Where Are All The Children
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Up in Fames"A vigilante takes down trafficing rings.
15 total reviews
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Mistydawn, looks like you are writing an intriguing story for you new book---Where Are All The Children about tracking little girls is going to be a very interesting story for us fanstorians to read.
I believe this part of describing Kevin stands;
( five-foot-eight. He has strawberry blond hair and a light, freckled complexion. ) Should be else where in your great story.
Gert
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
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Hello Mistydawn, looks like you are writing an intriguing story for you new book---Where Are All The Children about tracking little girls is going to be a very interesting story for us fanstorians to read.
I believe this part of describing Kevin stands;
( five-foot-eight. He has strawberry blond hair and a light, freckled complexion. ) Should be else where in your great story.
Gert
Comment Written 06-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
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Thank you so much for reading my chapter your encouraging words and your thoughts on that part. It doesn't seem to fit so I changed it to this. Please tell me what you think.
Kevin hands the sergeant a report. His five-foot-five frame seems puny alongside the sergeants. Unlike his coworkers, he has a light, freckled complexion and strawberry blond hair.
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement, and friendship. It always means the world to me, take care.
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Smiles Mistydawn
I like the way you made your description of Kevin much clearer than the way it was.
Gert
Comment from BethShelby
You are such a good writer, I love the way you describe the setting and also the characters. The story tells about some horrible things and I hope there isn't a lot of this going on in real life, but I wouldn't be surprised.
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
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You are such a good writer, I love the way you describe the setting and also the characters. The story tells about some horrible things and I hope there isn't a lot of this going on in real life, but I wouldn't be surprised.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
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Thank you so much for reading my chapter and your nice compliment. Unfortunately, this is happening all over the world. The United States is the worst of them all. 300,000 children a year are trafficked. What's really scary is people you know and trust, people in public officers are some of the bigger players in the game.
Thank you again for all your help, support encouragement, and friendship. It always means the world to me, take care.
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It is good that you're calling attention to what is happening. That is so sad. I won't to cry when I here about innocent children being abused like this.
Beth
Comment from AnnieDawn
A good chapter that sounds like it is at the beginning of the book from the way the main characters are described. Otherwise their descriptions would be pretty established by now. This was easy to follow with no errors in grammar or punctuation that I could see. I enjoyed the good read. Well done.
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reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
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A good chapter that sounds like it is at the beginning of the book from the way the main characters are described. Otherwise their descriptions would be pretty established by now. This was easy to follow with no errors in grammar or punctuation that I could see. I enjoyed the good read. Well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
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Thank you so much for reading my chapter I'm so glad you enjoyed it. This is the first actual chapter. The prologue shows what lead up to this.
Thank you again for reading my chapter. Your support is always appreciated, take care.
Comment from Ulla
Wow, Misty, this is scary stuff, and disgusting as well. Anyone abusing children is so sick that I feel like castrasting them. Strong words, I know but too me they are the lowest of the lowest. I know they are sick, but that is too late to find that out, when the poor kid becomes a victim. GRRR.
Love your story. Ulla xx
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
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Wow, Misty, this is scary stuff, and disgusting as well. Anyone abusing children is so sick that I feel like castrasting them. Strong words, I know but too me they are the lowest of the lowest. I know they are sick, but that is too late to find that out, when the poor kid becomes a victim. GRRR.
Love your story. Ulla xx
Comment Written 06-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
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Thank you so much for reading my chapter and your fantastic review. It's horrid what some kids have to go through. Something needs to be done that's for sure. Maybe do a little rewiring in that pint-sized organ they call a brain.
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement, and friendship. It always means the world to me, take care.
Comment from royowen
These are horrid things, a child trafficking ring, and it looks like vigilante is at work, trying ing bring it down on his own. Such a horrid thing, child trafficking, poor parents in these operations, treating like commodities. Well done, blessings, Roy
Typo : Their pale, bronze face(s)
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reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
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These are horrid things, a child trafficking ring, and it looks like vigilante is at work, trying ing bring it down on his own. Such a horrid thing, child trafficking, poor parents in these operations, treating like commodities. Well done, blessings, Roy
Typo : Their pale, bronze face(s)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
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Thank you so much for reading my story and for catching my mistake. It is horrible what goes on in the world. Poor innocent children suffering so. It breaks my heart.
Thank you again for all your help, support encouragement, and friendship. It always means the world to me, take care.
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Well done
