The Better Solution
The law isn't always the best idea.17 total reviews
Comment from lancellot
A very interesting flash. It is well crafted and I see no errors. I do have two minor suggestions.
He'd have to die many times before being released from prison.
- this line seems odd, since he had not had a trial yet.
Also, I would find someone else besides the prosecutor. Big trials make them famous. They would want it.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2020
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A very interesting flash. It is well crafted and I see no errors. I do have two minor suggestions.
He'd have to die many times before being released from prison.
- this line seems odd, since he had not had a trial yet.
Also, I would find someone else besides the prosecutor. Big trials make them famous. They would want it.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2020
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Thank you. To your first point: that line references my favorite line in the film "The Town".
Comment from Cindy Decker
Hi,
I love short short stories because my attention span isn't what it used to be.
Your story is fantastic! It has every elements of a story in it, plot, characterization, etc. The second paragraph gave me a little foreshadowing of what was to come *great!*
Your story is a complex one and the reader faces sort of a conundrum: to side with vigilante justice? Or not because this story involves a prosecutor.'
This is an excellent story.
Good luck in all your contests,
Cindy
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2020
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Hi,
I love short short stories because my attention span isn't what it used to be.
Your story is fantastic! It has every elements of a story in it, plot, characterization, etc. The second paragraph gave me a little foreshadowing of what was to come *great!*
Your story is a complex one and the reader faces sort of a conundrum: to side with vigilante justice? Or not because this story involves a prosecutor.'
This is an excellent story.
Good luck in all your contests,
Cindy
Comment Written 30-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2020
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Thank you for reading.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a good job with your contest entry. In just a few words, as required, you told an intriguing story. I was engaged from start to finish. The ending was unexpected, but it worked well.
Best wishes.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2020
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You did a good job with your contest entry. In just a few words, as required, you told an intriguing story. I was engaged from start to finish. The ending was unexpected, but it worked well.
Best wishes.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 29-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2020
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Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Comment from L. Kalere
Great job in telling a complete story in so few words. It's lean and down to business without pretense. Very nice twist at the end. Congratulations.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2020
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Great job in telling a complete story in so few words. It's lean and down to business without pretense. Very nice twist at the end. Congratulations.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2020
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the 80 Word Flash Fiction contest.
This short story is well told and interesting.
Well done and I wish you good luck with the contest.
Sharon
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2020
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I think this is a good entry for the 80 Word Flash Fiction contest.
This short story is well told and interesting.
Well done and I wish you good luck with the contest.
Sharon
Comment Written 29-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2020
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Thank you very much.
Comment from rockmann
I enjoy reading, as well as writing, these short stories. Yours told a complete story, and even had a nice twist at the end. I am sure others have mentioned the garble (RodrÃ???Ã??Ã?Âguez's) in the third paragraph. Well done.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020
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I enjoy reading, as well as writing, these short stories. Yours told a complete story, and even had a nice twist at the end. I am sure others have mentioned the garble (RodrÃ???Ã??Ã?Âguez's) in the third paragraph. Well done.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020
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Oh, I thought I got them all. Thank you.
Comment from F. William Lester
Well done. No doubt 80 words is difficult, but you handled it well and gave a good twist at the end. It surprised me. I have one question. The line, "He'd have to die many times before being released from prison." is confusing. Why, if he is so notorious, would he ever be released--if convicted? What do you mean by die? Suffer? A figurative death like a death of a thousand cuts? I realize you only have so much to work with in 80 words and a trial in this case is, unless Graham misses, moot. I'm splitting hairs, but I think if you changed some of the wording you would make the metaphor stronger.
Thanks for sharing this with me. Good job. Good luck. Good writing and stay well.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020
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Well done. No doubt 80 words is difficult, but you handled it well and gave a good twist at the end. It surprised me. I have one question. The line, "He'd have to die many times before being released from prison." is confusing. Why, if he is so notorious, would he ever be released--if convicted? What do you mean by die? Suffer? A figurative death like a death of a thousand cuts? I realize you only have so much to work with in 80 words and a trial in this case is, unless Graham misses, moot. I'm splitting hairs, but I think if you changed some of the wording you would make the metaphor stronger.
Thanks for sharing this with me. Good job. Good luck. Good writing and stay well.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020
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That is the line which references the movie "The Town". In the film, the main character's father was sentenced to several life sentences for robbery and murder. He said "I have to die five times before they let me out of here", referring to the multiple life sentences.
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You're welcome and thanks for the clarification.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Ladies and gentleman, justice have been served, outside the court but sentenced by a prosecutor. Lady Justice can say a word. Only one suggestion if I may, the name shows up like this RodrÃ?Âguez, I know some letters when you copy and paste from word come up wrong. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020
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Ladies and gentleman, justice have been served, outside the court but sentenced by a prosecutor. Lady Justice can say a word. Only one suggestion if I may, the name shows up like this RodrÃ?Âguez, I know some letters when you copy and paste from word come up wrong. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020
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Thank you. I will dive in and fix that.
Comment from mermaids
You surprised me at the end of the story. Your short story reads like a mini movie and the reader sees how evil the drug lord is. Your words held my interest and your writing is excellent. I see no need for any changes.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
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You surprised me at the end of the story. Your short story reads like a mini movie and the reader sees how evil the drug lord is. Your words held my interest and your writing is excellent. I see no need for any changes.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
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Thank you for your support.
Comment from Yohani
Great writing. Makes you feel you're in the scene seeing it live. Keeps you in suspense and wanting to know what will happen next.
I usually see that last name spelled Rodriguez. I'm wondering if somehow it was switched to RodrAguez or it was meant to be exactly that spelling.
Wondering little story.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
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Great writing. Makes you feel you're in the scene seeing it live. Keeps you in suspense and wanting to know what will happen next.
I usually see that last name spelled Rodriguez. I'm wondering if somehow it was switched to RodrAguez or it was meant to be exactly that spelling.
Wondering little story.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
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Thank you. I got the spelling from Google.