Shunned by his Own Kind
Please check out notes below7 total reviews
Comment from rhonnie69
CIAO TEMPESTE: For once you told me something that I know about. Still I thank you for sharing this heartfelt posting. You always make me realize just how much you can make me feel the way that you make me feel. Here you make me feel that it is only one way that I can be lonely. How? Because although I lose my physical strength as long I don't lose my lioness, I still have everything that I want and need. And I will never lose my lioness...because as long as she's alive, she will never let that happen to me...because she loves me. Her care for me is my strength. That makes me her superman. God bless you, Tempeste. Cordially: From your Leo to my Cleo.... P.S. Luv ta Luv ya."
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CIAO TEMPESTE: For once you told me something that I know about. Still I thank you for sharing this heartfelt posting. You always make me realize just how much you can make me feel the way that you make me feel. Here you make me feel that it is only one way that I can be lonely. How? Because although I lose my physical strength as long I don't lose my lioness, I still have everything that I want and need. And I will never lose my lioness...because as long as she's alive, she will never let that happen to me...because she loves me. Her care for me is my strength. That makes me her superman. God bless you, Tempeste. Cordially: From your Leo to my Cleo.... P.S. Luv ta Luv ya."
Comment Written 24-Sep-2020
Comment from Y. M. Roger
It is a monumental time in the life of a pride... A good depiction of the definition of 'lonely' in your words here - thanx for sharing and best of luck in the contest! ;)
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020
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It is a monumental time in the life of a pride... A good depiction of the definition of 'lonely' in your words here - thanx for sharing and best of luck in the contest! ;)
Comment Written 24-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020
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️Ciao !
The contest is over and thanks to 10 voters I won the blue ribbon..
I am glad so many members enjoy my poem .. It was a theme dear to me.
Stay safe!!!
️Ciao!
Comment from Liz O'Neill
This is a very poignant poem. You have given many details to the reader. It becomes a cautionary tale. This reminds me of certain aspects of George Orwell's Animal Farm. They have a pdf on line if you're ever interested in reading it. You poem is definitely a metaphor of our society. Well researched.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020
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This is a very poignant poem. You have given many details to the reader. It becomes a cautionary tale. This reminds me of certain aspects of George Orwell's Animal Farm. They have a pdf on line if you're ever interested in reading it. You poem is definitely a metaphor of our society. Well researched.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020
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️Ciao!
I actually have read Orwell's Animal Farm .. but thanks for the link ..no harm to refresh one's ️mind .
Glad you enjoyed my entry !
Keep safe!
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I like Animal Farm for a reference to so many things. Many institutions run animal farm with its power overtake. It really wasn't what I'd call a power struggle. There was no struggle; the pigs just took over and the memories began to seem like they were fading because the rules were deceptively changed. I worked where this is a common occurrance.
Comment from Cindy Decker
I know events like the ones you write about above are the natural order of nature, but they are still
really said. The lion you mention may have been too weak to chase the photographer off, but maybe in a strange way he was grateful that you stayed there as he passed.
It's like seeing people, only a shadow of what they once were, dying. But most people have the privilege of drying with someone sitting next to them.
Such a sad story--beautifully written.
Best wishes in all your writing,
Cindy
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2020
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I know events like the ones you write about above are the natural order of nature, but they are still
really said. The lion you mention may have been too weak to chase the photographer off, but maybe in a strange way he was grateful that you stayed there as he passed.
It's like seeing people, only a shadow of what they once were, dying. But most people have the privilege of drying with someone sitting next to them.
Such a sad story--beautifully written.
Best wishes in all your writing,
Cindy
Comment Written 23-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2020
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The strongest must mate to secure the species .. ( sigh)
To give you more insight on the demise of Skybed Scar.
According to the article I read .....
The photographer sighted the lion as he was drinking at a water hole .. He saw he was skin and bone .. the lion gave a half roar of defiance when he was forced to beat retreat in the face of an advancing elephant.
He then stopped in a clump of grass and that is when their gazes met.. He stayed close for an hour ...he wanted the lion to know that he would not die alone as he struggled to breath, his chest rising only every so often.
He concludes saying: 'Then a last twitch of an ear, his last breath, he was gone.
The King was dead.'
His story is heartbreaking .
Comment from A. Louise Robertson
Even realizing that this is the law of nature, it is so sad to think of that majestic animal meeting such a terrible end.
Thank you for sharing this poem, I guess sadness is the inevitable accompaniment to loneliness, whether for man or beast.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2020
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Even realizing that this is the law of nature, it is so sad to think of that majestic animal meeting such a terrible end.
Thank you for sharing this poem, I guess sadness is the inevitable accompaniment to loneliness, whether for man or beast.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2020
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Only the strongest males mate that is how the species thrives ..
it still is a harsh rule to live by especial for lions ..
Unlike all other big cats , lions are social animals . They live in groups ..each with a role.
The females do most of the hunting while the dominant male protects territory and pride
A King deposed is a sad sight ..
He lives alone until he is killed or starves to death.
Thank you for the kind review ..glad you liked the read.
Keep safe!
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello fellow writer, good morning to you. I just recently watched this very thing happen a couple of weeks ago on National Geographic. The circle of life can often be a sad one. Great job on the free verse poem, should be a strong contender.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2020
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Hello fellow writer, good morning to you. I just recently watched this very thing happen a couple of weeks ago on National Geographic. The circle of life can often be a sad one. Great job on the free verse poem, should be a strong contender.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2020
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️️Greetings to you too!
Thank you for the positive review!
I'm a fan of National geographic too..
when I was young I wanted to visit Africa because it was full of beautiful animals..
As an adult I got the full picture .. Survival is tough out there.... especially for male lions once they have been deposed and alone.
The females do most of the hunting , the male protects the territory and pride ..
I have alway felt sorry for those defeated ..
It's a very undignified why to ️die for a King .. As I said I think they are best off dying in battle rather than wasting away like that .
Take care
Comment from trimple
Hello there, Mystery author.
Your free verse poem relays the ultimate price of defeat. Without his pride, 'phisically, emotionally and collectively... he is now alone and left to starve to death, having lost his final battle as the proud king.
One thing I would consider is -- [Shun--shunned] by his own kind in solitude he wanders
A fine poem which emphasizes the harsh reality of what it is to be abandoned in the wild by your kin.
I wish you well in the contest.
kind regards
trimple
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2020
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Hello there, Mystery author.
Your free verse poem relays the ultimate price of defeat. Without his pride, 'phisically, emotionally and collectively... he is now alone and left to starve to death, having lost his final battle as the proud king.
One thing I would consider is -- [Shun--shunned] by his own kind in solitude he wanders
A fine poem which emphasizes the harsh reality of what it is to be abandoned in the wild by your kin.
I wish you well in the contest.
kind regards
trimple
Comment Written 22-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2020
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Thank you for the kind review and for the grammar tips .. I edited the phrase ..
You didn't mention the title so I'm not sure ...I edited that also ..
Keep safe
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Hi there.
Yup, I meant both :)
Good luck! A fine entry indeed. Mind you, I would have played about with the word 'pride' a bit more which may have added even more gravitas to the whole poem, but that's just me :)
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I understand your point ..I could have focused also on pride seen as an attitude ..
... but the poem can only have max 15 lines.
I''m scared it will be disqualified because it rhymes too much.
It has happened twice before in a free verse contest ..I was given the chance to edit but I declined ( biggrin)
I'm not very good at all these different formats .. ️
Ciao!
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Oh, yes of course, silly me... I didn't think of that :)
biggrin-- is that a typo or just a delicious word I've not heard of before or one you've just made up?
I very much enjoyed your poem as it stands... I'm being... well... me, I guess :)
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Seeing fanstory doesn't provide emotions I like to add written ones ...( wink)
Sometimes I do invent words though when i get English mixed up with my language .
Take care
️Ciao!
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Love it! Biggrin... I'll remember that one :)
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I enjoyed our chat
️Ciao !
