Army of Ants
4/7/5 Summer Haiku12 total reviews
Comment from Mark Schardine
army of ants
undertake tremendous task --
a crumb for the queen
To us it seems totally unimportant, but to them, it is a feat worthy of any human military accomplishment.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2020
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army of ants
undertake tremendous task --
a crumb for the queen
To us it seems totally unimportant, but to them, it is a feat worthy of any human military accomplishment.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2020
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Thank you very much, Mark. I appreciate your review.
Hugs,
Gypsy
Comment from Mark D. R.
Army soldiers frequently defend the royal home Gypsy. In this case, your army provides food for the Queen in small amounts. We know these ants carry more than their body weight (-;
Do like your image accompanying your summer Haiku.
Mark
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
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Army soldiers frequently defend the royal home Gypsy. In this case, your army provides food for the Queen in small amounts. We know these ants carry more than their body weight (-;
Do like your image accompanying your summer Haiku.
Mark
Comment Written 27-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
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It was hard finding the ants I wanted, that's the best I could do.
Thank you very much for your review and kind words.
Hugs,
Gypsy
Comment from lightink
Oh the irony! Such a smartly written poem! While the workers put so much effort into this, it's a mere crumb for the queen! (Isn't it always the case with the working and the reigning class?)
Well written, beautifully multi-faceted writing!
I LOVE the clever writing!
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
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Oh the irony! Such a smartly written poem! While the workers put so much effort into this, it's a mere crumb for the queen! (Isn't it always the case with the working and the reigning class?)
Well written, beautifully multi-faceted writing!
I LOVE the clever writing!
Comment Written 27-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
Thank you very much for the six stars! You give me the best feedback. Thank you very much for your review and kind words.
Hugs,
Gypsy
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Gypsy,
I really like this haiku. I've always battled ants. They seem to follow me wherever I go. Maybe I've stepped in jam or molasses. They are so small, how can you keep them out of your house?
I would change your poem slightly, though.
an army of ants
undertakes tremendous tasks
crumbs for the Queen
*******************************
I think "undertake" should agree with the noun, "army", which is singular. Therefore, "undertakes".
I like the almost near rhyme of "ants" and "tasks" when read aloud, the alliteration of "a" with "army of ants", and the consonance of "t" and "d" in the second line and "c/q" in the third line.
*********************************************
They are quite a social insect. And they love getting together for Thanksgiving Dinner!
Nicely penned!
Cheers,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
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Hi Gypsy,
I really like this haiku. I've always battled ants. They seem to follow me wherever I go. Maybe I've stepped in jam or molasses. They are so small, how can you keep them out of your house?
I would change your poem slightly, though.
an army of ants
undertakes tremendous tasks
crumbs for the Queen
*******************************
I think "undertake" should agree with the noun, "army", which is singular. Therefore, "undertakes".
I like the almost near rhyme of "ants" and "tasks" when read aloud, the alliteration of "a" with "army of ants", and the consonance of "t" and "d" in the second line and "c/q" in the third line.
*********************************************
They are quite a social insect. And they love getting together for Thanksgiving Dinner!
Nicely penned!
Cheers,
Kimbob
Comment Written 27-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
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Thank you very much, Kimbob, I appreciate your review and time.
hugs,
gypsy
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Perfectly done haiku using the summer theme and the satori is perfect. I have watched documentaries on them and the way they work together just to bring food back to the nest.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
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Perfectly done haiku using the summer theme and the satori is perfect. I have watched documentaries on them and the way they work together just to bring food back to the nest.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
Thank you very much for your review and kind words.
Hugs,
Gypsy
Comment from Gloria ....
Love the humour in this haiku, Gypsy. While it might be a crumb to us, and a fancy title for a meal, to the ants it takes an army to transport such a massive mountain.
Excellent and to form haiku and a pleasure to read and review today. :)
Gloria
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
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Love the humour in this haiku, Gypsy. While it might be a crumb to us, and a fancy title for a meal, to the ants it takes an army to transport such a massive mountain.
Excellent and to form haiku and a pleasure to read and review today. :)
Gloria
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
Thank you very much for your review and kind words.
Hugs,
Gypsy
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for reminding me the army of ants I see in my bathroom are hard at work providing for their queen! I admired your 4-7-5 haiku, colorful presentation and close-up of the individual ants. Smiles- Joan
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
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Thank you for reminding me the army of ants I see in my bathroom are hard at work providing for their queen! I admired your 4-7-5 haiku, colorful presentation and close-up of the individual ants. Smiles- Joan
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
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Thank you very much, Joan. :)
hugs,
gypsy
Comment from donette1914
very cleaver taking a crumb to the queen
very creative and your words came to life
you worked hard on this and it shows, very enjoyable piece
thank you for sharing
it was a pleasure
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
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very cleaver taking a crumb to the queen
very creative and your words came to life
you worked hard on this and it shows, very enjoyable piece
thank you for sharing
it was a pleasure
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
You teach me so much about Haiku just by reading your poems, which I could do for hours. Here I wonder why you chose crumb and not feast? You choose the prosaic over imagery - and I try to determine whether there is a reason for this.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
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You teach me so much about Haiku just by reading your poems, which I could do for hours. Here I wonder why you chose crumb and not feast? You choose the prosaic over imagery - and I try to determine whether there is a reason for this.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
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For ants, a small crumb is a huge feast. Just focusing on their point of view since haiku is about nature.
Thank you very much for your thoughtful review.
Hugs
Gypsy
Comment from lyenochka
That's such an adorable picture! Ah, the loyal soldiers of the ant army willing to sacrifice all for their queen. Great use of alliteration and I like the contrasting ideas of "crumb for the queen."
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
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That's such an adorable picture! Ah, the loyal soldiers of the ant army willing to sacrifice all for their queen. Great use of alliteration and I like the contrasting ideas of "crumb for the queen."
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words, Helen. I appreciate your time.
Hugs
Gypsy
