She Must Be Dug
Advice from a minister about how to stop a haunting.7 total reviews
Comment from oliver818
This is a great story. You created a fascinating and wonderful atmosphere here. The characters are deep and convincing and they come across well through the dialogue. The piece is truest nasty, I have no idea why anyone would eat a corpse haha. But that's part of why it's such a good piece- it's convincing. Thanks for sharing this and have a great day
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2020
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This is a great story. You created a fascinating and wonderful atmosphere here. The characters are deep and convincing and they come across well through the dialogue. The piece is truest nasty, I have no idea why anyone would eat a corpse haha. But that's part of why it's such a good piece- it's convincing. Thanks for sharing this and have a great day
Comment Written 10-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2020
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review. Your words are very encouraging.
Comment from Y. M. Roger
First, you need to pop back in and put a warning on this one for violence... And that was just creepy and on a number of levels here... just wow. Best of luck to you in the contest! ;)
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2020
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First, you need to pop back in and put a warning on this one for violence... And that was just creepy and on a number of levels here... just wow. Best of luck to you in the contest! ;)
Comment Written 09-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2020
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Thanks for the read, violence warning posted.
Comment from Ben B.
If she died in 1888, what year is it now? Other than that this is good. I thought Lilly was there to torment him but she was really an angel of death.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2020
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If she died in 1888, what year is it now? Other than that this is good. I thought Lilly was there to torment him but she was really an angel of death.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2020
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The year of the story is 1888. Thanks for the review.
Comment from nor84
I notice this is labeled as fiction, but I believe the contest announcement says entries are supposed to be nonfiction. You might want to double-check that.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2020
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I notice this is labeled as fiction, but I believe the contest announcement says entries are supposed to be nonfiction. You might want to double-check that.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2020
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Don't think it would be non-fiction, but I checked, did not see mention of non-fiction. It may have been another entry, I think you may be thinking of the Halloween story contest. This contest was titled,"Ghost Story." Thanks. I hope I am not in error.
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It is in the listing of upcoming contests as 'nonfiction' but she should have also put that in her rules; therefore, I don't think you'll have a problem. Good luck.
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Thanks
Comment from Iza Deleanu
This is quite a story with a super scary end. You made the ghost win over the living: "
She says, "Willy, you are ready, it is time," and extends her hand; a radiant smile graces her face. I began coughing, blood oozes from my nose and mouth, I feel as if a cow is sitting on my chest.
"Come," Lilly says. I hear the pastor's voice echoing, "It is good; go with her." I can't resist, I grasp her ethereal hand. Suddenly, I am weightless, I'm being pulled out of myself. The two of us are floating through the opening in the ceiling and into the light. I look down, I see a mask of death shrouding my face." Thank you for sharing and good luck with he contest.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2020
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This is quite a story with a super scary end. You made the ghost win over the living: "
She says, "Willy, you are ready, it is time," and extends her hand; a radiant smile graces her face. I began coughing, blood oozes from my nose and mouth, I feel as if a cow is sitting on my chest.
"Come," Lilly says. I hear the pastor's voice echoing, "It is good; go with her." I can't resist, I grasp her ethereal hand. Suddenly, I am weightless, I'm being pulled out of myself. The two of us are floating through the opening in the ceiling and into the light. I look down, I see a mask of death shrouding my face." Thank you for sharing and good luck with he contest.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2020
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Thanks for the read and the commentary on the story. Much appreciated.
Comment from trimple
Hello there, Mystery writer.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this ghost story. It is very well written and has a great sense of reality to it and as a result I was very drawn in.
Your descriptions are wonderful and I am left wondering why I bother writing at all. lol
A few things to consider or not as the case may be.
she gave her time as [a] volunteer at the Children's Home.
Reverent Mather will be able to make sense of this happening for you."
Reverent Mather will be able to make sense of what is happening to you?
Mother and Father both believe with his help and my prayers[,] Lilly's spirit will gain peaceful rest.
He scrutinizes me with crepe-crinkled eyes--unique description
This libation awakens my messenger to the Lord. lol loved this -- I liken this to my morning coffee. Not that it awakens any lords, but it sure helps me wake up to the day ahead.
I watch the Reverent, pull the cork and sit. An earthy, damp aroma wafts about the room as he pours the green liquid into a crystal goblet and lays the spoon upon the rim. He carefully places a sugar cube on the spoon then slowly pours water from a pewter pitcher over the sugar cube; the liquid in the goblet turns a milky green. He closes his eyes and tips the glass allowing the liquid to slowly trickle down his throat. Lowering the goblet, he says, "My spiritual messenger will soon transmit the Lord's advice to me."
-- fabulous description.
As we carry her[, the] decaying red and white rose petals fall from her dress.
He deftly slices into Lilly's chest, [around] underneath] her[limp] arm to her back
Don't you think the olive oil and garlic give them a nice taste?--Holy crap!
However, early this morning when the grandfather clock in the hall [is--omit][had] chime[s][d] three
I'm awakened by a bright illumination as the ceiling yawns open and Lilly comes--lovely image
A great ending to this spooky and somewhat gory story.
I will be looking out for this well told Ghostly story in the booths.
Fabulous!
Kind regards
trimple
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2020
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Hello there, Mystery writer.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this ghost story. It is very well written and has a great sense of reality to it and as a result I was very drawn in.
Your descriptions are wonderful and I am left wondering why I bother writing at all. lol
A few things to consider or not as the case may be.
she gave her time as [a] volunteer at the Children's Home.
Reverent Mather will be able to make sense of this happening for you."
Reverent Mather will be able to make sense of what is happening to you?
Mother and Father both believe with his help and my prayers[,] Lilly's spirit will gain peaceful rest.
He scrutinizes me with crepe-crinkled eyes--unique description
This libation awakens my messenger to the Lord. lol loved this -- I liken this to my morning coffee. Not that it awakens any lords, but it sure helps me wake up to the day ahead.
I watch the Reverent, pull the cork and sit. An earthy, damp aroma wafts about the room as he pours the green liquid into a crystal goblet and lays the spoon upon the rim. He carefully places a sugar cube on the spoon then slowly pours water from a pewter pitcher over the sugar cube; the liquid in the goblet turns a milky green. He closes his eyes and tips the glass allowing the liquid to slowly trickle down his throat. Lowering the goblet, he says, "My spiritual messenger will soon transmit the Lord's advice to me."
-- fabulous description.
As we carry her[, the] decaying red and white rose petals fall from her dress.
He deftly slices into Lilly's chest, [around] underneath] her[limp] arm to her back
Don't you think the olive oil and garlic give them a nice taste?--Holy crap!
However, early this morning when the grandfather clock in the hall [is--omit][had] chime[s][d] three
I'm awakened by a bright illumination as the ceiling yawns open and Lilly comes--lovely image
A great ending to this spooky and somewhat gory story.
I will be looking out for this well told Ghostly story in the booths.
Fabulous!
Kind regards
trimple
Comment Written 11-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2020
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Thank you so much for the careful read and the suggestions. I will carefully consider each one. Appreciate the time and effort you put forth.
Comment from Veenbee
Wow, very well written. Excellent story. I must admit, I didn't see that one coming. Ah, whose side was the reverent on anyway? ð???Great job. Veenbee ð???
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2020
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Wow, very well written. Excellent story. I must admit, I didn't see that one coming. Ah, whose side was the reverent on anyway? ð???Great job. Veenbee ð???
Comment Written 11-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2020
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I guess he has a fondness for organ delicacies. Thanks for the read and review. Appreciated.
