Miscarriage of Justice
100-word story13 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This one-hundred-word story, Miscarriage of Justice, has the required word count and presents a sad and unsettling scene which could never really seem just.
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This one-hundred-word story, Miscarriage of Justice, has the required word count and presents a sad and unsettling scene which could never really seem just.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2020
Comment from Valerie Fish
This resonates with me Lisa; I've seen that small shape in the toilet bowl.. (Many years ago, now have two healthy grown up boys).
Wasn't expecting that ending though, she seems to go from heartbreak to relief just like that. Or is she just trying to convince herself it's all okay. Food for thought there, well done.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2020
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This resonates with me Lisa; I've seen that small shape in the toilet bowl.. (Many years ago, now have two healthy grown up boys).
Wasn't expecting that ending though, she seems to go from heartbreak to relief just like that. Or is she just trying to convince herself it's all okay. Food for thought there, well done.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2020
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They would have been sad times for you - good to hear success happened.
I think the ending tries to portray that losing the baby may have been a good thing (she's trying to persuade herself, anyway). Husband Gary is probably manipulative and violent, the mother in law is not nice, and the fact the baby was conceived through infidelity is a complicating factor.
Comment from Mia Twysted
I am left feeling conflicted. I am so sorry for that girl. Something like that is not easy. But than to find she had been lying all along makes me see her in a different light. I also have negative feelings toward the mother in law yelling at her so coldly. Very well done.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2020
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I am left feeling conflicted. I am so sorry for that girl. Something like that is not easy. But than to find she had been lying all along makes me see her in a different light. I also have negative feelings toward the mother in law yelling at her so coldly. Very well done.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2020
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Thanks for reviewing, and for catching the tone of this story. Life is full of conflicted emotions - who is right, who is wrong, who deserves punishment. Each of these characters is flawed - the mother in law is mean-spirited, Gary is probably manipulative and violent, and the wife - whom we might feel sorry for because of the miscarriage - has been unfaithful.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello anonymous
Interesting entry for the
100 Word Story writing prompt contest. You did a good job telling a flash fiction story in 100 words until the end. I wouldn't know what your story is about if it wasn't for the title.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2020
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Hello anonymous
Interesting entry for the
100 Word Story writing prompt contest. You did a good job telling a flash fiction story in 100 words until the end. I wouldn't know what your story is about if it wasn't for the title.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2020
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Thanks for your review. I hope this explanation fills in how my imagination was working when writing the story. I was trying to catch the tone that life is full of conflicted emotions - who is right, who is wrong, who deserves punishment. Each of these characters is flawed - the mother in law is mean-spirited, Gary is probably manipulative and violent, and the wife - whom we might feel sorry for because of the miscarriage - has been unfaithful.
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Wow, that was a lot! LoL. Thank you, I understand now.
Comment from RShipp
What a sad life she must have been living for all her options to have come to this. It doesn't seem as if the mother-in-law is a comfort! (haha)
Best of luck in the100 Word Story writing contest.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2020
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What a sad life she must have been living for all her options to have come to this. It doesn't seem as if the mother-in-law is a comfort! (haha)
Best of luck in the100 Word Story writing contest.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2020
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Poor mothers in law often get bad press; this one was a meanie also. Plus Gary must have been manipulative and possibly violent. I feel sorry for the wife..;. but as she has been unfaithful, it's hard to know how sorry to be - it sounds like she didn't want to be pregnant... obviously caught in a difficult situation.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a chilling write and a story about suicide seen as the escape from the wrong path taken in life, a sad tale with a chilling end here, or maybe it is a miscarriage and the baby was lost here, it could be either, you won my vote, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2020
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This is a chilling write and a story about suicide seen as the escape from the wrong path taken in life, a sad tale with a chilling end here, or maybe it is a miscarriage and the baby was lost here, it could be either, you won my vote, love Dolly x
Comment Written 10-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2020
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Suicide was not my intention - she might have thought of it, but this is a miscarriage. Thanks for the support vote!
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written hundred-word flash fiction about miscarriage of a child that will be better not to be in the world because of the circumstances of his existence.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2020
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A very well-written hundred-word flash fiction about miscarriage of a child that will be better not to be in the world because of the circumstances of his existence.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2020
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Thank you. You understood the story perfectly. Some reviewers are confused by it.
Comment from lancellot
Well, you didn't use the words but you did a good job eluding to a woman who had just killed her baby? I'm not sure of the plot, except she cheated and then killed the baby or something.
Interesting entry.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2020
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Well, you didn't use the words but you did a good job eluding to a woman who had just killed her baby? I'm not sure of the plot, except she cheated and then killed the baby or something.
Interesting entry.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2020
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Maybe she just had a miscarriage (alluded to in the title) rather than actually aborting it. But she definitely cheated on her violent husband.
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is a great entry for the 100 Word Story writing prompt. I was glued to it from the beginning to the end. I hope this story does well in the contest. Good luck!
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2020
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This is a great entry for the 100 Word Story writing prompt. I was glued to it from the beginning to the end. I hope this story does well in the contest. Good luck!
Comment Written 09-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2020
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Thanks for your comments. I'm glad you responded so well to it - I was worried it might put people off with its content. A miscarriage is rather a grim topic but i hoped there was enough psychological tension to carry the story.
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There was! Many women find themselves in that very situation.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This 100 word story speaks a story of miscarriage of justice; right person was punished at misconception; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
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This 100 word story speaks a story of miscarriage of justice; right person was punished at misconception; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 09-Sep-2020
