Ciao Rhonnie !
I read all 4 parts in one long breath .. part 3 and 4 are my favorite ..
It's true .....It never rains but it pours .. after taking a wrong turn and getting lost , the car conked out .. then no more cool drink either
I love all the detail .. it makes the story come alive ..how the daughter sprinkled water over the dog , made a joke at his mom over the 4 Pepsi,
Love how you described the road winded like a strip of tape..
it looked and felt as deserted as a cemetery.
The mother's death in the pool .. she wasn't going to let her daughter die .. so she stopped panicking and she focused on saving her...
....she knew it would be her last loving gesture yet she pushed her daughter up with her last strength.
I'm definitely looking forward to seeing what comes next ..
don't make us wait too long Rhonnie.. ( biggrin)
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
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Ciao Rhonnie !
I read all 4 parts in one long breath .. part 3 and 4 are my favorite ..
It's true .....It never rains but it pours .. after taking a wrong turn and getting lost , the car conked out .. then no more cool drink either
I love all the detail .. it makes the story come alive ..how the daughter sprinkled water over the dog , made a joke at his mom over the 4 Pepsi,
Love how you described the road winded like a strip of tape..
it looked and felt as deserted as a cemetery.
The mother's death in the pool .. she wasn't going to let her daughter die .. so she stopped panicking and she focused on saving her...
....she knew it would be her last loving gesture yet she pushed her daughter up with her last strength.
I'm definitely looking forward to seeing what comes next ..
don't make us wait too long Rhonnie.. ( biggrin)
Comment Written 10-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
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CIAO TEMPESTE: I thank you for your review. As usual...you are appreciated. My friend, if you would like to read more of my story you will find it in my portfolio under, "Peach Of The Beach." Tempeste, I'm happy that you take your time to read it...and that you like it. There;s much more to come. God bless you, my friend. Cordially: rhonnie69.
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I just finished reading the last chapters ..
... don?t fear , I keep a keen eye on what you write Rhonnie 😋
Comment from Iza Deleanu
WOW, this is a very interesting story and you cut us quite in the middle of the drowning period: "Mom grabbed me. She tried to push me up to the surface.
When she did...I went up...she went down.
I didn't want to go up. I wanted to go back down there
where Mom was...and...I did...somehow......." Thank you for sharing and I can't wait for the next chapter.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2020
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WOW, this is a very interesting story and you cut us quite in the middle of the drowning period: "Mom grabbed me. She tried to push me up to the surface.
When she did...I went up...she went down.
I didn't want to go up. I wanted to go back down there
where Mom was...and...I did...somehow......." Thank you for sharing and I can't wait for the next chapter.
Comment Written 07-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2020
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HELLO IZA: Thank you for your review. You are appreciated. I invite you to read my story, "Peach Of The Beach," from chapter to chapter as I write it. You will find it in my portfolio. Thank you. rhonnie69.
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello Rhonnie69, a wonderful Wednesday to you, I hope this finds you well. I enjoyed reading your story, it hit home for me as I lost my little brother years ago after he drowned in a lake. It was hard not to think of him as I read it. I eagerly await to read some more of this story. Good job and have a great day!
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2020
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Hello Rhonnie69, a wonderful Wednesday to you, I hope this finds you well. I enjoyed reading your story, it hit home for me as I lost my little brother years ago after he drowned in a lake. It was hard not to think of him as I read it. I eagerly await to read some more of this story. Good job and have a great day!
Comment Written 07-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2020
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HELLO 13thpoet: Thank you for your review. You are appreciated. I invite you to read my story,"Peach Of The Beach," from chapter to chapter as I write it. You will find it in my portfolio. Thank you. rhonnie69.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
You surely convey the panic of the drowning people. I understand this is out of context of the whole so I take it all will be clarified later. Cheers. LIZ (a scream by definition is loud; fright or distress on behalf of the screamer and the hearer is assumed.)
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2020
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You surely convey the panic of the drowning people. I understand this is out of context of the whole so I take it all will be clarified later. Cheers. LIZ (a scream by definition is loud; fright or distress on behalf of the screamer and the hearer is assumed.)
Comment Written 07-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2020
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HELLO ELIZABETH: Thank you for your review. You are appreciated. I invite you to read my story, "Peach Of The Beach," from chapter to chapter as I write it. You will find it in my portfolio. Thank you. rhonnie69,
Comment from lancellot
Hmm a brief prologue. We aren't told much aside from a traumatic incident of someone seeing their mother drown in a pool. I suppose the how and why, when will be answered later, since neither could swim.
The form is strange but no rules are broken.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2020
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Hmm a brief prologue. We aren't told much aside from a traumatic incident of someone seeing their mother drown in a pool. I suppose the how and why, when will be answered later, since neither could swim.
The form is strange but no rules are broken.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2020
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HELLO LANCELLOT: Thank you for your review. You are appreciated. I invite you to read my story, "Peach Of The Beach," from chapter to chapter as I write it. You will find it in my portfolio. Thank you. rhonnie69.
Comment from Mary Vigasin
I am giving you 5 stars as there is much to like about your story and what I do not like is opinion only.
First, how it starts: do you need the word: sounding? how else is it going to sound?
Second; "help save this poor child" think of someone frightened out of their twits. Is this dialogue realistic?
I wasn't going to stay sunk. How about I wasn't going to stay down?
This is only my opinion, being in old person, I might be missing dialogue that make no sense to me but to a 20 something: Like panic bumped my head?
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2020
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I am giving you 5 stars as there is much to like about your story and what I do not like is opinion only.
First, how it starts: do you need the word: sounding? how else is it going to sound?
Second; "help save this poor child" think of someone frightened out of their twits. Is this dialogue realistic?
I wasn't going to stay sunk. How about I wasn't going to stay down?
This is only my opinion, being in old person, I might be missing dialogue that make no sense to me but to a 20 something: Like panic bumped my head?
Comment Written 04-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2020
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HELLO MARY: I thank you for your review. You are appreciated. Mary, If you read the story in full you will find that the prologue is actually an excerpt from the story. It is part of a scene in one of the chapters. You will also discover that the story is being told by a teen aged girl about something that happened when she was ten years old...so some of the dialogue is the dialect of kids. Tiger Lily is an eighty-plus years old grandmother. For her...yes..."Help! Save this poor child," ls realistic dialect for her. Read some more, Mary. Then I'm sure you'll understand. I will be releasing more soon. Again...I thank you. God bless you. Cordially: rhonnie69.