The Spirit of the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Fireflies"Newylwed homesteader Jane becomes a widow
14 total reviews
Comment from Sally Law
This is so sweet and romantic. The end paragraph did me in. I am hopeful for the engaged prairie couple and their future. I can hardly imagine this woman being alone all this time.
A few improvements for your consideration.
-"(You've) given me a second chance." Typo.
-"I kept his eyes on me with my words." I think you meant he. Suggestion: I held his gaze with my words." Or simply, "I held his gaze."
Sending you my best today as always, and blessings for your writing endeavors,
Sal xo
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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This is so sweet and romantic. The end paragraph did me in. I am hopeful for the engaged prairie couple and their future. I can hardly imagine this woman being alone all this time.
A few improvements for your consideration.
-"(You've) given me a second chance." Typo.
-"I kept his eyes on me with my words." I think you meant he. Suggestion: I held his gaze with my words." Or simply, "I held his gaze."
Sending you my best today as always, and blessings for your writing endeavors,
Sal xo
Comment Written 16-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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Thanks for jumping all in on the story. I hope to reciprocate. Blessings, always. Ephesians 3:20
Comment from Ben Colder
I must compliment you for writing this ion the feminine aspect. I remember your wording about the percentage of women verses the men who read this type of work.
You are way above average, Stan, in my book.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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I must compliment you for writing this ion the feminine aspect. I remember your wording about the percentage of women verses the men who read this type of work.
You are way above average, Stan, in my book.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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Thanks, Ben for following this closely. I will need your input later, because the story will get intense when I up the conflict considerably and Jane gets taken captive. I want to be sure I'm honest about her captors and white attitudes, good, bad, or ugly, but hardcore truth and reality. Eventually, I might lean on you pretty heavily, brother, but I have been reading and researching too!
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Anytime Bro
Comment from roof35
This is very well written with no errors. It is poignant and moves along at a nice pace. I liked your closing lines about sparks of hope. This is nicely done. (Rochester, NY)
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reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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This is very well written with no errors. It is poignant and moves along at a nice pace. I liked your closing lines about sparks of hope. This is nicely done. (Rochester, NY)
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Comment Written 16-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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Thanks, Rochester. Good to hear someone from upstate, NY
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
What a lovely romantic chapter! The story is rolling along nicely and the plot thickens. The characters are still very real and believable. Their conversations are smooth and natural. Well done!
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reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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What a lovely romantic chapter! The story is rolling along nicely and the plot thickens. The characters are still very real and believable. Their conversations are smooth and natural. Well done!
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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Thanks for the encouraging words and specific mentions.
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You're very welcome!
