Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

When the toys come to life after lights out, then a child's imagination runs riot and you created a fun story here of a busy scene before dawn, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 06-Sep-2020

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reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020

Thanks for your review. Kids imagine the weirdest things.
Geoff

Comment from RShipp

Excellent

Wow! That would be worth staying awake all night to witness.

A fun take on the life of toys when kids are away.

Enjoyed.

Best of luck in the Poem For A Child writing prompt contest.

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2020

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reply by the author on 05-Sep-2020

Thanks for your review. Glad you enjoyed.

Comment from Mia Twysted

Good

I like the idea of this piece. It reminded me a bit of Toystory. You brought toys to life an gave them a side not often seen by adults. However, I wasn't able to emotionlly connect to the piece. As I read the poem aloud it felt forced and I stumbled.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2020

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reply by the author on 05-Sep-2020

Thanks for your review. Much appreciated.

Comment from Liz O'Neill

Excellent

This poem is very clever. Your use of the literary technique of personification and animation will draw the child in. The child hearing this story will feel privileged to know what is going on while all other children sleep. Nicely orchestrated.

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2020

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reply by the author on 05-Sep-2020

Thanks for your review. Glad you enjoyed.

Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.

Excellent

This is a darling poem for children teaching them not to fear the night. The toys do play. I hope it does very well in the contest. Best of luck to you!

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2020

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reply by the author on 05-Sep-2020

Thank you for your review. Much appreciated

Comment from lancellot

Excellent

This is nice. It has that Toystory feel to it. I would suggest, looking at the last line and the concrete tower line too.

But overall it is a good entry.

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2020

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reply by the author on 05-Sep-2020

Thanks for your review. Much appreciated

Comment from Cass Carlton

Excellent

This is a story poem about a little boy's toys that come to life after dark when he is asleep. Teddy the bear dresses in his uniform the same as what the soldiers wear that stand guard over John's bedroom. Two racing cars tear around the room,competing for first place. Small workmen build a sky scraper out of the blocks, only to dismantle it at the coming of Dawn. Goodness me, what a busy bedroom for this little boy.What fun. Delightful. Light hearted and fun to read and imagine
Cheers Cass

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2020

Comment from roof35

Excellent

This is well written and I think a child would like this poem. The illustration pairs well and sets the stage for your words. I wonder if you have a typo. You say, "Teddy walks up." Could you have meant, "Teddy wakes up?"

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2020

Comment from Earl Corp

Excellent

I love when inanimate items are given human characteristics. This should do well in the voting booth. Very nice job. Good luck in the contest. Stay safe and stay healthy.

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2020

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reply by the author on 04-Sep-2020

Thanks for your review. Glad you enjoyed.

Comment from Dan Dinkel

Excellent

Reminds me of the Toy Story movie. Well written, but I would like to have heard more about the toy's night time antics. Maybe a couple more examples would be meaningful?

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2020

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reply by the author on 04-Sep-2020

Thanks for your review. You could go on and on with this but has to stop somewhere.