I'm a Bit Irate
Feelings contest entry23 total reviews
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
Well said and well written. The past cannot be changed, and the future will be what parents instill in their children. Hatred is so destructive.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
  |
Well said and well written. The past cannot be changed, and the future will be what parents instill in their children. Hatred is so destructive.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
-
That's for sure. Thank you for the great review and stars, Rebecca.
-
You're very welcome!
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about the protesters that make everyone else feeling guilty because they are not black and only black lives matter. All this provoke violence and reaction from those not involved in the protests.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
|
A very well-written poem about the protesters that make everyone else feeling guilty because they are not black and only black lives matter. All this provoke violence and reaction from those not involved in the protests.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
-
Thank you for the excellent review and gracious stars, Sandra.
Comment from LyndaS
Holy crap! What a brave, well defined post. I agree and support everything you said.
My grandmother raised me with two mantras. I can be anything I want to be and also that I am not any better than anyone else. I was brought up in a very diverse neighborhood. Thanks to her I had many friends of many colors.
I have NEVER had a racist thought in my head. Protesters screaming at me on my TV "assuring me that I am" really pissed me off.
I applaud your direct honesty and for being able to express how I feel. Excellent rhyme and meter. A well thought out entry into this contest. You have my vote.
Lynda
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
 |
Holy crap! What a brave, well defined post. I agree and support everything you said.
My grandmother raised me with two mantras. I can be anything I want to be and also that I am not any better than anyone else. I was brought up in a very diverse neighborhood. Thanks to her I had many friends of many colors.
I have NEVER had a racist thought in my head. Protesters screaming at me on my TV "assuring me that I am" really pissed me off.
I applaud your direct honesty and for being able to express how I feel. Excellent rhyme and meter. A well thought out entry into this contest. You have my vote.
Lynda
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
-
It sounds like you had a very wise grandmother, Lynda. Too bad there's not more people in the world like her. Thank you so much for the fantastic review and giant six, L. I'm glad you liked this lengthy piece. Have yourself a great rest of your weekend.
=]
Ron
-
Any thyme. Gutsy post. Well done, Mr. Skulls. I'm glad the majority agreed with you and supported you with the win!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello anonymous
Wow, this is quite a racist rant you got here. How dare you tell African Americans to pack their bags and leave? You have no idea what is like to be black in america with bigots like you in their necks. I am giving you a one star for your hateful content.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
 |
Hello anonymous
Wow, this is quite a racist rant you got here. How dare you tell African Americans to pack their bags and leave? You have no idea what is like to be black in america with bigots like you in their necks. I am giving you a one star for your hateful content.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
-
Clearly you misunderstood what I was saying. First off, I wasn't telling African Americans to pack up and leave. I was telling "anyone" who doesn't have the respect to stand for our National Anthem that they can leave. Again, that comment was not directed towards any African Americans. Just because we have racist cops committing white on black crime has nothing to do with our National Anthem. I'm not being a bigot because I am saying the exact opposite of what you are accusing me of. I'm sick of being labeled a racist just for the simple fact that I am white. The crimes of my forefathers has nothing to do with me. I have never been and never will be a racist. I just think it's ridiculous when African Americans claim they don't have the same rights of every other Americans because of what some stupid cops may do. We've all grown up with our own share of hardships. Not only African Americans have had it rough. I just want to know what they think the end result should be because again, they have just as many rights as everyone, if not more. I am not a racist and sick of being labeled one. And I'm tired of hearing it on the news. Thanks for the one star, Gypsy.
Comment from Markie Doczi
Outstanding!
Not only do I strongly agree with every sentiment stated here, but it is written and presented very nicely. It has an intriguing opening and a strong close. Smoothe flow, good rhythm, powerful words. You've got my vote and six stars!
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
|
Outstanding!
Not only do I strongly agree with every sentiment stated here, but it is written and presented very nicely. It has an intriguing opening and a strong close. Smoothe flow, good rhythm, powerful words. You've got my vote and six stars!
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
-
Thank you so much for the fantastic review and giant sixer, Markie. I dearly appreciate the kind comments and support. I hope you have a great rest of your weekend. Thank you again.
Ron
Comment from Eternal Muse
This poem had the best meter I've ever seen. Your humor, wit and creativity hit the roof, and I think I may predict a winner here.
So many lines stood out, among these:
I've never been like racist trash,
no ties to Klu Klux Klan.
But I'm so sick of daily news
assuring me I am.
This is awesome. I adore it. I'd like to know who you are so I can fan you (smile). This was a treat for a rhyme and meter buff like me.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
|
This poem had the best meter I've ever seen. Your humor, wit and creativity hit the roof, and I think I may predict a winner here.
So many lines stood out, among these:
I've never been like racist trash,
no ties to Klu Klux Klan.
But I'm so sick of daily news
assuring me I am.
This is awesome. I adore it. I'd like to know who you are so I can fan you (smile). This was a treat for a rhyme and meter buff like me.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
-
Hey, Yelena, hello. Thank you so much for the outstanding review and mammoth sixer. Yeah, I just had to do a little protesting of my own. Lol. You, know me, I always have to have my flow down to a T or I'm just not satisfied. Ha. I dearly appreciate the awesome review and rating, Y. I'm glad you liked the piece. Have a great rest of your weekend.
=]
Ron
-
This was a great piece, Ron, and congrats on a well deserved win.
Check out my new contest "5-7-5 witty epitaph for a rival.". Deadline in 8 days. Since you are a king of humor and wit, it would be great to gave you! It was a re-run of the same contest I did in 2013, it did very well then.
-
I just saw it. I'll have to give it some thought. Sounds fun.
Haven't gotten to review it yet but WOW, that swan piece of yours is awesome. I'm sure that was no easy task to pull off.
Thank you again, Y.
=]
Comment from djsaxon
Awesome! The BLM mindset is similar in Australia. I for one refuse to accept responsibility for the sins of my British Colonial fathers. The nuance throughout the write is powerful and relevant.
is just a, flat out, lie. (maybe lose the commas - they weaken the line)
with respect and support - DJ
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
|
Awesome! The BLM mindset is similar in Australia. I for one refuse to accept responsibility for the sins of my British Colonial fathers. The nuance throughout the write is powerful and relevant.
is just a, flat out, lie. (maybe lose the commas - they weaken the line)
with respect and support - DJ
Comment Written 25-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
-
Thank you for the great review and giant sixer, DJ. Plus, for the suggestion. I took out he commas. I wasn't sure what's correct there but like you said, it takes away from the flow.
Yes, I can't stand being blamed for what our forefathers did. But I do know it's about time for it to laid to rest. Not one person alive today has owned or known anyone who has ever owned a slave. Yes, it was wrong, but they need to stop shoving back in my face.
I really appreciate the great review and generous stars, friend. Thank you again. Have yourself a fantastic day.
Ron
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Point taken--outrage and frustration with these times of riots is well expressed--impressive that you took on the challenge of rhyme vs free verse--I'm with you on this! Cheers. LIZ
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
|
Point taken--outrage and frustration with these times of riots is well expressed--impressive that you took on the challenge of rhyme vs free verse--I'm with you on this! Cheers. LIZ
Comment Written 25-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
-
Thank you for the great review and gracious stars, Elizabeth. I'm glad you liked this lengthy piece.
Ron
Comment from royowen
Well dine and well said. Prejudice is far more far reaching than we think, it applies to politics, what school attended, to rich or poor, from "upper class" to "lower class" from fat or thin, even to country born in, national pride can be likewise, like racism on an international scale, causing the First World War. Beautifully written, a great ballad style, beautifully written,
Suggestion; for views (that) your child sees.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
|
Well dine and well said. Prejudice is far more far reaching than we think, it applies to politics, what school attended, to rich or poor, from "upper class" to "lower class" from fat or thin, even to country born in, national pride can be likewise, like racism on an international scale, causing the First World War. Beautifully written, a great ballad style, beautifully written,
Suggestion; for views (that) your child sees.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2020
-
Thank you for the fantastic review, Roy. Yes, it's everywhere. I just hope some day we can be rid of it. I really appreciate the generous stars, friend. Have a great day. Thank you again.
-
Most welcome
Comment from HarryT
What more proof could you need? Delete could replace with do.
assuring me I am. Suggest adding "that."
Good rhyming scheme it does not seem forced for the most part. And the verses do play with one's emotions.
You say that hate is not the way, however, the last four stanzas seem angry and hateful. I believe this point could be made in a less antagonistic manner. However, that is only my opinion, I acknowledge you that you have the right to express your viewpoint in any manner you see fit.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020
|
What more proof could you need? Delete could replace with do.
assuring me I am. Suggest adding "that."
Good rhyming scheme it does not seem forced for the most part. And the verses do play with one's emotions.
You say that hate is not the way, however, the last four stanzas seem angry and hateful. I believe this point could be made in a less antagonistic manner. However, that is only my opinion, I acknowledge you that you have the right to express your viewpoint in any manner you see fit.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020
-
Yeah, that's why I had it titled "I'm a bit irate" but what can you do? Thanks for the 4 stars, Harry.
